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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Officer Krupke (S07E07)

"I remember you from the fire."
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"'Cause I couldn't hang around till the store opened."
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"And I need to pay for the ones I'm wearing."
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"I don't see... they're not... they're not here."
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"What are you... how could they not be there?"
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"Every night they completely clean out the dressing room,"
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"and anything that's in there they put it in here"
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"in the lost and found and it's not... it's not here."
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"- So you've lost my pants? - I'm... I'm sorry, they're gone."
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"So how would you like to pay for those?"
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"if you lost my pants? That doesn't seem fair."
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"First of all, we didn't lose them. They're gone."
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"- There's a difference between lost and gone? - Yes."
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"- Lost is different than gone. - They're lost and gone."
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"If they're lost, they'd be here in the lost and found."
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"They're gone and that's the difference."
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"No, if they were lost, they wouldn't be there."
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"They'd be lost, which they are."
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"we're not responsible for any lost items."
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"Good for you. I got a sign at my house, okay?"
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"- That's my sign. - That's a stupid made-up sign."
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"Of course I don't have a sign like that."
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"I just made it up for the purposes of this discussion."
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"- It's obvious I made it up. - I don't know what you believe."
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"You might believe these things you say."
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"So you might believe that I put up a sign in my bedroom that says"
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""if you take my pants, I take yours"?"
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"So it's not that unfathomable."
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"Okay, you have to replace my pants."
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"I'm not gonna pay for these pants."
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"No, 'cause you're gonna walk around with a security tag on that"
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"and someone's gonna arrest you or something."
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"It's like a Scarlet letter."
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"I'm happy to wear the Scarlet letter."
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"- Call me hester. - I won't call you hester."
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"- Call me hester. - I won't call you hester."
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"You're not... sir, you cannot leave with those pants."
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"- Really? - ( alarm beeping )"
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"- Larry. - Hi."
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"What are you doing? I thought you were gonna get your other pants."
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"They lost them, so I took these."
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"- Um... - oh, no."
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"- I wasn't good. - No, you were great."
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"- You weren't good, you were great. - Oh, god."
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"But I don't know."
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"Jerry wants to give it to Virginia."
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"I'm so sorry."
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"- I thought this was a formality. - I thought so too."
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"- I thought so too. - Oh, gosh."
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"- And I'm sorry. I apologize. - Virginia got it?"
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"I mean, she'll be... She'll be great."
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"- That's good. - Ugh."
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"We actually all got together,"
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"Dennis and Virginia and me, and had lunch."
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"Got a little crazy, actually."
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"Dennis, after a few glasses of wine..."
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"Oh, you know, Virginia went to the bathroom"
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"and he asked me if I was interested in a menage a trois."
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"I mean, I was..."
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"- That's funny. - That's funny?"
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"I don't find that funny at all. Who does he think he is?"
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"- First of all, you're my ex-wife, okay? - Okay."
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"If you're gonna have a menage a trois with anybody,"
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"Why would I want to be in a menage a trois with you?"
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"I'd prefer that it would be with me, that's all."
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"- He was serious? - Yeah, he was serious."
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"It's a lot more money, but I can do it for you."
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"Look, I'll meet you in 20 minutes, all right?"
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"You asked my wife to be in a threesome?"
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"- Wife? - Yes."
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"- You mean ex-wife. - Whatever."
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"- There's a difference. - No, there is no difference."
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"You don't need to concern yourself with the difference, okay?"
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"All right, fine."
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"Yes, I asked your ex-wife"
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"if she would like to be in a threesome with my current wife."
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"- What is wrong with you? - What's it to you, Larry?"
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"- What's it to me? - Yeah."
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"Because I-i have feelings for her"
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"and I don't need you to defile her, okay?"
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"I would not be defiling her."
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"Yeah, I've heard that bullshit."
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"She's not interested in doing anything"
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"in the privacy of your home, okay?"
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"That remains to be seen."
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"What does that mean?"
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"Larry, just because Cheryl is curious"
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"doesn't mean you have any right to get mad at me, okay?"
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"- Chill out. - Curious?"
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"- Did you say curious? - Curious."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- What are you doing? - Nothing."
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"What do you mean nothing? What's all this fidget?"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"I'm talking about your underwear."
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"Uncomfortable or something?"
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"All of a sudden out of nowhere?"
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"Really? Where'd you buy them?"
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"- Online. - Online?"
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"That's a load of shit. You don't know how to use a computer."
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"The last man on earth, but you don't know how to use a computer."
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"- How do you buy it online? - My assistant buys it for me."
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"- What site does she buy it from? - Hi hi hi."
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"You always have to talk about some stuff."
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"Clearly she is not believing a word of this."
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"- I thought she was buying it at first. - She's not buying it."
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"- It's crazy. - I'm doing the best I can, you know."
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"- Slight transvestite? - Yes."
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"It's a comfort thing. Don't add a transvestite level to this."
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"A guy who wears women's underwear is... is part tranny."
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"- He's not part tranny. - He's part tranny."
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"No, you're crazy. He wants comfort."
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"You're comfortable, that's it."
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"You're Larry David and you like comfort"
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"in women's panties, all right?"
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"Simple. - No, it's not so simple. It's not so simple."
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"- Shh shh! - I don't know how to play that."
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"- I like the comfort of woman's panties. - That's it, that's all."
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"- How do you play... - Ask me a question."
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"- Where do you get your underwear? - Many different places."
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