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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Zazzy Substitution (S04E04)

"I'm the social glue that holds this little group together."
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"You're welcome."
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"Listen, can I talk to you about your girlfriend?"
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"She's not my girlfriend."
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"She's a girl and she's my friend..."
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"...or unsanitary exchange of saliva."
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"Got it."
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"Although, on one occasion..."
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"...she licked her thumb to remove raspberry jelly..."
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"...from the corner of my mouth."
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"It was an action we both regret to this day."
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"Uh-huh. Anyway. I'm not sure she's the best fit..."
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"...for our little, how should we call it, rebel alliance."
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"Oh, I never identified with the Rebel Alliance."
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"Okay, let me just get right to it."
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"Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious and frankly, just obnoxious."
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"So?"
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"So we already have you for all that."
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"Are you suggesting I terminate my relationship with Amy?"
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"No, no, of course not. Just have your relationship someplace else."
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"May I point out that for eight long months..."
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"...filled our apartment with her off-key country music caterwauling..."
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"...the unappetizing spectacle of her grinding a pumice stone..."
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"...about the Jersey Shore."
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"Suffered in silence?"
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"Yes."
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"And I'd thank you to do the same."
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"Ah. Nothing makes beer taste better..."
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"...than cool clear Rocky Mountain spring water."
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"Where are the Rocky Mountains?"
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"I thought they were out west someplace."
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"Think about it, Raj. Where did the movie Rocky take place?"
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"Philadelphia."
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"So this is the plan? We're gonna hide out here to avoid the Shamy?"
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"I'm very comfortable here."
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"Get one yourself."
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"Ooh, somebody's been taking bitchy pills."
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"God, he's an ass when he drinks."
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"Well, he's an ass when he doesn't. You just don't hear it."
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"...Shamy could go on for years."
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"If that's the case, Penny will get satellite TV..."
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"...and maybe once a week, run a vacuum through this place."
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"- I did. - Well, what did he say?"
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"Well, he pointed out that he kind of, sort of, had to put up with you."
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"- Well, you defended me, right? - I tried, but..."
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"He made a fairly well-reasoned argument."
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"- You're not doing that right. - What?"
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"- Give me. - No."
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"- No, trust me. - No."
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"I do this for my Mom all the time."
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"See? With the grain."
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"Wow, that is better."
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"And someday, when you have varicose veins..."
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"...I'll show you how to massage them."
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"Oh, God, never again."
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"I assume you mean never again will you drink all of Penny's beer..."
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"...run to the gas station for a couple of 40s..."
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"...your Bollywood break-dancing skills."
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"- That's very offensive. - Yeah, we all thought so."
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"- Oh, no. - What?"
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"John and Yoko."
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"More like Yoko and Yoko."
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"- Greetings. - Hey."
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"I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing."
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"It's very impressive. For theoretical work."
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"Do I detect a hint of condescension?"
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"I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?"
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"I meant compared to the real-world applications of neurobiology..."
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"...theoretical physics is... What's the word I'm looking for? Hmm, cute."
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"Oh."
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"...could ever rise to the significance of a physicist..."
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"...like Clerk Maxwell or Dirac?"
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"I'm stating it outright."
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"Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clerk Maxwell."
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"You take that back."
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"Absolutely not. My colleagues and I map the neurological substrates..."
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"...that subserve global information processing..."
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"...which is required for cognitive reasoning, including scientific inquiry..."
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"...making my research, ipso facto, prior in the ordo cognoscendi."
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"I'm sorry, I'm still trying to work..."
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"...on the "defecating Clerk Maxwell." So..."
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"Excuse me, but a grand unified theory, insofar as it explains everything..."
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"...will, ipso facto, explain neurobiology."
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"But if successful, I will map and reproduce your thought processes..."
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"...in deriving a grand unified theory."
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"And therefore, subsume your conclusions under my paradigm."
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"That's the rankest psychologism..."
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"...by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s."
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"- We appear to have reached an impasse. - I agree."
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"I move our relationship terminate immediately."
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"- Seconded. - There being no objections?"
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"No. Uh-uh."
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"- Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler. - Good day, Sheldon Cooper."
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"Women, huh?"
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"Amen to that."
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"- Hey, Sheldon. - Hello."
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"I hear you broke up with Amy."
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"A breakup would imply she was my girlfriend."
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"Wow, that's, like, the worst country song ever."
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"So how are you doing?"
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"- Regarding what? - Amy."
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"I don't follow."
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"Well, breakups..."
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"...or whatever the hell this is, can be tough."
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"Penny, I assure you, I'm fine."
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"My relationship with Amy was purely intellectual."
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"There were no emotional bonds..."
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"...the severing of which would cause me any discomfort."
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"The relationship simply outlived its utility..."
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"...and I'm continuing on with my life as before."
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"Okay. Good."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a pussycat."
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"I gotta tell you guys, I'm a little worried about Sheldon."
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"We're all a little worried about Sheldon."
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"No. I mean, since the Shamy hit a reef."
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"Oh, I thought you were making a generalization."
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"I'm worried about Sheldon someday setting off a low-yield nuclear device..."
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"...because the cafeteria ran out of lime Jell-O."
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"- What does "hit a reef" mean? - Uh, went splitsville."
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"- Pardon? - Turned to boom-boom."
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