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Clips from Gilmore Girls - The Third Lorelai (S01E01)

"historical facts, and intellectual trivia."
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"Siri, Mr. Gilmore's hungry."
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"It's just like that woman, no warnings, no discussion..."
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"and stupid naked angels with their butts!"
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"- Agreed. - Ditto."
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"we'll also need a king and queen."
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"- Why won't you be queen? - I'll be queen."
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"I'll be the lady in waiting..."
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"- What? - Watch a movie."
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"We are talking about government class. Not the movies."
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"- We're working all weekend? - You're kidding."
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"- Right. How about 'doctrine'? - Better."
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"- You double-clicked on 'Confirmation'? - I double-clicked."
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"I don't know what you have done."
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"Well..."
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"You gave me a secondhand present, like something you got at the junk store."
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"- So, we're supposed to talk. - Yeah. Look, about the other night..."
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"- You don't think I can? - No. I think you can."
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"I had to pay you $5 once so you wouldn't go in sweats."
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"It has nothing to do with Grandma hating Great-grandma?"
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"- I promise. - Internal reveling only."
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"Wait."
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"So the internal reveling can continue for years to come."
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"God, this thing weighs like 1,000 pounds."
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"Okay, quiet. Be quiet."
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"Mom, thanks for the direction and all, but we need some help."
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"How'd you get her in here without her noticing it wasn't there?"
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"I brought her in through the back and had Stella wax the floors."
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"If I wanted to look, I would look. I haven't looked."
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"- Gilmores don't get sick. Am I right? - We wouldn't dare, Trix."
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"Where are those spiced nuts that Trix likes?"
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"gotten pregnant out of wedlock..."
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"However, I've always appreciated self-sufficiency."
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"So, Gran, when was the last time I saw you?"
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"I see you've taken care of that."
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"But it's temporary. It's a loan."
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"- Did you bring coffee? - And doughnuts in the shape of clowns."
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"Those who find it themselves have something to say when it rings."
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"He just asked me out."
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"Five-minute talking break while I change."
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"There is money on the kitchen table."
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"It looks like you're not wearing anything, which is why I liked it."
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"- This whole thing is insane. - Why?"
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"Why not?"
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"But that was after we'd been dating a little."
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"Tonight is about you going out with Tristan in this outfit."
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"- Lf you think it looks okay... - The word 'amazing' was used."
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"Do you consider Shakespeare a wise man?"
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"Sure."
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"Gran, I don't know what to say. That's so generous of you."
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"There's still some ways I may come in handy, buying beer and stuff."
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"- She'll move out as soon as she can. - So what?"
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"Why should she wait to backpack across Europe with you?"
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"- I haven't told her yet. - What?"
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"- Do you believe what she said? - I don't know."
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"You're right, she wants to mess with my mind..."
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"and make me feel obligated."
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"- Come on. - I couldn't stand that."
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"I don't care if she buys a house, or a boat, or the Elephant Man's bones."
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"If I had access to all that money as a kid..."
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"- Faster than 17? - No, I mean..."
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"I have to change and go to tea with Gran and the cast of Gaslight."
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"You have got to get her to take that offer back."
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"If I do as you ask, I'll be insulting my mother."
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"I don't care if she demeans me and looks down on me."
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"I don't care if she thinks I'm the Whore of Babylon."
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"But that woman is horrible and selfish. She cannot get away with this."
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"If she gets that money, Lorelai will never come back here."
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"I shall die soon, you know."
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"You said you'd try."
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"Yeah, I'm not over Summer yet."
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"You haven't told her that now she has her own money for school..."
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"There's something seriously wrong with you. You should be studied."
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"Okay, I'm gonna go find a payphone."
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"Have a sandwich?"
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"- That's what you have to say to me? - What do you want me to say?"
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"- That's what I want you to say. Say that. - I will not."
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"a little earlier than I had anticipated."
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"Plus, I really don't wish to witness..."
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"Here Rory had this wonderful opportunity, and we... And I..."
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"Are you sure?"
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"- See you Friday? - See you Friday."
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"- We did. We finished. - Finished early."
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"I totally understand."
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"Everyone's awfully quiet tonight."
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"- Sorry, Mom, I'm just tired. - Me, too."
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"- School. - Work."
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"- Life. - Dig it, man."
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"- Peace out, Humphrey. - Mystery."
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"This is ridiculous. Three intelligent women sitting here in complete silence."
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"There must be something to talk about."
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"Do you know that every night at dinner..."
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"the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates..."
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"about everything under the sun?"
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"The Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedys."
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"So, come on, somebody say something."
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"Do you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?"
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"Camelot is truly dead."
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"- Emily. - In here. Just follow the crickets."
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"I am sorry I'm late, but I come bearing wonderful news."
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"Siri, bring Mr. Gilmore a plate."
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"I just got off the phone."
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"I'm perfectly capable of putting a napkin on my lap."
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"All right, I'm sorry."
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"- You were on the phone. - Long distance."
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"- God? - London."
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"- God lives in London? - My mom lives in London."
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"Your mother is God? So, God is a woman."
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"And a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna ask for favors."
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"- Make her stop. - Oh, that I could."
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"- You spoke with your mother. - Yes. She's fine and sends her love..."
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"- and she's coming to visit. - What?"
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"- You're kidding. - When?"
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"- I'm gonna get to meet my great-grandma? - Lorelai I."
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"- I was named after her. - I figured."
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"- Richard, when? - You'll love her. My mother's brilliant."
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"- We share that also. - I'm asking a question here."
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"Does no one hear me? Am I suddenly invisible?"
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"I'm sorry. What was the question?"
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"- When is your mother arriving? - A week from today."
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