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Clips from Letterkenny - Wingman Wayne (S01E01)

"Either way, whole unit's more cauliflowered than a UFC fighter's ear."
Letterkenny
"Love the hustle! Look at that hustle, eh?"
Letterkenny
"Well, piece of shit..."
Letterkenny
"TEAMMATE 1: Holy fuck, boys."
Letterkenny
"Who's billet sister's a fuckin' rocket?"
Letterkenny
"I got a fucking rocket in my pants, right now."
Letterkenny
"TEAMMATE 2: Hey, dibs on digis, boys."
Letterkenny
"No, I dibs'd her in warm up,"
Letterkenny
"TEAMMATE 2: A dibs is a dibs is a dibs, buddy. Who gives a shit."
Letterkenny
"If a dibs falls in the forest"
Letterkenny
"and there's no one around to hear it, is it still a dibs?"
Letterkenny
"Wake up, you mutants."
Letterkenny
"You're missing out on all the girls"
Letterkenny
"who do not want to have sex with you."
Letterkenny
"Awfully pedestrian effort from our boys tonight, Katy."
Letterkenny
"He spent some time in the bathroom"
Letterkenny
"who had such a butt on her."
Letterkenny
"I took one look at it and I thought, "Jesus Christ, woman,"
Letterkenny
"Attaboy!"
Letterkenny
"Boys!"
Letterkenny
"Two fights."
Letterkenny
"Hockey players have the nicest asses."
Letterkenny
"Okay, we don't want you coming anymore."
Letterkenny
"What? Uh..."
Letterkenny
"It's too distracting."
Letterkenny
"For the boys."
Letterkenny
"KATY: Yeah, no, I heard you."
Letterkenny
"Okay."
Letterkenny
"Well, guess I'll have to find one of your teammates"
Letterkenny
"to dibs my digits."
Letterkenny
"BOTH: But we dibs'd those digis!"
Letterkenny
"Thank you, Gail."
Letterkenny
"You've got the pick of the litter around here"
Letterkenny
"I've got this fifty bucks and no one to claim it."
Letterkenny
"No."
Letterkenny
"Like what's in your jeans, big fella? Nothin'..."
Letterkenny
"I mean it. Cripes, I may not go down in history,"
Letterkenny
"Okay. (CHUCKLING) You want to do 68?"
Letterkenny
"I'll help you clean up. You'll go down on me?"
Letterkenny
"And I'll owe you one."
Letterkenny
"'Cause I go straight to your ass, cowboy."
Letterkenny
"There's cake?"
Letterkenny
"(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)"
Letterkenny
"In."
Letterkenny
"(SPITS) Who fuckin' cares."
Letterkenny
"Makes no fuckin' sense, buddy."
Letterkenny
"It'd be pretty sick to see Katy up there again."
Letterkenny
"Don't set the bar too high, mutant."
Letterkenny
"(RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO) REILLY: Ten losses in a row, bro."
Letterkenny
"He's out four to six."
Letterkenny
"Is that why they always play and you guys never do?"
Letterkenny
"You guys don't give a shit about winning."
Letterkenny
"So what are we gonna do?"
Letterkenny
"DARYL: I think you mean, "Cut off his balls.""
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: Well, with the whole Pluto debate."
Letterkenny
"You know, he's a decent dude."
Letterkenny
"She's a one‐shot Sally."
Letterkenny
"The Ginger fucked an ostrich."
Letterkenny
"When a gal's sweet on a guy,"
Letterkenny
"and she wants to get his attention,"
Letterkenny
"Just, not just yet. Maybe after a couple."
Letterkenny
"JONESY: Okay, bro, workout program. (WATER RUNNING)"
Letterkenny
"He also had an imperial purple..."
Letterkenny
"Oh, I'm just sayin' it must suck balls"
Letterkenny
"She's like a Middle Eastern rebel army."
Letterkenny
"Thank you."
Letterkenny
"so they cancel each other out."
Letterkenny
"Ninja dust."
Letterkenny
"Grab a knee boys."
Letterkenny
"Really working those fast‐twitch muscle fibers, buddy."
Letterkenny
"REILLY: (EXHALES) So?"
Letterkenny
"Um... Do you know where the washroom is?"
Letterkenny
"Is that what she was doing?"
Letterkenny
""Do you know where the washroom is?""
Letterkenny
"It's about time one of you showed some finish."
Letterkenny
"Yeah."
Letterkenny
"Ruptured the hydrocele."
Letterkenny
"TEAMMATE 1: Already dibs'd digits, buddy."
Letterkenny
"(THUDDING)"
Letterkenny
"Sniper. Snipe!"
Letterkenny
"KATY: Gotta say, I had a fucking hoot at the game."
Letterkenny
"Mmm‐hmm."
Letterkenny
"but I'll go down on you."
Letterkenny
"Fuck, you've been to Winners lately?"
Letterkenny
"REILLY: Like where the fuck Schultzy been out there?"
Letterkenny
"Have an eye for the fertility, boys."
Letterkenny
"GAIL: What?"
Letterkenny
"Wayne, she's still giving you the big eyes."
Letterkenny
"but I guess there's a lot worse things"
Letterkenny
"TEAMMATE 2: She's a fuckin' rocket."
Letterkenny
"Well, fuck, yeah, buddy!"
Letterkenny
"Give your balls a tug, you tit fucker!"
Letterkenny
"Nice flow, you fuckin' donkey. Take a lap."
Letterkenny
"Well, it would take two guys to fuck an ostrich. Three even."
Letterkenny
"I said decent."
Letterkenny
"Not seeing a whole lot of special teams time, buddy."
Letterkenny
"Sniper."
Letterkenny
"and see what else is hangin' around in there while we're at it?"
Letterkenny
"Yup. By all means, ladies. Express yourselves."
Letterkenny
"Nice, nice penalty kill, boys."
Letterkenny
"How come you don't watch us play anymore?"
Letterkenny
"You really hit your target heart rate with vigorous intensity."
Letterkenny
"Where's that rag? There it is."
Letterkenny
"Too distracting for the boys."
Letterkenny
"That's your next sweetie right there."
Letterkenny
"Wake up, big shoots and really big shoots."
Letterkenny
"Wheel, snipe, celly, boys!"
Letterkenny
"He did all right. Didn't you, Wayne?"
Letterkenny
"You did a decent job with these d‐gens tonight."
Letterkenny
"so you may as well get pickin'."
Letterkenny
"REILLY: Ever wonder why Katy doesn't come"
Letterkenny
"Make sure your game is tight or you'll be home firing wristers."
Letterkenny
"Well, yeah, I think I would like to touch it."
Letterkenny
"Muscle atrophy!"
Letterkenny
"Who the fuck you dibs 'em to?"
Letterkenny
"No discount on bar tabs tonight, Chester and Charlie!"
Letterkenny
"with a little blonde spinner"
Letterkenny
"I'll tell you what and I'll only tell you once."
Letterkenny
"DAN: That's when you cut off her balls."
Letterkenny
"What was your problem, big shoots?"
Letterkenny
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