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Clips from South Park - Sarcastaball (S16E16)

"Best served just above room temperature."
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"Get in the car, Stan."
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"We're sorry, Stanley,"
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"Hey, get off the field,"
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"Everyone, everyone listen."
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"It turns out it's totally safe."
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"Yeah, it's super safe."
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"Sorry, sorry hang on."
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"you're a fucking genius."
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"we should have like ten sarcastaball"
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"leagues because then everyone -- God dammit!"
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"we can't tell you what to do."
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"Do you want to end up like him?!"
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"Oh, right, like he doesn't exaggerate every disease he gets."
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"but he's a heck of a player."
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"I'm warning you being this sarcastic is dangerous."
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"Is it so hard to believe that"
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"we really enjoy a sport that has no violence?"
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"boost your levels of caring and goodness."
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"doesn't mean you need take it to"
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"chauvinistic and completely lacking in maturity!"
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"That's a real stroke of philosophic genius."
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"What?"
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"My wiener's all stiff and pointy."
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"It's pointing up"
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"Thanks Dad."
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"Ample parking day or night,"
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"Did you see that hit?"
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"but it appears as though he's looking for his keys, Dan."
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"Yeah, and that doesn't make a lot"
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"he doesn't even he have a license."
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"Coach Martin is coming over to tell him that now,"
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"driving home."
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"happy to be joined by the commissioner of the NFL,"
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"Roger Goodell."
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"how is the league handling all that?"
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"And we are deeply concerned and waiting to see if"
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"Oh and it looks like some"
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"There's all pro safety Martin Gregors."
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"And fullback Jim Harris,"
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"Somebody should let him know,"
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"Yeah, not sure if that's meant to be a cake or perhaps a,"
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"Boy, I just don't get football."
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"Guess that's why I suck at it."
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"at a Thai massage parlor I'm so good at sucking!"
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"That's right, Butters."
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"And with that,"
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"All right, all right here you go boys."
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"Watch them on the kickoff. All right?"
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"Special teams are the most important plays."
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"dangerous plays so they don't have us do them any more."
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"PTA meeting does anyone have any outstanding issues?"
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"Why don't we have the players just wear bras?"
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"Yeah. The players should all wear bras and instead"
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"it's "the future""
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"we'll have a balloon instead of a ball."
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"A sport where safety is all that matters."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"Yes, I would love to be the coach of the sarcastaball team."
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"you look really cool."
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"Oh you know,"
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"try to get it into the endzone but be really polite about it."
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"Wow, this game is great!!!!"
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"Nobody's getting hurt and the kids are learning valuable"
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"says no and has started a movement to reform the sport,"
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"Nice for you all to turn out"
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"in record numbers to show your support for sarcastaball."
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"Yeah, yeah,"
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"getting knocked on da gwooound and tackwled."
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"Go on! Pat yourselves on the back!"
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"Showing just how much one concerned parent can do,"
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"Yeah, yeah, let's do that."
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"We got an economy in the toilet,"
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"a big election coming up,"
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"but this country's number one priority should be making football safer."
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"I can't even remember if we're"
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"a field and be as nice as I can to the other team!"
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"We don't even understand how this game is played."
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"And when I look around this locker room,"
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"Token,"
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"you're nicer than anybody I know."
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"with a victory because we think they know how to be nicer than us?"
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"When your enemy is nice to you you just be nice right back!"
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"And when they try and thank you for those balloons you say"
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"'I don't need any thanks I did it cuz it was the right thing to do'"
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"And when that other team tries to come at you,"
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"right down to your creamy center - that place,"
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"Stan, hook up my bra."
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"our nations youth embrace sarcastaball over traditional football."
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"Oh but why stop there?"
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"Good job."
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"Oh thank you Commissioner,"
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"Yeah, no, no,"
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"Hey, guys,"
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"how about a nice fucking picture to welcome in the future of sports."
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"Whoop dee fucking do."
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"And now here to sing the sarcastaball anthem recording artist,"
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"Celo."
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"It's soooo much better than fooootball."
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"good to see you on TV some more."
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"Yeah, I'm a big fan of all your hit songs!"
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"Look, I'm sorry guys,"
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"my dad said he's too busy with the Broncos,"
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"he doesn't have time for us."
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"I'm sorry!"
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"We have Butters."
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"The guys are right."
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"From now on you're team Captain, Butters."
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"You lead us to victory."
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"I suck at everything."
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"What about that creamy filling you talked about?"
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"It's in there."
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"You're the man."
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"Oh, Butters!"
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"Wowoo -- what- what- oh."
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"Oh. Well, that's okay, Butters."
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"feeling just gets so full it comes out at night."
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"All right, Butters,"
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"Let's just not talk about it."
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"Okay, Dad!"
South Park
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