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Clips from Seinfeld - The Merv Griffin Show (S09E09)

"No, we got a whole new format. Edgy, youthful."
Seinfeld
"-Plus, we got Jim Fowler. -Jim Fowler?"
Seinfeld
"The animal guy from Wild Kingdom is coming?"
Seinfeld
"Can I bring the squirrel by?"
Seinfeld
"Two animal acts on the same show?"
Seinfeld
"Look, George, I'm sorry, maybe another time, all right?"
Seinfeld
"I know he would take this squirrel."
Seinfeld
"-It's practically bionic. -Hey."
Seinfeld
"Nice sidle, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Speaking of which, I think I've got that problem solved."
Seinfeld
"Tic Tacs work?"
Seinfeld
"He's a human maraca."
Seinfeld
"You took him over to Celia's?"
Seinfeld
"What about the woman who's been drugged and taken advantage of?"
Seinfeld
"Okay, one victim."
Seinfeld
"Last night, I found a whole Weeble village behind the Easy-Bake Oven."
Seinfeld
"You step on it and it flushes."
Seinfeld
"Why is your father giving a tour of a rest stop?"
Seinfeld
"I was 7 and a half."
Seinfeld
"In my office, in the hallway..."
Seinfeld
"No, no, Mr. Peterman. That wasn't me."
Seinfeld
"And if you are undead..."
Seinfeld
"We have to talk."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, right. -Stop it."
Seinfeld
"You gotta stop carrying these, okay? Just use mouthwash."
Seinfeld
"Binaca."
Seinfeld
"They stopped making that 20 years ago."
Seinfeld
"But first, we're talking with Jerry."
Seinfeld
"It was great. I've done it a few more times since then."
Seinfeld
"No. Not a thing."
Seinfeld
"Well, what kind of woman drinks an entire box of wine?"
Seinfeld
"Mr. Fowler, I have a squirrel here that is a miracle of modern science."
Seinfeld
"I told you, we're booked."
Seinfeld
"Careful. Hawks and squirrels don't get along together."
Seinfeld
"So the whole set was destroyed?"
Seinfeld
"Well, the squirrel kept scurrying and the hawk kept clawing."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you, it was a grind having to fill 1 0 hours a day."
Seinfeld
"I'm not sure I was ready to have my own talk show set."
Seinfeld
"I got the nut bread, George. Let's go."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he's in my bed."
Seinfeld
"Still getting nothing."
Seinfeld
"I'm getting in my car now, and the last I heard, we have no deal."
Seinfeld
"Oh, well, hey, I dated Jerry too. I know what a monster he can be."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, no. -All right, then what was it?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I like the sound it makes when you walk on it."
Seinfeld
"This stuff belongs in the Smithsonian."
Seinfeld
"Banana?"
Seinfeld
"Right."
Seinfeld
"I inherited them after he died from a long painful bout with--"
Seinfeld
"I'm putting this on him and we're going to the sink."
Seinfeld
"He's Lou Filerman. He's new here."
Seinfeld
"-So Miranda's cooled on you? -I'm getting nothing."
Seinfeld
"He just comes out of nowhere and he's right next to you."
Seinfeld
"I was sitting making Cup-a-Soup..."
Seinfeld
"Hakuna Matata?"
Seinfeld
"How did you get this in here?"
Seinfeld
"-So where are you gonna sleep? -Backstage."
Seinfeld
"...on the most fascinating people of the year."
Seinfeld
"-An Army Pete. -Right."
Seinfeld
"He was made of wood, in the rain he would swell up and then split."
Seinfeld
"You sidle? You stomp around like a Clydesdale."
Seinfeld
"Can you just get me an aspirin?"
Seinfeld
"Will not cause drowsiness."
Seinfeld
"This is incoherent drivel."
Seinfeld
"Mission accomplished. Back to base, Joe."
Seinfeld
"We could put him to sleep."
Seinfeld
"She's got that Mattel football game we loved."
Seinfeld
"You gotta get me over there."
Seinfeld
"Let's pause a moment."
Seinfeld
"-You wanted to see me, Elaine? -Yes, Lou."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"I think."
Seinfeld
"Have some more wine."
Seinfeld
"Four hours."
Seinfeld
"-Would you like to visit him? -Yes, he would."
Seinfeld
"It's not a pet. It's a wild invalid."
Seinfeld
"Me, me, me, me, me."
Seinfeld
"You know that batter is like 30 years old."
Seinfeld
"-That's the noise. -What?"
Seinfeld
"You haven't gone over to their side, have you?"
Seinfeld
"Bad voodoo."
Seinfeld
"-You've gotta stop using these. -Why?"
Seinfeld
"Well, Jerry, we have a little surprise for you. Come on out, Celia."
Seinfeld
"What is this? What is she doing here?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, you go ahead. I'm not finished taking this in."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, those hands. They never stop."
Seinfeld
"Well, are there any other options?"
Seinfeld
"So when I saw George with an 1 8-pound turkey and a box of wine..."
Seinfeld
"-You're like 8 years old. -Georgie."
Seinfeld
"So I am going to sidle the sidler."
Seinfeld
"Oh, just give me that."
Seinfeld
"That's interesting."
Seinfeld
"...and keep his tail elevated."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, you bombed. That story stunk worse than these chairs."
Seinfeld
"I'll ask the questions."
Seinfeld
"Who wants a cupcake?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, go ahead, pigeons. Laugh it up."
Seinfeld
"Do I hear wedding bells?"
Seinfeld
"...squirrel."
Seinfeld
"Well, at least we know that prosthetic squirrel hips work."
Seinfeld
"I understand there's a young lady in your life."
Seinfeld
"That infernal rattling that has plagued me..."
Seinfeld
"...with your toys growing up."
Seinfeld
"Where are the cameras?"
Seinfeld
"-Stop squirming. -Don't. This is where they change me."
Seinfeld
"You've got a lot going for you."
Seinfeld
"No, no, no, no. These brown things."
Seinfeld
"And it was his idea to put a sprig of parsley on the plate."
Seinfeld
"Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, me neither."
Seinfeld
"That's right, right."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, sit, sit."
Seinfeld
"...what was that like?"
Seinfeld
"It's the wrong card."
Seinfeld
"All right, let's take a short break."
Seinfeld
"El Paso. I spent a month there one night."
Seinfeld
"What do you mean, wrong kind?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I practically raised his kids."
Seinfeld
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