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Clips from South Park - Sarcastaball (S16E16)

"The score is zero to zero"
South Park
"as the Steelers kick off to the Broncos."
South Park
"Manning has the ball."
South Park
"He's saying some really great things about the other team."
South Park
"now another official is signaling that's a safety."
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"Fuck it. It's a fucking field goal."
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"Yeah, well, the other team was just"
South Park
"so awesome on offense I was really scared."
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"There's no way I know how to coach it."
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"Guess we'll find out on Sunday."
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"the day off we need to practice tomorrow!"
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"That's good Peyton,"
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"Practice on Monday?!"
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"Sure, Eric!"
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"Kids are starting to make"
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"I'm so good at sucking I should work at a Thai massage parlor."
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"Oh, well, Eric, I told you,"
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"them where all the feelings of compassion and joy come from."
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"Didn't your dad ever tell you that?"
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"of that feeling that it comes out sometimes."
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"when I go to sleep and especially"
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"You save it all?"
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"Butters,"
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"do you think your goo might work on someone else?"
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"I never really thought of it that way."
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"Holy shit, I think I do."
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"Welcome back to Rome,"
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"we're gonna talk some sarcastaball."
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"I can't wait."
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"Joining me now is the coach"
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"Randy Marsh."
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"Yeah, it's awesome to be on your show."
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"and turning it into a sarcastic nightmare."
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"You know, when I came up with"
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"That's a game I wanna watch four times."
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"Good luck on Sunday."
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"I'm sure that'll be another game that I could watch twelve times."
South Park
"thirteen times."
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"and make a four course meal for all of you."
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"Check that."
South Park
"Are you unable to stop being sarcastic?"
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"Oh, right, I can't stop being sarcastic now."
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"Right, it's doing something to my brain"
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"Yes! I totally mean it!"
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"Clyde! Token!"
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"Now, what is going on out there?!"
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"That kid is provoking us!"
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"He's saying mean things to try to piss us off."
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"Yeah. We need more of your mojo, Butters."
South Park
"all right here ya go."
South Park
"I'm sorry, Mr. Marsh,"
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"but there appears to be permanent damage."
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"I'm sorry."
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"forget about what this sport has done to me."
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"Let thousands of people play sarcastaball and get hurt too."
South Park
"Oh, really,"
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"you think there's a correlation between sarcasm and sarcastaball?"
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"Really?"
South Park
"Please go on."
South Park
"on how sarcastaball might be damaging people's brains."
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"It's heart warming to see"
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"you have such high regard for his safety!"
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"for cancer research and genetic diseases,"
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"and make commercials that say 'hey America,"
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"sarcasm might not be such a great thing for your brain."
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"Jim Rome here."
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"Hey, I love sarcastaball just as much as the next guy."
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"I need an extra burst of energy to get me through a game."
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"That's when I reach for a bottle of this."
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"of good tidings and be nicer than a ray of sunshine."
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"Cumpassion!"
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"42!"
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"Red 13!"
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"Sunshine and happy thoughts."
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"What?"
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"It's like so safe that we should have every kid play it."
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"Let me try that again."
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"Cut, sorry."
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"Try this again."
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"Look, what I'm trying to say is,"
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"We're going home."
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"Yeah, we're your parents,"
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"Don't you see what this sport has done to your father?"
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"Mr. Marsh, listen,"
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"I know you care about your son,"
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"He's good at tickling,"
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"We're not being sarcastic, Dad!"
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"Is it so hard for you to believe that"
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"when Butters says competitiveness can be compassionate,"
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"he's being completely sincere?"
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"I don't see how anyone could play this game with any sincerity."
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"That's because you're too grumpy and negative to believe it."
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"Yeah, Dad,"
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"This is cum."
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"And you can just sit here"
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"in your room and think about what you've done!"
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"Just because people try and make"
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"football a little safer by changing a kick off rule,"
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"'oh why don't we just drink each other's "cum"."
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"Sarcasm like that is homophobic,"
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"We'll talk about that when you're older."
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"Come on, everybody,"
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"Some of you might of seen me on TV last night."
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"Turns out a little kid was just being sarcastic."
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"That kid's probably grounded for a month."
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"And a week."
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"so why don't we have players in bras drinking semen."
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"Yeah, that's a fast ball right there."
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"and I don't know what else to say but so long sarcastaball,"
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"Let's just hope nothing like this ever happens again."
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"Probably won't."
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"Not for another year."
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"Check that,"
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"Hey Dad!"
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"Oh, well, Butters."
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"See, whenever you have friends in the area"
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"your little compass there tells you where they are."
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"I'm going down to South Park,"
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"He's running down the sideline and-- ooohhh!!!"
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"Remember that at practice tomorrow."
South Park
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