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Clips from American Dad! - The Kidney Stays in the Picture (S07E07)

"- # Take you back # - # Yeah, yeah, yeah #"
American Dad!
"- George, what's the matter? - The alcohol."
American Dad!
"- I'm-I'm shuttin' down. - What?"
American Dad!
"Good-bye, Joe. I'll always remember that trip we took to the anus."
American Dad!
"No!"
American Dad!
"I can't make it alone!"
American Dad!
"My insides hurt."
American Dad!
"- What happened? - Oh, Stan."
American Dad!
"We were out having a drink with Kelly..."
American Dad!
"and one of Hayley's kidneys died!"
American Dad!
"And her other kidney is failing!"
American Dad!
"- She's gonna need a transplant. - Oh, my God."
American Dad!
"L'd give her mine, but I only have one."
American Dad!
"Kelly killed my other one when we had a tequila-pounding contest..."
American Dad!
"with comedian George Wallace..."
American Dad!
"who went on to become the second most famous black man in a Kangol hat."
American Dad!
"- Who's the first most famous? - Samuel L. Jackson."
American Dad!
"Then I guess I'll have to give her one of my kidneys."
American Dad!
"Or..."
American Dad!
"we could leave her hooked up to a machine her whole life."
American Dad!
"Like me and my coffeemaker, I tell you what."
American Dad!
"What are you talking about? She's my daughter."
American Dad!
"I'm ready! Somebody shave my groin!"
American Dad!
"- I like it against the grain! - Stan, wait."
American Dad!
"I don't know if you'll be a match."
American Dad!
"What? Don't be ridiculous. Why wouldn't I be a match?"
American Dad!
"Well-"
American Dad!
"There's a chance you're not Hayley's father."
American Dad!
"L... might not be Hayley's father?"
American Dad!
"- You cheated on me? - I'm sorry."
American Dad!
"It happened a few days before our wedding, at my bachelorette party."
American Dad!
"A few days before the wedding?"
American Dad!
"While I was dealing with small details..."
American Dad!
"that ultimately made it the most beautiful day of my life?"
American Dad!
"A box of flip-flops, so the girls could dance."
American Dad!
"I was freaking out that my life was changing."
American Dad!
"I was going from being this party girl to being someone's... wife."
American Dad!
"And I got drunk, and-"
American Dad!
"You big whore."
American Dad!
"I don't know why I'm holding you like this."
American Dad!
"It must be very confusing."
American Dad!
"Your daughter's second kidney is only working at 20%."
American Dad!
"because right before our wedding, my wife had warm-up sex with another man!"
American Dad!
"but it'll take a few days."
American Dad!
"Your insurance is terrible."
American Dad!
"I'm Robbie!"
American Dad!
"I'm not allowed to stay up and watch Cast!e!"
American Dad!
"- So who is he, Francine? - I'm not sure."
American Dad!
"Just someone I met in a bar and had sex with in the coatroom."
American Dad!
"Did you take off his pants and jacket?"
American Dad!
"My grandmother's here."
American Dad!
"She's dying."
American Dad!
"- Stan, I know you're upset. - Upset?"
American Dad!
"I'm just now finding out my daughter might not even be mine."
American Dad!
"I can't believe it. I mean, I changed her diapers. I fed her."
American Dad!
"Holy shit, that guy owes me so much money!"
American Dad!
"Hold on, Stan. There's a good chance Hayley is your daughter."
American Dad!
"You and I had sex three days after I was with him."
American Dad!
"Oh, no, this all makes sense."
American Dad!
"I can't believe I never saw it before."
American Dad!
"Hayley and I have never agreed on a single thing."
American Dad!
"The environment, health care, favorite fast-food mascot."
American Dad!
"I say the Hamburglar, because he's an outlaw, and that's sexy as hell."
American Dad!
"I don't remember what Hayley said..."
American Dad!
"When I was a kid, we called him the Ham-booger."
American Dad!
"Stan, come on."
American Dad!
"Fine."
American Dad!
"Honey, I'm sorry about all this."
American Dad!
"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
American Dad!
"I'm starting to think my body language could use some improvement."
American Dad!
"Goodness! - Her next update says your dad might not be Hayley's father."
American Dad!
"Six people "like" this."
American Dad!
"- So that leaves you as the next logical donor. - Oh."
American Dad!
"He'll turn on some Huey Lewis, and then cut the damn thing out with a rusty keyhole saw."
American Dad!
"No antiseptic, no Novocain, no nothing."
American Dad!
"Just the song "Hip To Be Square" drowning out your boyish screams."
American Dad!
"Computer, locate all the male patrons..."
American Dad!
"who were at The Button in Crane's Creek three nights before my wedding."
American Dad!
"Researching Researching Zero results."
American Dad!
"Oh, come on. Run it again."
American Dad!
"You're a half-billion-dollar supercomputer."
American Dad!
"Up-Update. Updating iTunes."
American Dad!
"We finally figured out time travel."
American Dad!
"Hmm."
American Dad!
"This could come into play with what's going on in my life."
American Dad!
"Come on, boy. Who wants a carrot?"
American Dad!
"Why are you so mean to me?"
American Dad!
"All I want to do is ride you to McDonald's."
American Dad!
"Okay, we're ready."
American Dad!
"and then look him up in the present in case Hayley needs his kidney."
American Dad!
"for what it cost me to raise her."
American Dad!
"That's on me. But does that really make me a bad guy?"
American Dad!
"Wanting my daughter to be in Cavalia..."
American Dad!
"the greatest show Larry King's ever seen?"
American Dad!
"Duper made it back at 12:02."
American Dad!
"I did it though. I took a way better high school photo."
American Dad!
"## - Keep your eyes peeled for your younger self."
American Dad!
"Oh, remember this place, Stan?"
American Dad!
"Right over there I slipped on a Beanie Baby and tore my flannel shirt..."
American Dad!
"Look. There you are!"
American Dad!
"who will never become a ghoulish mummy with bird-like appendages."
American Dad!
"I gotta say, Francine."
American Dad!
"I'm really surprised you're getting married."
American Dad!
"Yeah. But when you find the right person-"
American Dad!
"The same guy, the same thing, day after day, year after year, until you die."
American Dad!
"Oh, God."
American Dad!
"Come on. You're not married yet!"
American Dad!
"And neither am I."
American Dad!
"Hey, who wants to see if my Valtrex is working?"
American Dad!
"- That must be him! - He doesn't look like anything special."
American Dad!
"I remember him being super smooth."
American Dad!
"Here, let me wipe your seat off for you."
American Dad!
"There I am, taking him to the coatroom."
American Dad!
"- Let's get his name and get out of here. - Fine."
American Dad!
"L'll pick his pocket and look at his driver's license."
American Dad!
"And then I add candied almonds and sprinkle it with some blue cheese."
American Dad!
"- Sounds like a really good salad. - Yeah, it's the best salad ever."
American Dad!
"So do you want to have sex with me, or-"
American Dad!
"I don't know. I got a lot of salads to think up."
American Dad!
"Stop watching. Just get the wallet."
American Dad!
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