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Clips from American Dad! - Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth (S05E05)

"- What is it? - This horse says you molested him."
American Dad!
"Although it's in peak physical shape, its mind is shot."
American Dad!
"I'm afraid this horse will never race again."
American Dad!
"That's it. We're ruined."
American Dad!
"Do not say a word of this to Francine. Do you understand me?"
American Dad!
"We got into this together. We'll get out of it together."
American Dad!
"[Rattling]"
American Dad!
"[Squishing]"
American Dad!
"The horse is ruined. Stan raped it. You're probably gonna lose the house."
American Dad!
"- [Shatters] - Damn it, Stan!"
American Dad!
"Francine, wait!"
American Dad!
"What have I done?"
American Dad!
"- There's no way I'll come up with the money. - My offer still stands."
American Dad!
"Put my brain back into a human body, and I'll get a job doing animal sounds."
American Dad!
"Listen to this one."
American Dad!
"Yup-yup! Yup-yup! I'm a rabbit."
American Dad!
"That's it. Thank you, Klaus."
American Dad!
"[Kisses] What a great idea."
American Dad!
"Come on, Roger. We're going to the C. I.A."
American Dad!
"Wait. Wait. Where are you going? We had a deal!"
American Dad!
"His mind is shot, but its body is perfect."
American Dad!
"But now with my mind in its body, I'm gonna win that race."
American Dad!
"- Wait. Aren't we forgetting something? - Oh, yeah."
American Dad!
"[Whinnies, Blusters]"
American Dad!
"Look at you. You're like Bambi. Frickin' adorable."
American Dad!
"Careful. One hoof at a time. Good! You're doing it!"
American Dad!
"[Laughs] Look at me. I'm trotting."
American Dad!
"Ooh, fancy."
American Dad!
"Hey, check out what else I can do."
American Dad!
"[Sighs] You get one of those."
American Dad!
"You get one of those, Horse Stan."
American Dad!
"Now we train."
American Dad!
"Man, I'm fast."
American Dad!
"Can I pet your horse?"
American Dad!
"Oh, a little cowboy. Sure. Go ahead, buckaroo."
American Dad!
"Honey, don't do that. Horses don't like to be poked in the eye."
American Dad!
"Honey, he doesn't like that."
American Dad!
"If you don't stop doing that, I'm gonna come to your house..."
American Dad!
"[Gasps, Screaming]"
American Dad!
"Stop that. Stop."
American Dad!
"Hey, Frannie, you wanna come cheer me on at the track?"
American Dad!
"Gonna be exciting."
American Dad!
"Fine. Might as well be there in person when I lose everything."
American Dad!
"Oh, you're a lot of fun. Glad I invited you."
American Dad!
"I gotta go poop and puke so I can fit in my jockey pants."
American Dad!
"Stupid horse!"
American Dad!
"Oh, I'm sorry, fella."
American Dad!
"It's not your fault. It's my husband."
American Dad!
"Oh, I'll never be able to look at him the same way again."
American Dad!
"Go ahead. Try and stick your pinkie in there. It can't be done."
American Dad!
"No? Not interested?"
American Dad!
"You are in a rough mood."
American Dad!
"[Engine Starts]"
American Dad!
"Hey, brother. Chewing on hay? Yeah, that's cool."
American Dad!
"So just checking in, seeing when you're gonna put my brain back in a body."
American Dad!
"[Whinnies, Blusters]"
American Dad!
"Dad, I need your help."
American Dad!
"- What are you talking about? - Instead of switching my brain with a human..."
American Dad!
"- he switched his own brain with a horse. - That's perfect."
American Dad!
"It's not perfect for me, Steve!"
American Dad!
"- [Muffled Yelling] - Let's go, Dad Horse."
American Dad!
"It's working!"
American Dad!
"- [Grunting] - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Well, boys, the truth is, I don't have a wallet."
American Dad!
"Two Christmases ago, I soaked it in teriyaki sauce and ate it."
American Dad!
"It was just nice having you boys around."
American Dad!
"See, I don't socialize much since the missus died."
American Dad!
"Here. Here's your money."
American Dad!
"Let's get out of here. Fat people disgust me."
American Dad!
"Hey, this is great!"
American Dad!
"I'm part of the neighborhood again!"
American Dad!
"Hey, Greg, Terry, how you been?"
American Dad!
"It's me- Al Tuttle."
American Dad!
"- He looks terrible. - Why are we always holding hands?"
American Dad!
"- How else will people know we're gay? - Oh, yeah. You're right."
American Dad!
"Okay, I bet all your money on you to win."
American Dad!
"I can't concentrate. It's Francine."
American Dad!
"What? So she's pissed. Everybody's pissed. It's weird times these days."
American Dad!
"No, she's not just pissed. She's disappointed. And that's worse."
American Dad!
"I can't believe I let her down. I gotta make this right."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] Make it quick! Just kill me!"
American Dad!
"No, no. Francine, it's me."
American Dad!
"I put our family's security in jeopardy."
American Dad!
"I just wanted to keep my S.U.V. So I could roll right over anyone in my way."
American Dad!
"I'm so sorry. How can I ever make it up to you?"
American Dad!
"Win."
American Dad!
"Well, what are we waitin' for?"
American Dad!
"- What's wrong, bud? - I wish I had like a rival jockey or something..."
American Dad!
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
American Dad!
"- Hey, you, with the goatee. - Yeah?"
American Dad!
"- Pumping your wife. - Hey! No, you weren't."
American Dad!
"Yes, I was. Pumping her good."
American Dad!
"It is on!"
American Dad!
"Can't we just go back to the C. I. A?"
American Dad!
"In a minute. There's something important I have to do first."
American Dad!
"and I think we both know what that means."
American Dad!
"[Man] Steven."
American Dad!
"He's right."
American Dad!
"Bye! Have a beautiful time."
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"# The sun in the sky has a smile on his face #"
American Dad!
"[Chorus] # Good morning, U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"- [Woman Screams] - # And the thought takes place uptown #"
American Dad!
"I've hardly seen him since his wife died."
American Dad!
"[Stan] There he is."
American Dad!
"it's Well I'll Be A Son Of A Bitch... finishing dead last!"
American Dad!
"That was only misleading if you're just joining us now!"
American Dad!
"Hey, little man. [Hawking]"
American Dad!
"But I don't see how that's any of your business."
American Dad!
"and I got worried I'd forget which horse I was racing."
American Dad!
"- But do not tell Francine. - It'll be our little secret."
American Dad!
"Stan, if you wanna keep your S.U.V., your house and your wife, you'll do it."
American Dad!
"Stan, stop whispering. The horse won't know who to listen to."
American Dad!
"Stan, this is my fault too."
American Dad!
"Come on, Dad Horse."
American Dad!
"## [Trumpet: "Call to the Post"]"
American Dad!
"[Gasps] Stan? You're a horse."
American Dad!
"Well, there is one thing you could do for me."
American Dad!
"[Vomiting]"
American Dad!
"Whoo-hoo! Son Of A Bitch!"
American Dad!
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