Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Dr. Ken - Ken Helps Pat (S01E01)

"those bastards charge me."
Dr. Ken
"And I was supposed to go to the WNBA draft."
Dr. Ken
"Unless it bleeds into tomorrow..."
Dr. Ken
"If I don't get eight or nine hours of sleep..."
Dr. Ken
"But the point is, I'm gonna do whatever it takes."
Dr. Ken
"Bring a windbreaker tonight."
Dr. Ken
"It gets a little nippy out on the yacht."
Dr. Ken
"You know what I think it's like?"
Dr. Ken
"Take the nickname?"
Dr. Ken
"All right, but I'd love to hear it first."
Dr. Ken
"I'm talking about the advice you gave our son."
Dr. Ken
"Well, in my defense,"
Dr. Ken
"He didn't. He told me."
Dr. Ken
"Why would you do that?"
Dr. Ken
"I'm trying to keep this a crisis..."
Dr. Ken
"Create demand for my nickname-eradication skills."
Dr. Ken
"- Okay. - No."
Dr. Ken
"If you need me, I'll be hanging with Klompers."
Dr. Ken
"I never should have put that little book"
Dr. Ken
"of old anger terms in the powder room."
Dr. Ken
"they could have given Dave..."
Dr. Ken
"Or Staple Boy, from the time he ate all those staples."
Dr. Ken
"His future therapist."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, that's on her. She choked in a social sitch."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, the kids are probably all like, "yo, everyone.""
Dr. Ken
""It's Klompers!""
Dr. Ken
"Or they could be like, "no, everyone, it's Klompers.""
Dr. Ken
"Or it could be, "guess who's here?""
Dr. Ken
""And he brought cider?!""
Dr. Ken
"I don't know. It's a harvest festival"
Dr. Ken
"but sometimes you're a little over-thinky."
Dr. Ken
"Trust me. This is so not a big deal."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, you may be right."
Dr. Ken
"I guess I should let this one go."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, Julia Louis Doofus was you, wasn't it?"
Dr. Ken
"So I'm looking for your boat,"
Dr. Ken
"but the old GPS here has me a good"
Dr. Ken
"30 miles from the nearest body of water."
Dr. Ken
"Is that you in the gray car?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, and that lamp, believe it or not,"
Dr. Ken
"This is way more "not in the water" than I expected."
Dr. Ken
"Anyway, about this Saturday thing..."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, my wife says she no longer loves me."
Dr. Ken
"Wow. Segue be damned."
Dr. Ken
"Which, funny story,"
Dr. Ken
"is located in our marital home,"
Dr. Ken
"which funny story,"
Dr. Ken
"is located just up that driveway."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, it only affects the lowers."
Dr. Ken
"Not you and me."
Dr. Ken
"No, we're just two rich guys on a yacht."
Dr. Ken
"Again, I got to throw a flag on "yacht.""
Dr. Ken
"I call them "friends with less money,""
Dr. Ken
"which isn't great, but it sells what I'm getting at."
Dr. Ken
"And I'm here to stand up for them."
Dr. Ken
"All right, well, we're gonna have to circle back to that."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, I asked you here because I need medical attention."
Dr. Ken
"Why, what's wrong?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, nothing yet."
Dr. Ken
"into my pinkie toe."
Dr. Ken
"Crudité?"
Dr. Ken
"Look, I've been to some weird parties..."
Dr. Ken
"Look, Ken..."
Dr. Ken
"See, over the course"
Dr. Ken
"Tiffany's come to view me as cold and unsympathetic."
Dr. Ken
"No!"
Dr. Ken
"It may sound crazy,"
Dr. Ken
"but I know when I pump this little piggy"
Dr. Ken
"She'll know that you're completely bananas?"
Dr. Ken
"No, whenever I was sick or injured,"
Dr. Ken
"Tiff would always shower me with love and attention."
Dr. Ken
"Ah, our marriage was never stronger"
Dr. Ken
"than when I shattered my coccyx breakdancing."
Dr. Ken
"you're gonna need to treat me."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, and I even got the crème brûlee torch out of our kitchen"
Dr. Ken
"So, what do you say, Ken?"
Dr. Ken
"No! What... no! What is wrong with you?"
Dr. Ken
"is gonna help win your wife back?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, of course not."
Dr. Ken
"by a drifter with a milky eye."
Dr. Ken
"No one would believe that. Oh, really?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, it would be your word against mine..."
Dr. Ken
"A respected business and yachtsman."
Dr. Ken
"who just found out he has to work on Saturdays."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, okay. So this is how it is?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah. So, what's it gonna be, Ken?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, of course. Yes. It's right in here."
Dr. Ken
"- Do you mind? - Oh! Yeah."
Dr. Ken
"Hi, Ken."
Dr. Ken
"Allison, I need..."
Dr. Ken
"Hold on."
Dr. Ken
"is about to possibly get away with murder."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, she did. What's up?"
Dr. Ken
"to try to win his wife back!"
Dr. Ken
"Okay, the most important thing is to not leave him alone."
Dr. Ken
"Hey!"
Dr. Ken
"Okay, listen, Pat, I don't like you."
Dr. Ken
"And?"
Dr. Ken
"And I don't think I'm ever gonna like you."
Dr. Ken
"But that's okay with me."
Dr. Ken
"Because you're unlikable."
Dr. Ken
"However, I can't let you do this."
Dr. Ken
"If you want to reboot your relationship,"
Dr. Ken
"it has to be on a foundation of honesty,"
Dr. Ken
"not injuring yourself"
Dr. Ken
"in a pathetic attempt to gain pity."
Dr. Ken
"But you are."
Dr. Ken
"I guess you're right, Ken."
Dr. Ken
"But I love her so much,"
Dr. Ken
"it just makes me want to do crazy things, you know?"
Dr. Ken
"But I appreciate your wisdom,"
Dr. Ken
"and it won't soon be forgotten."
Dr. Ken
"Thanks."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, so now that Governor Ken"
Dr. Ken
"where are we on the whole Saturday of it all?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, Ken-padre, please."
Dr. Ken
"Working Saturdays is not gonna happen."
Dr. Ken
"Everyone's gonna be so relieved and happy."
Dr. Ken
"Saturdays are very much happening"
Dr. Ken
"Sorry. Friends with less money."
Dr. Ken
Show more clips