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Clips from Dr. Ken - Dave's Sex Talk (S01E01)

"He started asking me all these questions,"
Dr. Ken
"one after another."
Dr. Ken
"I thought it was only a few minutes,"
Dr. Ken
"but then I looked at my phone,"
Dr. Ken
"and it had been two hours."
Dr. Ken
"The sex talk my dad gave me lasted 25 cents."
Dr. Ken
"As soon as that was used up,"
Dr. Ken
"Ugh, I don't know!"
Dr. Ken
"Once I start talking,"
Dr. Ken
"I mean, I'm just a very oral person."
Dr. Ken
"That is not a bad thing."
Dr. Ken
"You wouldn't believe how many people"
Dr. Ken
"responded to that on my dating profile."
Dr. Ken
"Take me shopping."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, I would, Mom,"
Dr. Ken
"but Linen On The Edge"
Dr. Ken
"went out of business six years ago."
Dr. Ken
"I'm serious."
Dr. Ken
"Not to mention the 300 other moms"
Dr. Ken
"I saw at the Doobie Brothers show."
Dr. Ken
"Also..."
Dr. Ken
"one of the Doobie Brothers was wearing my scarf."
Dr. Ken
"Are you ready for people to be able to tell what gender you are"
Dr. Ken
"from more than 20 feet away?"
Dr. Ken
"I am."
Dr. Ken
"Congratulations. The hardest part is over."
Dr. Ken
"Just be warned,"
Dr. Ken
"whatever you wear to the store ain't coming home,"
Dr. Ken
"so you can kiss that sexy little burnt pumpkin number goodbye."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, Mom, just wanted you to know,"
Dr. Ken
"I'm all up to speed on sex stuff now."
Dr. Ken
"Way to not be weird about it."
Dr. Ken
"Hey! You finally did it!"
Dr. Ken
"What'd I do?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh. Right."
Dr. Ken
"Yep. I did it."
Dr. Ken
"At first..."
Dr. Ken
"not gonna do it,"
Dr. Ken
"but I did."
Dr. Ken
"Way to dad up!"
Dr. Ken
"Dave, how did you learn about sex?"
Dr. Ken
"She lectured me for about an hour,"
Dr. Ken
"followed by a spirited Q&A."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, why does he want to break up with me?!"
Dr. Ken
"Look..."
Dr. Ken
"you've only got one option here..."
Dr. Ken
"a PEB."
Dr. Ken
"- A what? - A preemptive breakup."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah."
Dr. Ken
"When you think someone's gonna dump you,"
Dr. Ken
"- you beat them to the punch. - Hmm."
Dr. Ken
"Take control of the narrative,"
Dr. Ken
"as in, "Hey, did you hear Clark dumped that fella?"
Dr. Ken
"He is not to be trifled with.""
Dr. Ken
"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!"
Dr. Ken
"What if Connor doesn't want to break up with you?"
Dr. Ken
"No. He does. I know it."
Dr. Ken
"I've been on the business end of too many"
Dr. Ken
""we need to talk" talks."
Dr. Ken
"The PEB is the way to go."
Dr. Ken
"Thank you, Pat."
Dr. Ken
"You're welcome."
Dr. Ken
"So... this is what it feels like to help people."
Dr. Ken
"I don't care for it."
Dr. Ken
"Julie, we need to talk."
Dr. Ken
"Will everyone please stop saying that?!"
Dr. Ken
"I've already packed my things."
Dr. Ken
"You did me a solid."
Dr. Ken
"I've been dreading having that conversation with Dave."
Dr. Ken
"Really?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, but what about Allison?"
Dr. Ken
"Is she mad at me?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, she doesn't know."
Dr. Ken
"She assumed I gave Dave the sex talk,"
Dr. Ken
"and I did not correct her."
Dr. Ken
"She hates being corrected, and I hate being caught."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, God, I'm so relieved!"
Dr. Ken
"I mean, she would've been hella pissed,"
Dr. Ken
"I would never put you in the path of that Mama Bear."
Dr. Ken
"Oh. Hey, Allison."
Dr. Ken
"I just got a call from Principal Michaels."
Dr. Ken
"talking to his classmates about sex."
Dr. Ken
"Well, that was bound to happen."
Dr. Ken
"I was the same way."
Dr. Ken
"When I learned about sex, I wouldn't shut up about it."
Dr. Ken
"Ask any of my med-school friends."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, that's sad, but it's not the issue."
Dr. Ken
"Like, really wrong."
Dr. Ken
"What did you tell him?"
Dr. Ken
"I didn't tell Dave anything! It was Julie!"
Dr. Ken
"You didn't have to come all the way here."
Dr. Ken
"I'm just so sorry."
Dr. Ken
"I-I didn't plan to talk to Dave about sex."
Dr. Ken
"I even tried to distract him with a baking soda volcano,"
Dr. Ken
"I know how persistent Dave can be"
Dr. Ken
"when he's curious."
Dr. Ken
"We once drove 200 miles to the Museum of Scones."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah."
Dr. Ken
"It's a huge racket."
Dr. Ken
"They don't sell jam."
Dr. Ken
"What I don't understand is"
Dr. Ken
"how Dave got the information so mixed up."
Dr. Ken
"was sex with three other people."
Dr. Ken
"Wait, do you think that?"
Dr. Ken
"Not... anymore."
Dr. Ken
"and I-I got nervous and panicked,"
Dr. Ken
"and I started mixing things up and forgetting things."
Dr. Ken
"It's okay."
Dr. Ken
"You're not the only person that's forgotten about foreplay."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Dr. Ken
"I thought you liked having more time to read."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, thank you for coming over."
Dr. Ken
"We appreciate it."
Dr. Ken
"not to talk to children about sex from now on."
Dr. Ken
"Good rule."
Dr. Ken
"Man, can you believe her?"
Dr. Ken
"What a mess she made!"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, really? So this is Julie's fault?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, it's not mine."
Dr. Ken
"If you recall,"
Dr. Ken
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