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Clips from South Park - Cash for Gold (S16E16)

"What are you waiting for? Kill yourself."
South Park
"Ever since that kid called up,"
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"He was right. Do it."
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"Every time you call and tell me to kill myself,"
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"it's costing us"
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"Goddamn it, I'm not scared to do it."
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"You got lady balls."
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"Hello."
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"I'm calling about the peridot earrings."
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"Yes, ma'am."
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"They'd look good on your dead body."
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"Why don't you kill yourself?"
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"That third's..."
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"Put it against your temple and pull the trigger."
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"What!"
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"It's time for you to have something expensive and flashy"
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"He's trying to rook us. Let's go elsewhere."
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"You may suck our collective balls, sir."
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"You can test them."
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"Next item is..."
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"Let's get her on the line. Who am I speaking with?"
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"I'm an asshole for doing math?"
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"How about that, folks? That is Brazilian emerald."
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"We call it that to save you time."
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"What?"
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"Instead of taking all that time to say EZ Pay,"
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"Not wasting your time here. You can't afford not to buy this one."
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"Shelley's 13?"
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"Did I ever tell you I used to have a border collie named Patches?"
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"Yes, grandpa."
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"I loved that dog."
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"I can't remember what she looked like."
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"Now, all we need are some old people."
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"That's a lawsuit worth..."
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"I'll bring the lawsuit down to $2,939..."
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"$75.95."
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"$75.95, that's what the ring sold for. Do we have the buyer on the line?"
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"You bought this lovely 200-carat ring. How do you feel, Mrs.?"
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"This is Mrs. Applebee on 24 Palmark Lane."
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"I thought it'd be a lovely gift for my granddaughter, Jessica."
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"Do you have any idea what it'd feel like to start losing your memories?"
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"We aren't making that much."
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"- You're not? - Yell at who melt the gold down."
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"You got it all wrong."
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"I'm gonna need some necklaces, bracelets and earrings."
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"Wait a minute. How much do you pay for this stuff?"
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"I pay thousands. And you come here and fuck me."
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"Sorry."
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"Somebody is at the head of all this, and somebody needs to pay."
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"everybody wants to call and tell me I should kill myself."
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"You don't have the balls."
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"You're scared."
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"I got a gun right here. What do you think about that?"
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"I'm lost."
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"You got an $8-billion ring for $79.95."
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"So, I want the cash."
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"$8."
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"How much will you give me for this?"
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"How about a 13-carat panzotopanzanite ring?"
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"We're gonna sell this ring for just $3,795."
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"You are the scums of the earth."
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"You dirty double-crossing assholes!"
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"How much did you spend on that?"
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"on frivolous things."
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"This is the same bolo tie worn by King Henry V!"
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"I'll take it down a little. We'll drop that price to..."
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"You got good eye. You so clever."
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"It happens to be worth $6,000."
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"- You fuck me. - You fuck me!"
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"I'm looking to cut out the middle man."
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"Folks, this an 800 number."
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"Isn't that beautiful?"
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"Suck 'em dry"
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"My name is Vivian."
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"I'll give you $15."
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"$14 a gram on the open market, got about..."
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"Grandpa?"
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"An emerald on 14-carat gold."
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"I can't remember."
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"A 6-Layer Burrito?"
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"Just trying to leave without being rude."
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"How's that?"
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"Right."
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"Let me set stage for you here."
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"14-carat gold, 86-carat faux sapphire."
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"Next item."
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"Did we sell it?"
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"There she is."
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"Never been there."
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"actually dealt it."
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"I want to buy my jewelry direct from you..."
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"You try to cut me out?"
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"Sorry."
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"You walk by my store, and you say,"
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"Welcome. Welcome to discount jewelry store."
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"but I can't get enough crappy jewelry, so I'd like to buy some of yours."
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"No, dude, it's badass."
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"Every two blocks, you see a sign saying "cash for gold and jewelry.""
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"A lot of people are doing it."
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"I know."
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"I can't make anything on the diamonds."
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"I have to send it to a smelter, have it all smelter down for the gold."
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"It's not really worth my time."
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"These earrings normally go for $6 million."
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"Guys with Cash for Gold signs get you people's unwanted jewelry,"
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"Craig, what's going on?"
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"I could probably..."
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"Bebe, you have rhinestones. How about walking cash?"
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"We got a caller already on this one."
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"It doesn't matter what price you put on anything."
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"Do it."
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"We aren't the ones who denied you what your jewelry was really worth."
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"and you kickback in your mansions making billions."
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"Suck my balls"
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"How about that tanzanite bracelet for $995?"
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"- What you say? - I know."
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"So, we went to India, which is pretty cool, I guess."
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"We're not fucking you, they're fucking Stan's grandpa."
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"Thank you."
South Park
"All right, that's that."
South Park
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