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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Las Vegas (S05E05)

"- Mr. Pritchett? - Yes, hi."
Modern Family (2009)
"All right, I'll see you in 90 minutes."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Enjoy. - Thank you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Mr. Tucker?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Mr. Tucker?"
Modern Family (2009)
"We had a few no-shows for the Britney concert, so-"
Modern Family (2009)
"One, please."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. What about Mitchell?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't need to know what he's doing."
Modern Family (2009)
"So if you see him, maybe don't mention what I'm doing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Rasputin's Dalmatian drowned in the Volga."
Modern Family (2009)
"I thought he was allergic to dogs."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're thinking of Merlin, and it was peanuts."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, everybody. We have a visitor."
Modern Family (2009)
"Welcome Phil Dunphy."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Hi. - Hey, Phil."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm so honored to be here."
Modern Family (2009)
"Wow. You may recognize my- my screen name, abracadunphyl7."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's you? You're up in the middle of the night a lot."
Modern Family (2009)
"My wife grinds her teeth."
Modern Family (2009)
"But let me tell you another story."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's about the miracle of metamorphosis."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Uh, Phil- - They say the only constant is change-"
Modern Family (2009)
"Phil, we're gonna get to your trick in just a minute."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. I'm sorry."
Modern Family (2009)
"Got a little excited there."
Modern Family (2009)
"The heroes of the underground magic blogosphere-"
Modern Family (2009)
"Flashpaper Finelli, Kaiser Mayhem, The Kid!"
Modern Family (2009)
"When you think about it, it's crazy they're all alive at the same time."
Modern Family (2009)
"Jay, I'm feeling a little cold. Maybe I should buy a scarf."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sure, get a couple of 'em."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why, I know it's a little extravagant..."
Modern Family (2009)
"but we're Excelsior now- might as well look it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Many years ago, when Jay was in Las Vegas..."
Modern Family (2009)
"he bought Barkley, the doggie butler."
Modern Family (2009)
"I hate Barkley."
Modern Family (2009)
"I knew if Jay saw Rebarka, he would want her too."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, that's her name- Rebarka."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, but, uh- you know, if we're going to gamble..."
Modern Family (2009)
"maybe I need my lucky sweater."
Modern Family (2009)
"Can you go and get it in the room?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Who has a lucky sweater? - You wore two different shoes to watch the Super Bowl."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Fine. - No, Jay!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Other way."
Modern Family (2009)
"I like that way."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sorry, sir. This is a private elevator."
Modern Family (2009)
"No need to apologize. I'm glad you're on top of this stuff."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's only for the Excelsior level."
Modern Family (2009)
"This elevator goes to the top floor."
Modern Family (2009)
"I thought Excelsior was the top- 62."
Modern Family (2009)
"Mandalay Bay has 63 floors."
Modern Family (2009)
"Top floor is Excelsior Plus."
Modern Family (2009)
"Wait, they're allowed up there? They're wearing dungarees."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sixty-one, 62, 63."
Modern Family (2009)
"Son of a bitch!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Come on, let me see an eight."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I wanna see an eight. - Seven out."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Sorry. - We'll get 'em next time, baby."
Modern Family (2009)
"Claire, give me your key. I need to charge something to your room."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Hang on a second. - Four. Point is four."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, odds on four, and a five each on "C" and "E.""
Modern Family (2009)
"What are you talking about?"
Modern Family (2009)
"It's the lady version of Barkley."
Modern Family (2009)
"I have to put it on hold so that Jay, if he sees it, he can't buy it..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and then I will cancel the charge before we leave."
Modern Family (2009)
"Winner- four the hard way!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, yes! Finally!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Claire, the key."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, no, honey. You're not going anywhere."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're my good luck charm."
Modern Family (2009)
"Give these a blow, beautiful."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. How was your massage?"
Modern Family (2009)
"So re- So, so relaxing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sorry, my masseuse was blasting the Enya."
Modern Family (2009)
"So what are you gonna do next? A long soak?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- A long sauna? - I think a sauna."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Yeah, I think I'm gonna do a soak. - Ooh, a soak does sound nice."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Maybe I'll do a sauna. - Is that- Is that glitter on your face?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh. Yeah, I think my masseuse might moonlight."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I'll see you in an hour. - Okay. Enjoy it. Really have fun."
Modern Family (2009)
"Relax, Mitchell."
Modern Family (2009)
"Phil, you're up."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. The miracle... of metamorphosis."
Modern Family (2009)
"They say the only constant is change."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, all of that is about to ch- be different."
Modern Family (2009)
"Note the simple burlap sack, the kind you'd find in any home."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'll endeavor to prove that some change is glacial..."
Modern Family (2009)
"while some change is instantaneous."
Modern Family (2009)
"Now if you'd be so kind as to raise the simple burlap sack above my head..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and pinch my wrists."
Modern Family (2009)
"You'll note the clock says exactly 4:02."
Modern Family (2009)
"I have 3:15."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, I have 6:35. Kaiser Mayhem!"
Modern Family (2009)
"It's what I do."
Modern Family (2009)
"Wait, it's 5:20? I actually have to call my wife."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, no, Phil. You can't just stop in the middle of a trick."
Modern Family (2009)
"- That's a cardinal rule. - Guys, it's an emergency."
Modern Family (2009)
"Don't tell me you've never had to call your spouse."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, there's- there's people for you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Come on, Claire. Please pick up."
Modern Family (2009)
"And the lady wins again."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yes! Yes! I did it. I did it."
Modern Family (2009)
"I did it. I won back my money."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, suck it, the house."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, okay, here you go. And, hey, buy yourself something sparkly."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Gloria, there's a floor above us. - What?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I know. it threw me too. Excelsior Plus."
Modern Family (2009)
"But to the people on that floor, we're Excelsior Minus."
Modern Family (2009)
"- What is up there? - You need a black card to get in."
Modern Family (2009)
"All we've got is this stupid silver one."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, I thought it was platinum."
Modern Family (2009)
"- It's crap. - Uh, why-"
Modern Family (2009)
"why don't you call your friend Burt..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and tell him that we need the black card?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I think I heard him cough one time on a conference call."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't know why he would treat me this way."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Oh, come on! - What?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, come on! You're Jay Pritchett."
Modern Family (2009)
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