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Clips from Rick and Morty - The Wedding Squanchers (S02E02)

"You are my seed, my worm, my earliness,"
Rick and Morty
"I promise to be yours until your death."
Rick and Morty
"Tammy, I was approaching infertility when I met you,"
Rick and Morty
"Aww!"
Rick and Morty
"I now pronounce you squanch and birdperson!"
Rick and Morty
"I don't require a camera so..."
Rick and Morty
"Hi. I am not staring at you."
Rick and Morty
"Uh, hi, everybody."
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"You know, when I first met birdperson, he was, uhh..."
Rick and Morty
"Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the Universe"
Rick and Morty
"because I'm the smartest."
Rick and Morty
"about how little I trust marriage."
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"I couldn't make it work,"
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"and I could turn a black hole into a sun,"
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"what are the odds this is legit"
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"and not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves"
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"because we're afraid to die alone?"
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"Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die... alone."
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"Oh, boy. Oh, dad."
Rick and Morty
"Birdperson is my best friend,"
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"That was beautiful."
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"Gosh, I look around this room, and I think,"
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""uh, Tammy, you're a high-school senior"
Rick and Morty
"from the planet earth, and you're marrying"
Rick and Morty
"a 40-year-old birdperson? Like, what?!""
Rick and Morty
"I'm not a high-school senior from the planet earth."
Rick and Morty
"In a lot of ways, what I really am"
Rick and Morty
"is a deep-cover agent for the galactic federation,"
Rick and Morty
"Oh, shit."
Rick and Morty
"L'Chaim!"
Rick and Morty
"Tammy, what are you doing?"
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"Tammy?"
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"Holy..."
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"Good thing I grabbed a space weapon."
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"This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid."
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"Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us"
Rick and Morty
"about your relationship"
Rick and Morty
"with this previously unknown galactic government?"
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"All the important points seem pretty clear, no?"
Rick and Morty
"They think they control the galaxy, I disagree."
Rick and Morty
"How could you be so dishonest with this family?"
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"who is bffs with an intergalactic narc?"
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"Hey, Tammy was cool!"
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"And now we know why. Because of you!"
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"Fuck you, Summer, and fuck the government,"
Rick and Morty
"which I will never do again."
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"Geez, Rick!"
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"You can't say f... "'f' you" to your granddaughter."
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"I just did, Morty. Here's dessert. Fuck you."
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"Look, I think we've all had a tough wedding."
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"The reception got out of hand."
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"What?!"
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"Earth will be swarming with them."
Rick and Morty
"Jerry... I want to go home!"
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"Look, anyone that wants to go back to earth"
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"But here's what's gonna happen."
Rick and Morty
"Aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you."
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"They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent"
Rick and Morty
"which I guarantee they won't believe."
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"So who's homesick? By applause."
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"Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise."
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"Fuck Earth."
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"You realize our planet's name means dirt, right?"
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"are at least 90% similar to earth?"
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"765 known planets."
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"How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?"
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"for a brand-new motherfucking world?!"
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"Look at this baby!"
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"Pssh. White-people problems, Morty."
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"Let's go down and check her out."
Rick and Morty
"All right, uh, maybe..."
Rick and Morty
"This looks nice."
Rick and Morty
"Whoa! Hey, check this out!"
Rick and Morty
"Flowers on a cob!"
Rick and Morty
"Huh. Strawberries and flowers on a cob, huh?"
Rick and Morty
"Are those... Mountains on a cob?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"Get in the goddamn ship!!"
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"Everything's on a cob!!"
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"All right, third time's the charm."
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"See what we got here."
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"No, it's nice. I think this might be it."
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"Wow! Hey, look, you guys."
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"The sun's rising."
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"Uh, dad, how long are the days on this planet?"
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"Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?"
Rick and Morty
"42 hours."
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"All right, well, those are the two choices,"
Rick and Morty
"'cause cob planet is off the table."
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"Well, it's official."
Rick and Morty
"The obscure planet known as earth,"
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"formerly the hiding place of interstellar terrorist"
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"has just become the 6,048th planet"
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"which is where it gets its name,"
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"is dominated by seven billion primate-descended natives"
Rick and Morty
"who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos."
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"Spaghetti, kangaroos?"
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"I've got to check this place out."
Rick and Morty
"Up next, teenagers are calling it"
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"And it's not what you think."
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"What are you... what did you do that for?"
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"Good morning, family."
Rick and Morty
"Oh, do I smell bacon?"
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"Yes, we discovered a species of tiny pig"
Rick and Morty
"about 30 yards east. Or 300 yards west."
Rick and Morty
"but we hunted it to extinction for breakfast."
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"Well, I thought I'd walk to the South pole"
Rick and Morty
"and do a little bit of exploring."
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"that it goes around the world and hits me."
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"Okay, now that he's gone,"
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"can we please talk about our situation?"
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"Dad, you can't talk about people behind their back."
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"You know, it's a small world."
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"Please, he's in the South pole!"
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"And we need to have a serious conversation."
Rick and Morty
"Ohhhh!"
Rick and Morty
"we keep acting like there's only two options,"
Rick and Morty
"as long as Rick was out there,"
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"they'd want to interrogate us."
Rick and Morty
"But, and this is purely hypothetical,"
Rick and Morty
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