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Clips from Family Guy(1999) - Veteran Guy (S16E16)

"Whoa! It's like I'm high-fiving with Anthony Edwards."
Family Guy(1999)
"And it's not like I'd be lying."
Family Guy(1999)
"Dad, Family Guy used two of your songs."
Family Guy(1999)
"Well, that's great, but I'm not your dad."
Family Guy(1999)
"I'm Kenny Loggins and you're a groupie I brought here for sex."
Family Guy(1999)
"Dad, Family Guy just..."
Family Guy(1999)
"You guys got your video cameras ready?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Yeah. What's going on?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Well, as a veteran, I get to star in a viral YouTube video"
Family Guy(1999)
"of me reuniting with my beloved pet."
Family Guy(1999)
"My pet is Christian the lion."
Family Guy(1999)
"I'm doing two Internet things at once."
Family Guy(1999)
"This is my heterosexual roommate, Ace,"
Family Guy(1999)
"- You look great, Peter. - I have a family now!"
Family Guy(1999)
"You know, guys, if being a veteran is about anything,"
Family Guy(1999)
"it's about getting half-hearted applause"
Family Guy(1999)
"on a Southwest Airlines flight."
Family Guy(1999)
"Veterans."
Family Guy(1999)
"Yay, veterans."
Family Guy(1999)
"Holy crap, you're Eric Dane from Marley and Me,"
Family Guy(1999)
"and other stuff!"
Family Guy(1999)
"I'm afraid you got to give us your front-of-the-plane seats"
Family Guy(1999)
"'cause that's what celebrities do for veterans."
Family Guy(1999)
"Thank you. Thanks."
Family Guy(1999)
"Thank you so much. This is why I served."
Family Guy(1999)
""USS Nathan James"?"
Family Guy(1999)
"The Nathan James is the fictitious ship"
Family Guy(1999)
"You guys aren't veterans at all. You're frauds."
Family Guy(1999)
"Okay, we ain't real vets."
Family Guy(1999)
"Quagmire served in the Navy."
Family Guy(1999)
"The rest of us are charlatans."
Family Guy(1999)
"- Boo! - You're terrible!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Excuse me, gentlemen. You're under arrest."
Family Guy(1999)
"which makes it a crime to pretend to be a veteran."
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, so suddenly it's a crime to break the law?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Mr. Quagmire, you're free to go,"
Family Guy(1999)
"but the rest of you will have to come with me."
Family Guy(1999)
"I thought we had it bad,"
Family Guy(1999)
"being gay overhead bins."
Family Guy(1999)
"What makes us gay?"
Family Guy(1999)
"We've got bags in our mouths."
Family Guy(1999)
"Hey, quick, put these on."
Family Guy(1999)
"They're not gonna throw a veteran in jail."
Family Guy(1999)
"Is this some kind of joke to you?"
Family Guy(1999)
"No, it was a sincere idea."
Family Guy(1999)
"Real servicemen and women"
Family Guy(1999)
"have made real sacrifices for this country."
Family Guy(1999)
"And you. You're an actual veteran; you should know better."
Family Guy(1999)
"I'm sorry."
Family Guy(1999)
"You made a mockery of our whole family, Glenn."
Family Guy(1999)
"Now, everywhere I go,"
Family Guy(1999)
"it's like people are staring at me and whispering."
Family Guy(1999)
"Court is now in session."
Family Guy(1999)
"Judge Dignified Q. Blackman presiding."
Family Guy(1999)
"You men are accused of violating the Stolen Valor Act,"
Family Guy(1999)
"and that's years of jail time."
Family Guy(1999)
"We forgot to get a lawyer."
Family Guy(1999)
"But in view of your long service to comedy,"
Family Guy(1999)
"I'm willing to offer a deal."
Family Guy(1999)
"What kind of deal?"
Family Guy(1999)
"I'll waive the charges, but only on the condition"
Family Guy(1999)
"that you men enlist in the military for real."
Family Guy(1999)
"You three have to join the Marines."
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, my God. We could be killed! Please, no!"
Family Guy(1999)
"All right, how about the Coast Guard?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Yeah, that's fine."
Family Guy(1999)
"- Wow. - Something happened."
Family Guy(1999)
"Something just happened in court."
Family Guy(1999)
"Glenn, if you were half the man I used to be,"
Family Guy(1999)
"you'd stand up and join them."
Family Guy(1999)
"Your Honor? I'd like to sign up, too."
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, my God."
Family Guy(1999)
"I was checking my phone. What happened?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Excuse me?"
Family Guy(1999)
"That's right. I'm going with them."
Family Guy(1999)
"All right. Report to the induction center tomorrow."
Family Guy(1999)
"Court is adjourned."
Family Guy(1999)
"Next case on the docket: The People v. Ted 2."
Family Guy(1999)
"Okay, come on, let's get out of here. Let's go. Let's go."
Family Guy(1999)
"Good morning, recruits."
Family Guy(1999)
"Welcome to the Coast Guard."
Family Guy(1999)
"Hey, what's with the "sir" stuff?"
Family Guy(1999)
"This is just the Coast Guard."
Family Guy(1999)
"Now, come on. Who here can pantomime driving a boat?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Hmm, we got any boat guys here?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Whoa, look at that."
Family Guy(1999)
"You guys should be recruiting me."
Family Guy(1999)
"Now can you bounce with the waves a little bit?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Is this guy for real? This is idiotic."
Family Guy(1999)
"This is nothing like what the Navy was."
Family Guy(1999)
"Shh, Quagmire, I got to focus on my boat here."
Family Guy(1999)
"The way people's talking makes me think"
Family Guy(1999)
"we're gonna be dealing with a lot of water."
Family Guy(1999)
"so raise your right hand as I recite the Coast Guard pledge."
Family Guy(1999)
"Everybody ships out tomorrow."
Family Guy(1999)
"You'll find your assignments listed on this sheet."
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, crap. Where in Iraq is "Fort El Ahoud Urd Ali"?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Peter, that's Fort Lauderdale."
Family Guy(1999)
"We're being shipped out to guard freakin' spring break."
Family Guy(1999)
"- Sweet! - All right!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Spring break on the land, not the water!"
Family Guy(1999)
"No, it's not sweet. It's a joke. This whole thing is a joke!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Compared to the Navy, the Coast Guard is totally"
Family Guy(1999)
"He's going to be crucifying you now."
Family Guy(1999)
"He might want to use his hammer."
Family Guy(1999)
"Relax, you're doing fine."
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, Peter, I'm so worried."
Family Guy(1999)
"- Where are they stationing you? - I can't tell you."
Family Guy(1999)
"That is on a knead-the-dough basis."
Family Guy(1999)
"- Florida?! - Shh!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Wait, Dad, before you go, can you teach me to shave?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Well, for starters, bud, that's supposed to be on your pubes."
Family Guy(1999)
"You got a secret inch hiding under there."
Family Guy(1999)
"This is what I'm gonna be missing."
Family Guy(1999)
"Well, that's an unrelated car honking,"
Family Guy(1999)
"but I'm gonna go now."
Family Guy(1999)
"Fort Lauderdale, Florida,"
Family Guy(1999)
"where all the art in every dentist's office comes from."
Family Guy(1999)
"All right, let's get to work. Grab your binoculars."
Family Guy(1999)
"We got to practice doing funny double-takes"
Family Guy(1999)
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