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Clips from Disenchantment (2018) - Love's Tender Rampage (S01E01)

"Cat-thing, I've always been my own man, never needed others for advice."
Disenchantment (2018)
"Well, glad we had this talk. See ya."
Disenchantment (2018)
"I never had to stoop to kindness or charm."
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"But now those things are gone and so are the ladies."
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"So, tell me why the damsels flock to you,"
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"someone far more repulsive than yours porkly."
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"I would love to give you some great advice,"
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"Now we must get started at once."
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"I need a date for the ball this Sunday."
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"Okay, let's fire up the magic crystal"
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"- No." - Hmm."
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"Want me to ask if you're gonna die alone, or are we good?"
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"[Elfo screaming]"
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"[giant growls]"
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"but, at one point, I got my head stuck in her eye socket."
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"I'm glad you're enjoying your time together,"
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"because I had a great idea."
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"but when you two are making love, is she aware?"
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"[growls]"
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"Don't listen to him. You're obviously a great couple."
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"Hi, I'm Chazz. Pretty rose for the pretty lady?"
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"[sneezes]"
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"Looks like it."
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"Ugh! That was stuck in my throat for days! Oh, my mouth tastes like a barn."
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"She can talk?"
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"[laughs] Yes, of course she can."
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"The hell is wrong with you people? Get these things off me."
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"I am not a monster. I'm a person, with thoughts and feelings."
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"For God's sake, I'm a grad student."
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"That's why I love her. She's so darn smart."
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"'cause I'm his "girlfriend.""
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"Lover! I'm a filthy lover. So nasty."
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"This just raises more questions."
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"Really. I know I'm a jerk and a liar, Miss Giant Lady."
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"No, please."
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"they'll know I'm lying."
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"Oh, come on. Everybody needs something."
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"We dance a little. We go to a party. Eh?"
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"Big gal like you like parties?"
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"I guess."
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"Then we will have you walking out of here with 20/20, my friend."
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"[gasps] I'll be able to see out of it?"
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"I thought you were just gonna give me a hunk of glass."
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"That would've been the easy way out, huh?"
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"But I'm going back to dinner. I'm so hungry."
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"[sighs]"
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"And what you got are serious problems in the face and body areas."
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"- Fine. - You need an attitude that matches you."
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"Chicks love pathetic."
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"I don't know. I'm not good at anything."
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"Ew. Look at that gross, crying pig. I have no interest in it."
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"Me neither. Twinsies."
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"Get outta here!"
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"Oh, my God. Cute cat."
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"I know. So much swagger, right? He's, like, ugly-sexy."
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"Oh, yeah. Totes. Like your dad."
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"What?"
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"Hello, there."
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"Perhaps I'll see you in the dining room, then?"
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"[Elfo] I can't make an eye. I can't even find one."
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"I've looked all over this stupid castle. There's nothing. I need help."
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"What are you coming to me for? We don't got that kind of relationship."
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"Oh, I'm desperate. Please, I'll do anything."
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"[groans] My knees are full of splinters."
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"Did I say I wanted a talking horse? [grunts]"
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"I've been messing with this for a couple days."
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"- Might point you in the right direction. - [clears throat] Hi, I'm Elfo."
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"Is there anything around here I can use to replace a giant's eye?"
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"[crystal ball buzzes]"
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"[gasps] Weapons? You people have got to stop."
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"I'm not dangerous."
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"Bring in the hot tar!"
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"[all clapping and exclaiming]"
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"She oozes grace and a shiny trail wherever she goes."
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"He ate all the shrimp before you got here."
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"- It's Queen Oona and King Zog. - [guests clapping]"
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"But you're already... All right."
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"You said to act pathetic to these women. Then you swept in and stole them."
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"I know. Some of my best work."
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"I thought we were friends."
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"All I wanted to do was dance in the arms of someone beautiful,"
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"This has been our last adventure."
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"Oh, man, I actually feel kind of bad."
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"Do you need to be alone?"
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"Oh, no, I need to be comforted."
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"Maybe a little behind the ears."
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"Brace yourselves for the inevitable visualizations."
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"Huh, weird."
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"May not be seeing well, but it is looking good."
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"Just gotta straighten it out here."
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"More than everything. I see the truth."
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"What can I say? I'm attracted to people who are good at their job."
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"but you have a hidden rage inside you that no one else can see."
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"You only keep Elfo around for his blood."
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"[laughs] You have got to be..."
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"Yes, I was the handsomest prince in all the land."
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"He's not lying. He really believes that."
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"Here's the truth."
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"No, no, no, wait, please."
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"Let me do it."
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"Bean, I should've confessed this a long time ago, but I was too ashamed."
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"Oh, um, well, I wasn't gonna say that at all."
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"[chuckles] I mean, a deal's a deal. Yikes."
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"and you were there and... Oh, drugs are bad."
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"Oh, all right. Hey, everybody calm down."
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"We don't want to upset the nice big lady, huh?"
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"You don't think I'm nice. None of you do."
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"You all think I'm a big scary monster who's gonna go on a rampage."
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"Giants haven't been on a rampage since the '80s."
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"And even then, it was one guy."
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"It was just Bob."
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"But I guess we'll just always be ugly beasts to you."
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"Well, fine. Think I'm ugly all you want."
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"I've come to slay the mean lady who threw me off a cliff and ate my horse."
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"What?"
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"I've got this."
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"This validates my bigotry!"
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"She's been a burden on the pantry. Kill her."
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"Monsters are afraid of fire. We've got her cornered."
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"[guests scream]"
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