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Clips from South Park - Sarcastaball (S16E16)

"but Jackson appears to think he's in his car,"
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"Commissioner,"
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"Well, there certainly are interesting statistics coming out, Dan."
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"Ol Eric tells me I should work"
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"The school said they're the most"
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"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa.."
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"new rule in the football program about no kickoffs."
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"we've decided to go without kickoffs"
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"- mkay. - Oh yeah,"
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"we don't kids getting hurt playing football."
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"How would the bras and tinfoil hats make it safer?"
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"tries to run while all the other players hug."
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"Yeah, Stan, this is what people want."
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"Don't worry,"
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"I got the balloon Coach Marsh what should I do with it?!"
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"So you're happy with these changes?"
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"Okay."
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"gathering followers by the hundreds."
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"I have no idea how to go out on"
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"Hey, whoa!"
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"This great game isn't about plays,"
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"you give better hugs than anyone out on that field!"
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"loving goo sits and you gotta use that to be the nicest,"
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"and let the world know that we will not go down so easy!!!!!"
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"Let's do this."
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"As Commissioner of the NFL I am so thrilled to see"
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"Give 'em hell Coach!"
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"Oh, yeah, good one!"
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"And now here are your Denver whoop dee fucking do girls!"
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"Go Broncos go."
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"Nice job, Celo,"
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"It's overflowing sometimes."
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"I love you,"
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"You now how I feel about the Captain of sports teams!"
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"it's happy feelings."
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"Go Broncos go."
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"The referee comes in..."
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"Oh, yeah, I'm just the guy who invented sarcastaball."
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"All right, guys listen up- forget about"
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"That's it!"
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"I don't know what to do."
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"fun of me because I'm no good at sarcastaball."
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"I suck at being nice and polite."
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"Oh no, Eric,"
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"I don't have a dad."
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"Oh right, I'm sorry."
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"And some people have so much"
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"Thanks for callin in, Randy."
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"thanks for taking a sport that we all love,"
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"That's a game I wanna watch twice."
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"Check that,"
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"Oh, yeah, I've totally got time to do that, Sharon."
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"I'm telling you, Randy,"
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"All right, first string cover those wideouts."
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"Cartman, you idiot!"
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"My week just keeps getting better."
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"There just isn't enough"
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"let's get all the funding"
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"Thank you, Doctor."
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"But sometimes it's so thrilling"
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"Butters Creamy Goo."
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"You need a sports drink that gives you that extra boost."
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"and get the goo."
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"Staaan?!"
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"You can't tell me what to do!"
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"Oh, Randy! It's happening!"
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"Look the point has been made ok?"
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"Any questions?!"
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"let's work on that kick off change and get back to some football."
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"Turns out the drink I endorsed was semen."
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"Check that I'm sure he's grounded for two months."
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"War little kids drinking semen to finally bring back real football"
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"it was nice knowing you."
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"Friendly faces everywhere,"
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"Butters!"
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"looks like his pants are down around his ankles."
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"Bras?"
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"You think the students would like that?"
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"we're through with our kids"
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"screw this!"
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"But-ters! But-ters! But-ters!"
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"Love you too, ladies."
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"It happened again!"
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"Oh wait,"
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"Sometimes I wake up."
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"Thanks, Jim."
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"Cuz it's totally what I intended."
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"Randy, aren't you going to come join your family for dinner?"
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"Helllp me."
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"Hug those two players and give their quarterback a kiss!"
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"let's take all that money"
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"Thank you so much!"
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"When I get hot and tired only one thing can boost my compassion."
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"Now I'm back in the game!"
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"Go and chug a bottle of Butters Creamy Goo."
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"Good job, kid!"
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"Staaaan!"
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"We're going home."
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"There's something you need to know about sarcastaball."
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"Listen everyone,"
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"What you need,"
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"is a sports drink that can"
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"Well, during this time out we're"
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"I'm thrilled!"
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"And Clyde,"
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"That's true."
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"You'll be filled with feelings"
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"Sunshine and happy thoughts!"
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"Welcome back to Rome."
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"and then you give 'em a smile!"
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"Yeahh!!!! Wooo!!!!"
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"But I always make sure I keep it,"
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"Oh all right,"
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"Sports these days are all about being nice."
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"most compassionate player you've ever been"
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"research in how sarcasm effects the brain."
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"this is great."
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"gonna have myself a time."
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"Football needs to be made safer"
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"My goo doesn't come out every night,"
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