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Clips from Nathan for You - Pet Store; Maid Service (S02E02)

"of four people who had agreed to work out of the back"
Nathan for You
"In the end, maybe there was nothing I could do"
Nathan for You
"Can I get a little rubby-dub-dub?"
Nathan for You
"- Nice. - Good one."
Nathan for You
"Good one. Good one."
Nathan for You
"(upbeat music)"
Nathan for You
"My name is Nathan Fielder,"
Nathan for You
"Canada's top business schools"
Nathan for You
"with really good grades."
Nathan for You
"to help struggling small business owners"
Nathan for You
"make it in this competitive world."
Nathan for You
"(sweeping orchestration)"
Nathan for You
"Aw. When something this cuddly is your product,"
Nathan for You
"knows that it takes more than just a cute little face"
Nathan for You
"sign advertising, flyers."
Nathan for You
"In The Burbank Times they run our ad continuously."
Nathan for You
"But effective advertising isn't about quantity."
Nathan for You
"So I came to Jennifer"
Nathan for You
"with a targeted way to reach potential customers."
Nathan for You
"When someone has a pet, and the pet dies,"
Nathan for You
"Absolutely. (pet sounds)"
Nathan for You
"Jolly!"
Nathan for You
"would be... at a pet cemetary."
Nathan for You
"The problem is most pet cemetaries"
Nathan for You
"don't allow advertisements."
Nathan for You
"- Right. - But there's no law"
Nathan for You
"about what you're allowed to put on a gravestone."
Nathan for You
"Pardon?"
Nathan for You
"By putting an ad for Pet Mania on a dead pet's tombstone,"
Nathan for You
"Jennifer would have a permanent billboard in a pet cemetery"
Nathan for You
"that would be seen by all the people"
Nathan for You
"The Plan: Market to mourners by advertising on a gravestone."
Nathan for You
"and some people are gonna take it another way."
Nathan for You
"Obviously, I would do this very tastefully"
Nathan for You
"while, at the same time, meet the advertising goals"
Nathan for You
"Okay."
Nathan for You
"In order to get a tombstone in a pet cemetery,"
Nathan for You
"I'd have to bury a real pet."
Nathan for You
"So the other night, I caught a fly in my kitchen"
Nathan for You
"and named it Buzz."
Nathan for You
"Even though Buzz would be easy to just swat dead,"
Nathan for You
"So I contacted one of the area's biggest pet cemeteries"
Nathan for You
"to book a date and a grave plot."
Nathan for You
"This is your pet."
Nathan for You
"It's unconditional love."
Nathan for You
"We'll treat you the same with the burial."
Nathan for You
"It's completely up to you."
Nathan for You
"Granted, I've never seen a fly come in here before,"
Nathan for You
"- There's not a problem with it. - With the arrangements made,"
Nathan for You
"Now it was just a matter of waiting until Buzz died."
Nathan for You
"I tried to make his remaining days somewhat enjoyable."
Nathan for You
"He quickly became a favorite around the office, too."
Nathan for You
"Then one day, when I came into work, Buzz wasn't moving."
Nathan for You
"I assumed he was dead,"
Nathan for You
"but I took him to a vet just to be sure."
Nathan for You
"With Buzz officially declared dead,"
Nathan for You
"So we headed down to the pet cemetery"
Nathan for You
"And since I'm Jewish, I hired a rabbi to conduct the service"
Nathan for You
"Buzz."
Nathan for You
"Okay. (laughs)"
Nathan for You
"I'm sorry."
Nathan for You
"- You laughed. - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"What is important is the connection that you have."
Nathan for You
"who works in our production office"
Nathan for You
"What do you know about judaism?"
Nathan for You
"they put on this little hat."
Nathan for You
"That's all I know."
Nathan for You
"Well, you're gonna learn a lot more about judaism today."
Nathan for You
"Yeah."
Nathan for You
"And as the rabbi approached the casket,"
Nathan for You
"I really did feel at peace."
Nathan for You
"(speaks Hebrew)"
Nathan for You
"Blessed are you, Adonai, creator of us all."
Nathan for You
"Would there be anyone that would like to"
Nathan for You
"share a little bit about Buzz?"
Nathan for You
"Do you want to go up and say something?"
Nathan for You
"I go in front right there?"
Nathan for You
"Yeah."
Nathan for You
"No, no, like this way."
Nathan for You
"Turn. Face me."
Nathan for You
"- Oh, like right here. - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"- You stand wherever you want. - Okay."
Nathan for You
"he was a friendly pet."
Nathan for You
"In a way, it's kind of-- it's funny because Buzz was a fly."
Nathan for You
"he's not flying anymore."
Nathan for You
"Thank you. Thank you."
Nathan for You
"Nathan, would you like to say a few words?"
Nathan for You
"After the service, one of Pet Haven's employees"
Nathan for You
"helped bury Buzz, and it was time to bring in his gravestone."
Nathan for You
"that will last over 600 years."
Nathan for You
"- But Mike wasn't impressed. - We need to talk about this."
Nathan for You
"Is it cool, or..."
Nathan for You
"Yeah. Mike was concerned it was too big."
Nathan for You
"I can't put it there because these are burial spots,"
Nathan for You
"so there's a lot of money involved."
Nathan for You
"What would it cost to keep it? $500?"
Nathan for You
"And within minutes, mourners were already taking notice"
Nathan for You
"at Pet Mania."
Nathan for You
"to show her what I had done for her business."
Nathan for You
"I think you'll find this is exactly what we agreed upon."
Nathan for You
"- Okay. - Okay, when I count to three,"
Nathan for You
"- Oh, my God."
Nathan for You
"Huh?"
Nathan for You
"I don't--I wasn't expecting that huge--"
Nathan for You
"Champagne."
Nathan for You
"Okay. Well..."
Nathan for You
"And even though some might just see it as an ad on a gravestone,"
Nathan for You
"to me, it was also the perfect tribute to a friend."
Nathan for You
"During the course of making my show,"
Nathan for You
"I've run into a surprising amount of people"
Nathan for You
"You remind me of the Wizard of Loneliness."
Nathan for You
"You're playing r-- really a dangerous game right now."
Nathan for You
"having a personality that people don't like is bad for business."
Nathan for You
"So for the first week of shooting my show this season,"
Nathan for You
"Tell me a little bit about your business."
Nathan for You
"We have the doors. We have mahogany wood."
Nathan for You
"We have oak."
Nathan for You
"Express yourself with your hands,"
Nathan for You
"with your shoulders, with anything."
Nathan for You
"Wow. That's really cool to hear."
Nathan for You
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