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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Separation Oscillation (S09E09)

"Well, if you want to see less of me,"
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"maybe we should go out again."
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"I can't believe you made out with Mandy Chao."
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"Trust me, I wish it never happened."
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"And you knew about this this whole time?"
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"I did."
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"And you didn't think to tell me?"
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"Leonard asked me to keep it to myself."
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"Let's leave Leonard out of this for the moment."
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"Wait, wait, wait, how is my day-old marriage falling apart"
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"becoming about you two?"
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"Hang on."
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"try having two."
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"I bet you told Bernadette"
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"all about he was screwing around with Mandy Chao."
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"Oh, we didn't screw around."
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"We just got drunk and made out."
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"Whatever. It would have been nice to hear it from you."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"That's what people who've broken up do."
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"And you didn't do your compulsive knocking ritual"
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"so I would open the door."
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"On the contrary,"
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"you no longer get to enjoy my charming eccentricities."
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"We're not friends with benefits."
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"Just give me the box."
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"W-Wait. Don't you want to go through it"
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"to make sure I haven't forgotten anything?"
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"Fine."
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"My old scarf."
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"You wore it the night we went ice-skating. Remember?"
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"You mean the night that I went ice-skating,"
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"and you stood at the rail"
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"Googling the symptoms of hypothermia?"
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"We made one heck of a team, huh?"
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"Whose bra is this?"
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"It's not yours?"
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"Oh, my."
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"How embarrassing for both of us."
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"It's Penny's."
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"Hey, you broke up with me."
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"It is none of your business"
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"Good-bye."
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"Amy."
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"Amy. Amy."
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"Hmm. Tables work, too."
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"Good to know."
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"Hands off. I'm mad at you."
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"Look, I know it's a lot of money,"
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"but the guy at the store said"
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"in five to seven years, it'll pay for itself."
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"What will pay for itself?"
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"Doesn't matter. What are you mad about?"
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"what Leonard did on the North Sea,"
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"and I'm mad that I've had to hide this"
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"from Penny for two years."
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"And you have every right to be mad about those things."
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"So, why don't you let me"
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"handle the credit card bill this month, huh?"
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"I mean, if Penny finds out I've known all this time"
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"she's gonna think I'm a terrible friend."
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"I wish you never told me."
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"And I wish Leonard never told me."
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"He's the bad guy here."
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"Compared to that, who cares if I bought"
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"a George Clooney limited edition manscaping kit?"
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"Hi. I'm calling about your marriage counseling services"
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"and was curious what your rate is."
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"Really?"
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"Um, okay."
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"Is there any kind of discount for length of marriage?"
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"'Cause we're just talking hours here."
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"Hi. Call you back."
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"All right, look,"
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"I hate that we're going through this,"
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"but I don't know what to do."
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"If you don't mind waiting for a Groupon,"
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"we can try marriage counseling."
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"Hello."
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"Hey, uh, buddy,"
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"can we have some privacy?"
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"Oh, of course."
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"Wouldn't want to intrude."
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"This is yours."
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"I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it."
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"Okay, look, I might be overreacting,"
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"but how am I supposed to get past this"
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"when I know tomorrow you're gonna go to work"
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"and see this woman?"
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"but as I see it, there's a simple solution."
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"Bring Penny to meet Mandy."
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"What? Why?"
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"Well, right now, Penny's imagination is running wild,"
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"but if they meet, that will eliminate"
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"the mystery and alleviate her fears."
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"Like when that Sparkletts guy let me look under his eye patch."
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"Uh, first of all, you made that guy cry."
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"And we learned that you don't need an eyeball to do that."
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"Secondly, I can't think of a more horrible idea"
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"than Penny meeting Mandy."
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"Really? Why is that?"
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"What, you actually want to meet her?"
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"No, but now that you're being weird about it,"
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"maybe I should."
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"I'm not being weird."
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"Am I being weird?"
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"Yes."
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"And that's coming from me."
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"Fine, you want to meet her?"
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"No, I just want to know that when you're at work,"
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"there's nothing going on."
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"How many times do I have to tell you?"
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"I have no interest in this woman."
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"In Leonard?"
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"I guess my big problem is I never saw Leonard"
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"as the kind of guy who would do something like this."
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"Anybody can make a mistake in a weak moment."
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"Oh, I don't know what to think."
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"You know, I fell in love with Leonard"
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"because he wasn't anything like the guys"
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