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Clips from Veep - Helsinki (S02E02)

"Your Secret Service look about as tough as mine."
Veep
"Shall we get them to fight?"
Veep
"Although, seeing as these cigarettes are the thing"
Veep
"that's most likely going to kill me,"
Veep
"- He grabbed it. - What?"
Veep
"I'm the Vice President of the United States of America."
Veep
"He just squeezed my tit like a balloon."
Veep
"- Mm-mmm. - Mm-hmm."
Veep
"Are you quite feeling all right? You're very pale."
Veep
"Perhaps you should go to the courtyard, get some fresh air."
Veep
"This is Erkki."
Veep
"He is our head of economic development."
Veep
"Neither of them is worth hearing."
Veep
"Just a major violation of a border."
Veep
"You get this in a text?"
Veep
"The only text I get is from my husband"
Veep
"saying I am being late home again."
Veep
"- Might want to... - Yeah."
Veep
"- Did you see? - Oh, my God. How could you not?"
Veep
"- Did you see this? - Yes. Yes."
Veep
"I'm gonna get you some water. He looks like a Disney villain."
Veep
"I always do. That's my look."
Veep
"Did Gary just text you?"
Veep
"- Gary knows? - Yeah."
Veep
"We're talking about..."
Veep
"- POTUS lying about the spy. - Osmo groped me."
Veep
"- What? - What?"
Veep
"- Did you tell her? - He... he..."
Veep
"he told me those rumors weren't true."
Veep
"Can you believe that monster?"
Veep
"- Wait, wait, wait. What happened? - What did you say?"
Veep
"POTUS wouldn't have the balls to grope me."
Veep
"He knew and he lied?"
Veep
"Wait, wait, knew what? Lied about what?"
Veep
"and didn't inform the Congressional Intel Committee."
Veep
"Osmo groped me."
Veep
"We need to rain down the full might"
Veep
"We're gonna blow up Finland."
Veep
"Can I help you? Where the fuck you been?"
Veep
"I bet when you take a crap, it actually comes out as a number two."
Veep
"that he has to admit that this student was a spy."
Veep
"I'm still collating whether admitting is the best course."
Veep
"I can't believe you're still checking the fucking wind direction."
Veep
"I need more time before the truth can emerge in such a..."
Veep
"Congressman Furlong."
Veep
"Everybody's talking about it up on the Hill."
Veep
"I don't know what you think you know."
Veep
"Everybody's gonna know. That's just the way these things go."
Veep
"Sorry, Kent, I just had a quick question about..."
Veep
"Oh, do they know? Laurel and Retardy?"
Veep
"Tell you what, Mike. I need you to add these summaries"
Veep
"to the rollout overview. Okay? Go."
Veep
"- Senator Doyle. - Gentlemen, gentlemen."
Veep
"Well, I hope I get my five free punches."
Veep
"which means that I'm supposed to be informed of any covert action."
Veep
"We're all on the same team here, right?"
Veep
"Right, Team Fuckup. Yeah, I got my membership card here somewhere."
Veep
"Oh, I've seen the bigger picture."
Veep
"Shows POTUS lying to the American people."
Veep
"Yeah, not the good ones. Not "Platoon.""
Veep
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Kent?"
Veep
"Seriously, when you pulled the pin out, you're supposed to throw the grenade away."
Veep
"You don't stick it up your own freakin' ass."
Veep
"That I'd like to see."
Veep
"- I need a cigarette. - Oh, God."
Veep
"The president, the one I support,"
Veep
"the one that I am loyal to"
Veep
"- Right? - Mm-hmm."
Veep
"I started to put meet-the-people events back in your schedule."
Veep
"What are you bitching about? Are you kidding?"
Veep
"I'm the one who's under pressure. Get it together, lady."
Veep
"Or a sexual Cuban Missile Crisis at the least."
Veep
"It's not like we can go public about the grope."
Veep
"- It would define you. - Right."
Veep
"Your tit being fondled by a Finn"
Veep
"would be all you're remembered for."
Veep
"- All right? Especially Kent. - Oh, yeah."
Veep
"And why is that? Because he's gonna use it against me."
Veep
"- A grope matrix. - Right."
Veep
"Because of the axis of dick."
Veep
"This fish is delicious."
Veep
"- What is this fish? - It is chicken."
Veep
"- The breast? - Yes."
Veep
"In America we actually call fish chicken of the sea."
Veep
"Some men do not like the taste."
Veep
"I'm the VP's bag man,"
Veep
"which I believe in Finland you say kassi."
Veep
"Where did you get this translation from?"
Veep
"I have a Finnish friend in DC who works at the embassy"
Veep
"and she gave me lessons before I came."
Veep
"You see, kassi is bag,"
Veep
"but it's not bag man."
Veep
"It is a man bag. You know, rrr."
Veep
"It is a container."
Veep
"It is a testicle container."
Veep
"Oh, no. Don't feel ashamed, Gary."
Veep
"Because, of course, you're not a ball sack."
Veep
"excuse me, I'm so sorry..."
Veep
"a ball sack."
Veep
"Kent wants me to add these regional summaries"
Veep
"Command A, hombre."
Veep
"Shit, maybe it was control A."
Veep
"I think you might have selected all"
Veep
"and sent everything that was on that thumb drive."
Veep
"- That's what you told me to do. - No, I didn't."
Veep
"- You said command A. - No, I said control A."
Veep
"You just couldn't hear me because you didn't have your ear trumpet."
Veep
"Why would you burn that, Mike?"
Veep
"What's up?"
Veep
"We just sent out Kent's polling consultation on the spy."
Veep
"What spy?"
Veep
"Oh, fuck you, Mike."
Veep
"You're career poison. Do you know that?"
Veep
"Jesus, that's why you like sailing, because you're a fucking anchor"
Veep
"Stop it. This was just phase one stuff."
Veep
"Sample questions like, "What if the president lied?""
Veep
"It was more coded, which still is bad."
Veep
"Yeah."
Veep
"I mean, it would have gotten out anyway, right?"
Veep
"- Um... - This is the Internet age."
Veep
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