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Clips from Friends - The One with the Soap Opera Party (S09E09)

"Hey, you guys? What are you doing tomorrow night?"
Friends
"Oh, well, let me see. l believe l'm...."
Friends
"Well, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play."
Friends
"Why Don't You Like Me? A Bitter Woman's Journey Through Life."
Friends
"To listen to a woman complain for two hours. l don't think it gets bet--"
Friends
"...that l have to be at work really early the next day, so l can't go."
Friends
"Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around..."
Friends
"Maybe."
Friends
"-You can't. -Why?"
Friends
"Okay, seriously, did not understand a word you just said."
Friends
"Yes, but, Ross, you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs."
Friends
"What's so bad about that?"
Friends
"l just know they'll be a couple of old windbags..."
Friends
"What? These aren't suede."
Friends
"You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?"
Friends
"Oh, hi. l'm Professor Wheeler."
Friends
"Oh, that's-- That's-- That's nice."
Friends
"lt's good to meet you."
Friends
"Thank you so much for taking the time to show me around."
Friends
"lf l weren't doing this, l'd just, you know, be at the gym working out."
Friends
"l think we're just blurry shapes to him now."
Friends
"An option that many of my students use."
Friends
"-Professor Geller? -Oh, damn it!"
Friends
"-You know me, work comes first. -Oh, yeah, yeah."
Friends
"l'm kind of having a thing for the Days of Our Lives people."
Friends
"God, l'm stupider than Jan Rogers!"
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"l can't believe you guys went for that one."
Friends
"Joey, come on! Please, please? Let me come. l will behave. l promise."
Friends
"And then my wife and l went on a cruise to the Galápagos."
Friends
"...about the different types of animal dander l'm allergic to."
Friends
"-Let's ditch him. -What?"
Friends
"While he's still in the bathroom. l am begging you."
Friends
"Thanks for spending so much time with me."
Friends
"Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica."
Friends
"-Hi. -Charlie will be joining my department."
Friends
"-You're a paleontologist too? -Yeah."
Friends
"Well, l think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas."
Friends
"Oh, l'm sorry. l have to take this. Excuse me."
Friends
"So did you two have fun?"
Friends
"Oh, my God. She's great."
Friends
"And l don't know if you've noticed, but she's a hottie!"
Friends
"...that only affects chickens and other poultry."
Friends
"Hi. Well, l would shake your hand..."
Friends
"You're not sick."
Friends
"When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better."
Friends
"Joey is having a secret Days of Our Lives party up on the roof."
Friends
"He does it every year. That's why he's sending you to the play."
Friends
"No, l arranged that."
Friends
"-What party? -The game's over. Take off your robe."
Friends
"Okay, l mean...."
Friends
"Nice to meet you."
Friends
"Hey, you made it! All right!"
Friends
"-Oh, my God. Kyle Lowder! -Hi."
Friends
"Oh, yeah, that's what you want. My inhibitions lowered."
Friends
"Oh, my God, can you believe we're surrounded by all this?"
Friends
"l can barely control myself."
Friends
"Where the hell is everybody?"
Friends
"Oh, man! lf l had known l was coming to this party..."
Friends
"-Call me. -We will!"
Friends
"Please. Chandler's the love of my life."
Friends
"So do you get to go to things like this often?"
Friends
"l mean, one night you're at a rooftop party filled with soap stars..."
Friends
"Who am l kidding, this is so cool."
Friends
"Oh, so sad."
Friends
"Especially after working with a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer."
Friends
"And you called him ''Albie''?"
Friends
"Albie."
Friends
"l'm sorry. l don't mean to pry. lt's just that this must be..."
Friends
"...what regular people experience when they watch Access Hollywood."
Friends
"Okay, you want the dirt?"
Friends
"Yeah, for three years."
Friends
"Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize?"
Friends
"No, but he did just win the MacArthur ''genius grant.''"
Friends
"Oh, great. After l finish my wine..."
Friends
"What's the matter?"
Friends
"...l put chopsticks in my mouth and pretended to be a woolly mammoth."
Friends
"-Worse? -Oh, much, much worse."
Friends
"lt's good!"
Friends
"Now, Chapter 7: Divorce is a Four-Letter Word!"
Friends
"Don't worry, Joe. l won't come next year!"
Friends
"What the--?"
Friends
"Let me see if l approve of any of these clowns."
Friends
"-This guy wears a rug. -Well...."
Friends
"lt'll cost you $5000 to get to level three, and l don't feel any different."
Friends
"Joey, you're so sweet."
Friends
"lt's true, but it doesn't matter. l already know who you're going home with."
Friends
"Right! That's funny! l get it!"
Friends
"So how did you enjoy the play?"
Friends
"Fat, Single and Ready to Mingle..."
Friends
"...l was uplifted."
Friends
"-Oh, really? -Oh, yeah."
Friends
"l had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman."
Friends
"Tell me-- Tell me about your first period."
Friends
"No!"
Friends
"So l got it when l was 1 3. Very difficult."
Friends
"What is that? Come on, a piece of paper?"
Friends
"Although the last two papers l've written were widely discredited."
Friends
"Yeah. Yeah. You're right."
Friends
"No! You can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea."
Friends
"Please! What about you and Chandler?"
Friends
"That's different. l was drunk and stupid."
Friends
"l'm gonna do it."
Friends
"-And l can't stop you? -No."
Friends
"l'm smarter than him!"
Friends
"Why Don't You Like Me?"
Friends
"Yes, falling asleep in front of the TV."
Friends
"l could fall asleep at a play."
Friends
"-What is it? -lt's a one-woman play called:"
Friends
"-That sounds interesting. -That does sound interesting."
Friends
"l know! l know. We can drive. We can vote. We can work."
Friends
"What more do these broads want?"
Friends
"Well, you guys will have a great time. l promise."
Friends
"But take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want."
Friends
"Let's see. Who do l hate?"
Friends
"Oh, sorry."
Friends
"-Oops, sorry. -Okay."
Friends
"-Okay. -Okay. Up we go."
Friends
"Can l ask you a question?"
Friends
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