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Clips from Scrubs - My Office (S04E04)

"The best news I ever get to give everybody, anybody, ever,"
Scrubs
"is, "By the way, ma'am, were you aware that that breathing tube in your neck"
Scrubs
"Come on, look, bottom line, I really needed a win."
Scrubs
"I did, and I finally got one, and, you, you stole it, man."
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"I needed one too."
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"Where's my win? Think anybody thanks me for cleaning bathrooms?"
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"The bathrooms are filthy."
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"No, no, you'll break the thing. Here's the thing about bulbs."
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"- If we can get behind the bulb... - We go down the mouth."
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"Your turn's over."
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"All we need to do is thread an angioplasty balloon past the bulb..."
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"- And then pull. - Pull it."
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"- Doctor. - Doctor."
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"No."
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"I thought I'd check with you before I killed a man."
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"I just came to check on my patients."
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"Do what you want. Just don't come to my area."
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"but I'd never call in that favour to pay you to come to my area."
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"Got her."
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"I hate to interrupt, but you need to take a look at this man."
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"- Elliot, he's in V-tach. - Get the crash cart."
Scrubs
"What are you doing?"
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"Well, I'm tired of trying to find my office, so I just set up shop here."
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"Oh! OK, that's not weird. Look, I want to apologise for my wife."
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"She'd never admit it to you,"
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"but she likes to be the person who tells everybody what to do."
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"Wrong. Look..."
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"If every once in a while you could let her be the one to give the advice,"
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"you guys might end up being friends."
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"You truly underestimate how proud my wife is."
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"If she knew I was here, she'd kill me."
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"What happened to the part about how much I help people?"
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"- She said I did well. - Turtlehead."
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"You're gonna want to get a piece of this. Come on."
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"- Thanks for all the hard work, Bob. - Glad to do it."
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"Oh, and, Bart, I think Lyle might be ready for that rough-sex-play talk"
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"Too late."
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"Can you imagine us trying to do that three years ago?"
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"by remembering why you were friends in the first place."
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"Or by swallowing your pride."
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"But I'm OK with it."
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"Good Lord!"
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"JD, I still need time."
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"That's gonna be hard for you because you like to fix everything right away."
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"You just do the best you can, OK?"
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"Maybe it was because I had no idea who this guy on the back of my bike was."
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"Bubble wrap! Bubble wrap!"
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"I'm starting my endocrinology and metabolism fellowship."
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"Can I still be considered for the chief residency?"
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"And grind it Grind it, grind it"
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"- Hey, do you have a magazine? - Not in me... I mean, on me."
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"Perry. I have a cousin named Perry."
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"Interesting."
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"I'm going to do a study about conflict resolution between hospital personnel,"
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"Look, "doctor,""
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"us real doctors are here to work, so there's not a whole lot of conflict."
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"I never get to give good news."
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"I don't need surgery. Dr Turk just told me."
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"but she just ignored me."
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"If you want to talk about your husband, we can go to my office now."
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"Don't feel bad. You couldn't have seen it coming. Awful, though."
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"What, now?"
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"I take issue with that."
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"Last chance, Perry. Fix this kid."
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"are when one of the parties doesn't realise they're in a fight."
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"Really?"
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"is to hope that nothing makes it worse."
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"- I'll take Indian Elvis. - Yes!"
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"At first, but now that it's a hospital mystery, every jackass in the joint"
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"If we could just find the lamp the bulb came from."
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"Now, come on, you nerds."
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"Monique, I owe you an apology."
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"Without regular therapy, it'll only last a week."
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"Why did you just close your eyes at me?"
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"Not my office."
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"Dammit!"
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"Unbelievable, Doug."
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"- I wouldn't pay you. - You don't have enough."
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"I can do that..."
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"All right."
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"Don't hang up, Lester."
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"Talk to her. You know her better."
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"In the end, though, it doesn't matter how you get there."
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"I miss this. Just, like, hanging out, you know?"
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"No, no, I mean, like, outside coffee. Real world coffee."
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"- Is it fixed now? - Nope."
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"also comes in day-glo pink?""
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"Awesome!"
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"Turk, I heard your conflict with Dr Cox escalated."
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"Website's on the back."
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"That's it! I want everybody to get out who is not an expert on light bulbs."
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"Not so fast. You're working with me, tall man."
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"Holy cow. You realise if we could get a tight clamp around the bulb..."
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"I know what you're doing."
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"who took credit for your ingenious method of debulbing a patient's keister."
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"We're having coffee."
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"The point is we should hang out outside the hospital sometime."
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"By doing this study I realised some of the most interesting conflicts"
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"Keep up, people. We got pre-rounds to do."
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"to repeat his third year in the entire history of the hospital."
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"I didn't feel bad. A lot of people were playing dirty."
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"That's the way you tell me I need major surgery?"
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"She's right."
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"Write that down."
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"There you go, working girl."
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"Uh-huh."
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"or you can behave like petty children."
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"That's the one."
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"- He's coming. - Get your arse out here."
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"is that when someone's in trouble, all the pettiness melts away."
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"- I just said that. - I know."
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"That young man's father is very important."
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"I need to publish a paper to earn my keep."
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"I'd love to look at your patient's rash, but also, if time allows,"
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"Maybe I wasn't clear. This patient is important."
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"I heard this guy's got a light bulb up his arse."
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"That's why my wife and I use candles."
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"by a very unhealthy relationship with my mother."
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"Let go of that anger."
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"Sorry about the gallbladder thing. I win!"
Scrubs
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