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Clips from Family Guy - No Chris Left Behind (S05E05)

"Synchronisation : Tezman Adjustment : Fogia Transcript : Raceman"
Family Guy
"We now return to How I Met Your Father."
Family Guy
"to always be talking about getting married rather than getting laid?"
Family Guy
"All right, come on, everyone. Go get dressed. It's ballet night."
Family Guy
"Peter, a little culture is good for this family."
Family Guy
"Well, we're not the first people to be dragged off against our will."
Family Guy
"- Are we there yet? - No!"
Family Guy
"- That works. - It'll teach us a lesson. - Yeah, that's even better."
Family Guy
"And, uh, it seems to work out for them, so..."
Family Guy
"Lois, we'll be right back. Meg's gonna take me outside to poop."
Family Guy
"Hey, Peter, what's up?"
Family Guy
"Get out of here. You serious?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! What do we do?! What do we do?! We're both here."
Family Guy
"For our first order of business, we'll go to Bruce."
Family Guy
"We got lots of exciting topics here tonight."
Family Guy
"- Benjamin Franklin. - Here."
Family Guy
"Chris Griffin is hereby expelled."
Family Guy
"I say, I could home-school him."
Family Guy
"So do you think your school would be right for Chris?"
Family Guy
"Oh, absolutely."
Family Guy
"I can't hear you!"
Family Guy
"I can't hear you!"
Family Guy
"Kill them!"
Family Guy
"Let's just go."
Family Guy
"I mean, it's not like the high school will take him back."
Family Guy
"You know, I have completely forgotten."
Family Guy
"No, no, no. I... I'm all right. I'm all right.."
Family Guy
"You know, I drive by this place all the time"
Family Guy
"Yes! Thank you!"
Family Guy
"Oh, oh, oh, lemme, lemme,let me... I-I'll get that."
Family Guy
"My food was more expensive. I feel bad. If I..."
Family Guy
"- I'm not taking my hand off this thing. - Well, neither am I."
Family Guy
"Let go of the check."
Family Guy
"- Ernie, if he wants to... - Stay out of this!"
Family Guy
"Do you know why I stopped you?"
Family Guy
"I didn't fasten my seat belt. I didn't look in my rear view mirror."
Family Guy
"Oh, yes, yes,how do you do, sirrrr?"
Family Guy
"Well, I love her politics, but how is she in bed?"
Family Guy
"Well, as anyone in Florida will tell you, she knows how to rig an erection."
Family Guy
"- Shut up, poor kid. - No, I'm serious. Look!"
Family Guy
"So, Chris, how's the new school?"
Family Guy
"It's awful. I hate it!"
Family Guy
"Well, that's enough fun for one day."
Family Guy
"I'm sweating more than a non-legacy applying to Yale."
Family Guy
"What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"This is where the most powerful men in the world are groomed for their futures."
Family Guy
"Really? Wow, cool!"
Family Guy
"We now return to Japanese Girls"
Family Guy
"Oh, look at my tiny dog. I'm gonna put it in my tiny purse."
Family Guy
"That sounds kind of cruel."
Family Guy
"Come on. Come on in. Your family's waiting in here."
Family Guy
"And food that's not served from warming trays."
Family Guy
"How's school going so far?"
Family Guy
"- Buttscratcher! - Peter, no."
Family Guy
"We all did, Chris."
Family Guy
"No, I mean, I think I want to go back to my old school."
Family Guy
"Is there any way you can get me back into James Woods High?"
Family Guy
"Ah, it's good to have you back, buddy."
Family Guy
"Oh, Barney, I'm never going to meet the right girl and get married."
Family Guy
"You know, Ted, don't you think it's kinda strange for a guy in his 20s"
Family Guy
"Barney,"
Family Guy
"I'm in love with you."
Family Guy
"Suit up."
Family Guy
"Lois, don't freakin' put me through this again."
Family Guy
"Besides, you liked The Nutcracker, didn't you?"
Family Guy
"The Nutcracker had zero physical comedy."
Family Guy
"And with a name like The Nutcracker I thought,"
Family Guy
"that title wrote a check that those queers on stage refused to cash."
Family Guy
"Peter, we're going."
Family Guy
"- Are we there yet? - No!"
Family Guy
"Are we there yet?"
Family Guy
"Damn it! I swear to God I will turn this ship around!"
Family Guy
"All right, if that's what you... Wait a minute!"
Family Guy
"You know, Meg, female ballet dancers are famous for anorexia and bulimia."
Family Guy
"hintity, hint-hint."
Family Guy
"- What? - Yeah. - Ah."
Family Guy
"Hey, Quagmire."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I got dragged here by this broad I'm trying to screw."
Family Guy
"Where you sitting?"
Family Guy
"Chris, how many times have I told you no reading during meals?"
Family Guy
"I have a history test today, Mom,"
Family Guy
"Well, Chris, you're not gonna learn any history from this. This textbook is from 1948."
Family Guy
"- What? - Chapter 3:"
Family Guy
""Youth culture rebels with Big Band music.""
Family Guy
"Let me see that."
Family Guy
""Israel, the brand-new country everyone's gonna love.""
Family Guy
"What the hell? Are the schools so underfunded"
Family Guy
"that they can't afford text books from this century?"
Family Guy
"Well, I am going to raise hell about this at the next PTA meeting."
Family Guy
"Well, let me know if you need help. I can be very persuasive."
Family Guy
"I gave the next speech after the Braveheart guy."
Family Guy
"They can take our lives, but they can never take"
Family Guy
"our freedom!"
Family Guy
"that are in abutment of church lands."
Family Guy
"So, yeah, let's do it."
Family Guy
"All right, let's get this meeting underway."
Family Guy
"Well, hey, y'all said my name."
Family Guy
"Welcome to our meeting here at the school."
Family Guy
"We gonna have a puppet show. We gonna have some jazz."
Family Guy
"No, I'm just kidding."
Family Guy
"We have some business to take care of, though."
Family Guy
"I'm just a little excited 'cause I met somebody today."
Family Guy
"Someone in the bookstore."
Family Guy
"Someone who likes the same kind of literature as I do."
Family Guy
"The school has gone too far with these budget cuts."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin, but the "No Child Left Behind" law"
Family Guy
"cost us our federal funding because our students' test scores were too low."
Family Guy
"They cut a school's funding if it's got low test scores?"
Family Guy
"Okay, we're here to sign this declaration of our independence."
Family Guy
"Let's take roll call first."
Family Guy
"- John Footpenis? - It's Hancock now."
Family Guy
"- Why? - Mind your business. That's why."
Family Guy
"Well, somehow this school needs to raise its test scores right away."
Family Guy
"I suppose there is one thing I can do to raise the school's test average."
Family Guy
"Then do it."
Family Guy
"All right, we'll drop the dumbest student we have:"
Family Guy
"But if I leave now, I won't hear who's the dumbest kid in the school."
Family Guy
"Cool, I don't have to go to school."
Family Guy
"I can just pee in my bed all day."
Family Guy
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