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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Grasshopper Experiment (S01E01)

"For some reason, I related to it quite strongly."
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"I know the reason."
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"We all know the reason."
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"Sheldon, what are you getting at?"
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"That woman looks exactly like the pictures of Princess Panchali in the book."
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"Every year at Comic-Con."
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"You can hire Snow White to come to your house."
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"Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid."
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"Hey, guys. This is Lalita Gupta."
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"Lalita, this is Leonard and Sheldon and Howard and Penny."
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"Forgive me, Your Highness..."
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"...for I am but a monkey and it is in my nature to climb."
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"I did not mean to gaze upon you as you comb your hair."
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"I'm sorry?"
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"You are the living embodiment of the beautiful Princess Panchali."
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"Oh, no kidding. Who is that?"
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"A beloved character from an lndian folktale."
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"Oh."
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"Us lndian or "come to our casino" lndian?"
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"- You lndian. - Oh."
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"The resemblance is remarkable."
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"Well, thanks."
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"I imagine you smell very nice too."
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"I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can."
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"Really? So do l."
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"But you're a dentist, he's nuts."
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"Don't be insulting, Rajesh."
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"So, Sheldon, tell me more about this princess you say I look like."
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"It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars..."
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"Oh, my."
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"If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you will feel the full extent of my wrath."
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"I'm not hitting on her."
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"And I am not your lady."
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"And you have no wrath."
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"You are my lady. Our parents said so."
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"Let's get something straight."
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"The only reason I came tonight was to get my parents off my case."
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"I don't need to be getting this old-world crap from you."
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"That's the kind of spirit with which Princess Panchali led the monkeys to freedom."
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"But you're not Princess Panchali."
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"Luckily for you. She could have you beheaded."
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"- Sheldon, are you hungry? - I could eat."
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"Let's go."
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"What just happened?"
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"Beats the hell out of me."
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"I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up lndian chicks."
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"MRS. KOOTHRAPPALl: What are we supposed to say to Lalita's parents?"
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"Maybe you should keep your eye on the ball, Papa."
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"Oh, now you're a funnyman? This is not funny, Mr. Funnyman."
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"Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Raj's fault."
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"- This is a family matter, Sheldon. - No, I'm Leonard."
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"Oh. Sorry. You all look alike to us."
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"But he's right, Papa. Listen to him."
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"You, you are the one who ruined everything."
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"Turn us. Turn us."
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"How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count?"
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"This has nothing to do with my sperm count."
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"You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren 't you?"
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"Yes, Mommy."
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"You know what happens to the samosas when you wear the tighty whities."
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"Can we please stop talking about my testicles?"
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"- Sheldon, tell them what you did. - What did I do?"
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"You left with his date."
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"Oh."
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"All right, noted."
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"Take it, Raj. It's more than I've ever gotten."
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"And may I point out..."
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"...she wouldn't have asked me to go if you weren't drunk and boring."
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"- Drunk? - And boring. Her words."
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"I knew it, he moves to America and becomes an alcoholic."
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"Then why were you drunk?"
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"It was just this one time, Papa, I swear."
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"Are you in denial? Do we have to come over and do an intervention?"
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"Don 't embarrass him in front of his friends."
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"All right. Carry us outside."
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"We want to talk to you in private."
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"- But, Papa, please-- - Now, Rajesh."
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"I have to go."
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"DR. KOOTHRAPPALl: Now, listen to me-- - At least wait till I get into the hall."
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"Hold on."
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"What happened with you and Lalita?"
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"We ate, she lectured me on the link between gum disease and heart attacks..."
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"...nothing I didn't already know, and I came home."
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"So you're not gonna see her again?"
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"I already have a dentist."
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"I wonder who's gonna tell his parents that they're not having grandchildren."
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"I don't believe it. What's gotten into him?"
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"Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kind of slutty."
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"You didn't."
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"Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine."
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"They said eight slots plus removable lD."
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"This drink is an example of how liquids with different specific gravities..."
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"I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair."
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"- Back off, Sheldon. - What?"
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"Excuse me, hello?"
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"It's the premise of Fiddler on the Roof."
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"- So who wants to rent Fiddler? - No need. We have the special edition."
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"Well, maybe we are like Haroon and Tanvir."
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"...and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs."
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"Yeah, well, I'm sorry too..."
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"Your mother gave my mother your phone number to give to me."
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"If I don't call her, I won't hear the end of it."
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"So don't call her."
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"Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm and it served society quite well."
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"...but there's just no room for you in my wallet."
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"No, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History..."
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"So I'm calling you and call me back."
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"Can you believe how pushy she is?"
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"Romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the 1 9th century."
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"Bye."
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"My parents are trying to marry me off to a stranger. What am I going to do?"
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"- I suggest you go through with it. - What?"
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