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Clips from Letterkenny - Wingman Wayne (S01E01)

"Oh."
Letterkenny
"It was either that or be at home flickin' it"
Letterkenny
"to Grapefruit League baseball highlights."
Letterkenny
"You know they're all gonna be in here lookin'"
Letterkenny
"for a bit of "How's your father?""
Letterkenny
"Firing what?"
Letterkenny
"Oh."
Letterkenny
"What say we make this interesting."
Letterkenny
"Whichever one of you grabs a tail first"
Letterkenny
"gets 50 bucks off their bar tab."
Letterkenny
"That is a Texas sized 10‐4."
Letterkenny
"No, you two get after it."
Letterkenny
"Here's a tip."
Letterkenny
"When the gettin's good around here, stay close to your pal Wayne."
Letterkenny
"Kid's got more spunk than a hotel room hand towel."
Letterkenny
"Well, here's a tip. Don't fart in a spacesuit."
Letterkenny
"Here's a tip. Don't sneeze when you're taking a piss."
Letterkenny
"Here's a tip. It's really hard to get tuna out of your dick hole."
Letterkenny
"This place is about to be crawling with snapper."
Letterkenny
"Let's hope this is the last night"
Letterkenny
"You naturally prefer companionship,"
Letterkenny
"REILLY: Wearing number 22 for the Tackville Tornados..."
Letterkenny
"Dig deep, bare down, you fuckin' hero."
Letterkenny
"You're my fuckin' hero, two‐two."
Letterkenny
"What the fuck are you lookin' at, twos, huh?"
Letterkenny
"You lookin' at my cock, you fuckin' sally?"
Letterkenny
"Mix in some class, you fuckin' cock looker!"
Letterkenny
"You're a fuckin' cock looker, two‐two!"
Letterkenny
"Hey, shut the fuck up."
Letterkenny
"You're a fuckin' hero, twos. (WHISTLE BLOWS)"
Letterkenny
"Fuckin' suck at hockey, two‐two!"
Letterkenny
"watch us play anymore, bud?"
Letterkenny
"Just fuckin' stud army born to go silky shelf."
Letterkenny
"Just chuckin' mitts and suckin' tits. (SPITS)"
Letterkenny
"Tossin' mitties, suckin' titties."
Letterkenny
"Just look at the snipers up there."
Letterkenny
"Here to support the boys."
Letterkenny
"Must be nice Ferda."
Letterkenny
"So sick."
Letterkenny
"Atta be sures, eh?"
Letterkenny
"First thirsty Thursday of the season, boys."
Letterkenny
"Boy, I'm gonna tell ya that's what I'm gonna do, holy fuck."
Letterkenny
"Bear in mind there is no wrong answer to this question."
Letterkenny
"I'm gonna be posting up and looking for love,"
Letterkenny
"and I don't care who knows it."
Letterkenny
"That's fair."
Letterkenny
"KATY: You guys going to be wearing belts?"
Letterkenny
"Hard no."
Letterkenny
"'Cause we buy pants that fucking fit."
Letterkenny
"Why would I buy a piece of leather that costs $25,"
Letterkenny
"Fucking $25,"
Letterkenny
"you're lucky to have a $25 bill."
Letterkenny
"You're talking about $35, $45."
Letterkenny
"Winners. Slow down there, Mr. Rocketfeller."
Letterkenny
"$25 could get you at least five belts."
Letterkenny
"Plus, a commemorative belt buckle says, "Jesus holds up my pants.""
Letterkenny
"For Sunday morning."
Letterkenny
"Boy, howdy."
Letterkenny
"JONESY: Two's a streak, bro."
Letterkenny
"Soupy's a plug."
Letterkenny
"Cartsy. Burnsy."
Letterkenny
"Deetzy. Brooksy."
Letterkenny
"Brooksy's got a hern‐dog. Seri‐dog?"
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"He's having off‐season surgery for a sports hern‐dog."
Letterkenny
"Where's Coopsy been? Playing like poopsy."
Letterkenny
"And Ryan Poo‐gent Hopkins."
Letterkenny
"The brothers Miko and Saku Koi‐poo."
Letterkenny
"REILLY: Joke, bro. JONESY: It's embarrassing."
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"Katy!"
Letterkenny
"'Cause you're dog shit."
Letterkenny
"But we're pretty good."
Letterkenny
"I mean, we wanna score goals, but we'd just end up killing them boys."
Letterkenny
"Mmm‐hmm."
Letterkenny
"Would you come watch if we play a regular shift?"
Letterkenny
"Duh. The fuck else am I going to do around here?"
Letterkenny
"Time to set up a meeting with the Coach."
Letterkenny
"Buh‐doo!"
Letterkenny
"Mix in some big minutes for a couple stick and pucksters."
Letterkenny
"You just like the hockey player lifestyle. You are posers."
Letterkenny
"COACH: You need to get in shape!"
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"Study the tape!"
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"Play with some intensity!"
Letterkenny
"So basically what you are saying is..."
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"We're at this level."
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"But we've got to get to this level."
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"(CLAPS HANDS) Done!"
Letterkenny
"You're a fucking beauty."
Letterkenny
"Registered beautician."
Letterkenny
"What do you guys think of the program?"
Letterkenny
"Well... Uh..."
Letterkenny
"Just kidding, I don't give a fuck."
Letterkenny
"That's a little gutty. Fuck."
Letterkenny
"(BOTH SPIT)"
Letterkenny
"(INDISTINCT TALKING)"
Letterkenny
"Cut off her balls? Correct."
Letterkenny
"Oh, no? Oh, yes."
Letterkenny
"That is why you never give a sword to a hooker."
Letterkenny
"Hey, Wayne. How many planets are there?"
Letterkenny
"Give or take, eight planets."
Letterkenny
"There'll only be seven after I destroy Uranus."
Letterkenny
"Buy you a drink? Okay."
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: Who? Kyle Schneidstiller's sister?"
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"That's Kyle Schneidstiller's little sister."
Letterkenny
"She's been knocked‐up twice."
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: Also..."
Letterkenny
"She dated Boots for a little while before he went to jail."
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"No..."
Letterkenny
"Allegedly."
Letterkenny
"It would take more than one guy to fuck an ostrich."
Letterkenny
"that it was a sick ostrich."
Letterkenny
"Again,"
Letterkenny
"we're hearing it was a sick ostrich."
Letterkenny
"Still, it's a three‐man job to fuck one."
Letterkenny
"Was that before or after he dated Kyle Schneidstiller's sister?"
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: Oh, we have an eye."
Letterkenny
"Is that what she is?"
Letterkenny
"Go talk to her."
Letterkenny
"You see what she's doing with her hair?"
Letterkenny
"she just starts fucking with her hair whole bunch."
Letterkenny
"What for?"
Letterkenny
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