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Clips from The Simpsons - Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (S03E03)

"Senate page Brad Fletcher..."
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"skin care consultant Rowena..."
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"and wealthy gadabout Chilton Gaines."
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"Our first essayist will be Lisa Simpson."
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"Lisa? Lisa?"
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"Lisa Simpson will now read her essay--"
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"Um-- [ Chuckles ] Okay."
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"The city of Washington was built on a stagnant swamp..."
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"some 200 years ago and very little has changed."
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"Only today, it is the fetid stench of corruption that hangs in the air."
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"- [ All Gasp ] - But don't worry, Congressman..."
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"I'm sure you can buy all the votes you need with your dirty money."
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"with liberty and justice for none."
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"- [ All Booing ] - [ Gasps ]"
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"- Please, son, I'm very busy. - A little girl..."
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"- is losing faith in democracy. - Good Lord!"
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"Congressman, we want to drill for oil in Teddy Roosevelt's head."
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"Well-- Teddy who?"
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"We will now vote on the House bill 1 022--"
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"the expulsion of Bob Arnold."
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"- Your bosses? - Yep. All 250 million of them."
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"we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets."
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"Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel-balancing centers."
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"Where else but in America-- or possibly Canada--"
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"could our family find such opportunity?"
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"That's why whenever I see the stars and stripes..."
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"I'll always be reminded of that wonderful word ''flag.''"
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"[ Cheering, Applause ]"
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"There will be a brief recess while the judges tabulate their votes."
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"Lisa, what's gotten into you?"
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"Yeah, your other speech was a little more crowd pleasing."
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"I'm sorry, Dad. I couldn't think of a nice way to say America stinks."
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"Give me one of those."
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"- He already sang this song. - No, that was about the budget gap."
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"And now the moment of truth."
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"Will the winning essay be '' Bubble on, O melting pot''?"
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"''Lift high your lamp, Green Lady''?"
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"And now the winner is..."
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"'' USA, A-OK,'' by Trong Van Dinh."
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"Miss Crowley, thank you for this oversized novelty check."
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"I would like share this honor with all of my fellow essayists..."
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"particularly the courageous Lisa Simpson..."
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"- Give her the check! - [ All Laughing ]"
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"I was serious."
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"- Ow.! - Bart!"
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"D'oh! [ Screams ]"
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"[ Dog Whimpering ]"
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"Stupid junk mail."
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"I had a feeling it was too good to be true."
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"God forbid they would ever read something and improve their minds."
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"and listen to an inspiring story of wilderness survival."
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"and if you'd like to see me in a costume, you have only to ask.''"
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"Wow. ''Win a trip to Washington, D.C."
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"I don't know. I thought maybe bikes weren't cool anymore."
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"Hmm."
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"Yeah! Damn right!"
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"Ding-- excellent schools. Dong-- quality hospitals.''"
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"''We the purple''? What the hell was that?"
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"[ Bell Dinging ]"
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"- Have a good night's sleep, Lisa. - No, really, what?"
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"These are special V.I.P. badges."
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"- Miss, what does the ''I'' stand for? - Important."
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"- Oh! How about the ''V''? - Very."
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"You're a sharp one. Well, how about a few pictures?"
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"Now there is a politician who cares."
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"Oh!"
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"- Amen, sister. - [ Footsteps ]"
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"I told you no one ever came here."
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"Mr. Lincoln? Mr. Lincoln?"
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"the Louisiana Purchase, the dumbwaiter--"
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"The truth must be told."
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"Okay, this should make my bosses very happy."
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"I can't believe it. The system works."
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"D'oh!"
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"whose inflammatory rhetoric reminded us..."
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"- It's lunchtime. - You go ahead."
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"Marge, look at them staring at that idiot box."
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"God! Those kids don't know what they're missing."
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"''You better burn your shirt and your pants."
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"[ Moaning ]"
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"I-- [ Laughs ] I never quite know how to put this."
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"- You work fast. - I work for Uncle Sam."
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"seven red stripes and a hell of a lot of stars.''"
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"[ Homer ] Free food?"
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"and the NFL Punt, Pass and Kick Competition."
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"Thanks for driving me to the contest, Dad."
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"'' Ding, dong. The sounds of the Liberty Bell."
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"I'd like to give you a logging permit, I would, but, uh..."
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"I would like to read a different essay, if I may?"
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"Senator, there's a problem at the essay contest."
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"- [ Both Gasp ] - Cool! A ruckus."
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"Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool!"
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"- Sorry, sir. It's just-- - No one ever comes to see me."
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"Tot shot always plays in the sticks."
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"[ Laughing ]"
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"- Yes, sir, can I get you something? - Playing cards, notepad..."
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"Ding-- freedom. Dong-- opportunity."
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"''because none of those things could exist without six white stripes..."
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"[ Both Laughing ]"
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"Wa-hoo! Who would have guessed..."
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"[ Chuckles ]"
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"Maria is the National Spelling Bee Champion."
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"''Stir in two cups of checks. Sprinkle liberally with balances.''"
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"[ Laughs ] Ain't it the truth?"
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"[ Bell Ringing ]"
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"[ Beeping ]"
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"[ Clears Throat ] Marge, ''You have a nice body..."
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"'' My back is spineless. My belly is yellow."
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"- Hmm. [ Grunts ] - [ Chuckles ]"
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"Little boy, I bet you'd like to visit the cockpit."
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"- So, uh, where do we-- - Duh, duh, duh, Not here."
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"- a pay raise for ourselves? - [ All ] No.!"
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"Shh!"
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"[ Scoffs ] I'll see that he gets it."
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"Hey, a cartoon!"
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"- Oh, it's for kids. - Wait, Dad!"
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"propeller-shaped swizzle stick, sleeping mask..."
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"- No! - [ Screams ]"
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"- [ Bell Dings ] - ## [ Elevator Music ]"
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"- Hey! - [ Laughs ]"
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