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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Pants Alternative (S03E03)

"I could probably get that from the woman at Ralph's."
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"And she'd let me taste some pieces of cheese for free."
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"But it could be part of your problem. Let me give you an example."
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"When I was 8, I won a ribbon at the science fair for my project..."
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"...Do Lima Beans Grow Better to Classical Music."
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"...of my brother's earlier..."
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"...Do Lima Beans Grow Worse to Rock 'n ' Roll."
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"I felt so guilty I gave the ribbon back."
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"And how did that make you feel?"
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"Terrible."
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"I worked really hard on that project."
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"...to a lima bean sprout."
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"It wasn't my fault."
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"I had never seen my brother's project."
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"And my mother could've told me before..."
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"So I hear you saying you're angry with your mother."
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"Damn right, I'm angry with my mother."
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"For God's sake, I was 8 years old."
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"She humiliated me."
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"- Thank you, Leonard. - For what?"
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"...to crawl out of bed each morning..."
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"...I think I can face a simple awards ceremony."
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"Wait, that's it? I thought we had a whole hour."
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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."
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"It is my great honor to introduce the winner..."
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"...of this year's Chancellor's Award for Science, and my good friend..."
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"...Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
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"But before I do, I'd like to share with you a letter..."
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"...from Sheldon's mother, who couldn't be here tonight."
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"Isn't that nice? His mother sent him a letter."
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"Wonder what that feels like."
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""Dear Shelly.""
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"That's what she calls him. Shelly. It's a pet name."
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"You know what my mother's pet name for me is? Leonard."
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"But I digress."
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"- "Dear Shelly, I am so proud..." - Oh, dear."
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"- What's the matter? - I'm getting dizzy."
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"Don't worry. You're surrounded by your C-Men."
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"I can't do this. I'm going to faint."
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"All right, drink this. It'll relax you."
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"- Alcohol? I don't drink alcohol. - Fine, faint."
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"I don't feel different. This alcohol's defective."
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"Here. See if this one works."
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"First of all, the projects were totally different."
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"I was showing that classical music nurtures lima beans..."
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"...I'd like to point out that my brother is 8 inches taller than me."
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"I'm ready!"
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"Right."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, our guest of honor..."
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"...Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
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"Thanks, shorty. I'll take it from here."
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"All right, you people ready to have some fun?"
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"You have an understanding of differential calculus..."
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"...and at least one year of algebraic topology?"
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"Well, here come the jokes."
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"To get to the same side? Buzzinga."
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"A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?""
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"The bartender says, "For you, no charge.""
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"Hello? I know you're out there."
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"I can hear you metabolizing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide."
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"Dr. Randall from the geology department..."
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"...only man who's happy when they take his work for granite."
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"Bada-cha."
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"I kid the geologists, of course..."
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"...but it's only because I have no respect for the field."
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"Let's get serious for a moment."
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"Why are we all here?"
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"Because we're scientists."
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"And what do scientists study?"
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"The universe."
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"And what's the universe made of?"
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"I am so glad you asked."
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"There's antimony, arsenic Aluminum, selenium"
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"And nickel, neodymium Neptunium, germanium"
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"And Iron, americium Ruthenium, uranium"
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"Just the Asians!"
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"Would you be able to answer some questions I'm having..."
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"...about the events of last night?"
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"- Sure. - Question one."
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"Where are my pants?"
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"You might wanna check YouTube."
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"All right, people, let's get down to the math."
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"It Is only three-dimensional thinking that limits our imagination."
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"Can I take my pants off over my head?"
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"Of course not, my body's In the way."
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"But If we had access to higher dimensions..."
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"...we could move our pants around our bodies..."
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"...through the fourth dimension..."
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"Oh, Lord, this couldn't be any more humiliating."
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"Oh. Give it a minute."
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"Now for the astronomers In the audience..."
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"...get ready to see the dark side of the moon."
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"And here's Uranus."
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"It'll give you confidence."
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"Yeah, that's when I buy shoes."
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"That's when the bed-wetting started again."
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"...and makes them grow. But my mother didn't hear me."
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"It looks like we have some academic dignitaries in the audience."
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"And lanthanum and osmium And astatine and radium"
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"...and our days of dropping trousers would be over."
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"I didn't turn a profit last quarter..."
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"But my mother pointed out that it was just a rehash..."
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