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Clips from Disenchantment (2018) - Love's Tender Rampage (S01E01)

"Wow, you're trapped in a pretty sad life."
Disenchantment (2018)
"No, we don't have time."
Disenchantment (2018)
"We're trapped."
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"No, we're not."
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"Now, Tess, I know you're not a monster."
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"But I'm gonna need you to jump up and down. Like a monster."
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"That was implied, right?"
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"Whoa. Are you the 9:30 bus to Twinkletown?"
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"- Where'd she go? - Which one's the giant?"
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"[man] That green guy's freaking me out."
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"[all mumbling indistinctly]"
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"Well, you helped me out of here, so I guess it's cool."
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"- It is? - No! You're a dick."
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"None of this would've happened if you'd just told the truth."
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"Take me with you. These savages don't deserve us."
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"- Come on, cutie. - Really?"
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"I was a gorgeous nobleman before I became a pig."
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"[squeals]"
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"I lied because I was too insecure to admit I tried to kiss you."
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"But you don't have to worry. I won't try anything like that again."
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"[chuckles] Yeah, right."
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"[theme music playing]"
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"Drink the fairy! Drink the fairy!"
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"So tragically small."
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"[torch ignites]"
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"We can, Bean. There's nothing in our way, except this arm."
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"I think it's sweet you wanted to kiss me, but I'm just..."
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"She's not a mystery, but she's definitely a girl. Friend."
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"I know what she looks like."
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"[Bean] A drug door."
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"Great practice, men."
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"It was fun stabbing all those iguanas in that box."
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"and I'd risk their lives on it."
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"Now, will you shut up down there? I'm trying to sleep."
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"[knights] Yes, sir!"
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"♪ Found out how The Valley of Scorpions got its name ♪"
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"[screams]"
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"We ain't having no giant rampage in here."
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"Oh, goody. Another one."
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"- Absolute... - No, thanks. I'm good."
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"Pretty rose for the pretty... [screams]"
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"No flower could have a stench as beautiful as yours, honey."
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"[sneezes]"
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"My name is Tess. Ugh, I'm outta here."
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"Money means nothing to me."
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"You're sad and hideous. Play it up."
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"Like that?"
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"Sad..."
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"[squeals]"
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"You're already beautiful. We're just gonna highlight a few things."
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"- [fox growling] - [birds chirping]"
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"[chuckling]"
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"The Adventures of Cat and Pig. That's what I've been calling us."
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"and you took that away."
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"[exclaiming]"
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"What the hell?"
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"And now for Elfo..."
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"Tess was never my girlfriend."
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"You were lying? But my mystical vision."
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"Oh, God."
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"Want me to go back and step on your dad?"
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"God!"
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"You and I are two of a kind."
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"[sighs] Yeah. Her family's all dead, by the way,"
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"Think you can make a bed outta one of these cheeses?"
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"Yeah, I don't want to brag,"
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"I can't believe you all put me through this"
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"An eye. Your eye is missing!"
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"- [instrumental music playing] - [indistinct chatter]"
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"You scoundrel."
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"I can see out of it. I can see everything."
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"I also had this profound realization."
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"[bugle blaring]"
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"So tragically young."
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"[all inhale]"
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"You knew that was there the whole time?"
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"but at the same time, you're being looked at by me."
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"[jester] Oh, no."
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"Tess, I'm so sorry about everything."
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"Well, good stuff. We should get you two outta here."
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"[Elfo inhales]"
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"- Don't try to be my friend. - You betcha."
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"[yelling]"
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"[Tess grunts]"
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"[sighs]"
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"Get ready to have your minds blown."
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"[oxen bellowing]"
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"Quick! This way."
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"Was she gonna say "before they light it on fire"?"
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"She's my girlfriend."
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"That's just real sticky coming from a friend."
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"[man] ♪ We're going on a mission To help our friend Elfo ♪"
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"Let's get scones."
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"[Elfo slurping]"
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"Pardon my curiosity,"
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"[Elfo grunts and chuckles]"
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"But, no. No, not for this guy."
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"and see if there's any attractive singles in our area waiting to talk to you."
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"Oh, you know what? I think I already knew that."
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"One... two..."
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"I should have just told you the truth."
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"Why would I do you any favors?"
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"Bean, did... did you just kiss me?"
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"[man] Hey!"
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"What the..."
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"[Bean and Elfo grunting]"
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"Yeah, saw it on the way down."
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"'Cause it seemed like..."
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"Okay, take it easy. I have a girlfriend,"
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"Let me help you out. She's from a faraway land. We wouldn't know it."
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"[blows landing rhythmically]"
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"I don't know, man. There's something to that vision I had."
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"- Just a moment. - [grunts]"
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"- And by we, I mean them. - Ya!"
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"and I am not letting him stand on my feet again."
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"[groans] Can we have one dinner where we're not watching Jester?"
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"[growls]"
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"But now I'm a pig, and my life's a mess."
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"You could eat a horse?"
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"Eh, we gave it a shot."
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