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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Officer Krupke (S07E07)

"* oh, officer krupke, what are we to do? *"
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"- that's... that's the same guy. - It is?"
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"- Boy: He used a bad word, mom. - Oh my god."
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"What a jerk."
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"It's a good plan, but it's just gotta be natural."
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"You can't just... you know, it's gotta be natural."
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"- I understand that. - Okay."
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"- Jeff? - Yeah?"
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"Virginia got in a really bad car accident."
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"What? - Her neck is all fucked up. She's in a brace."
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"I saw her car. There's not a scratch on it."
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"No, she did, Larry, okay?"
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"She was driving Dennis's car, asshole know-it-all."
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"- Jeff: His car's... - ( knocking at door )"
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"Susie: His car is all fucked up. Who's that?"
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"Officer krupke: Yes, ma'am, I'm looking for Larry David."
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"Susie: Come right in."
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"Yeah. Hey, Jeff, it's officer krupke."
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"- Oh, yeah, like from "West Side story." - From "West Side story.""
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"We received a call about you using obscenities"
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"against a woman and her children."
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"What? That's ridiculous."
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"I didn't say fuck you. I said krup you."
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"Krup you!"
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"Where'd you get those pants?"
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"There's a security tag on those pants."
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"I traded them because they took my pants, so I took these."
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"- Give me the pants. - What are you talking about?"
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"- Okay, fine. - You don't have to do this here."
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"I don't care. Okay, here."
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"Susie: Oh my god! Jesus Christ!"
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"Who are you?"
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"I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties."
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"( Doorbell chimes )"
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"* we never had the love every child oughta get *"
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"* there is good. - * there is good, there is good *"
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"* there is untapped good"
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"* like inside the worst of us is good... *"
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"* the trouble is he's lazy *"
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"* the trouble is he stinks *"
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"* 'cause no one loves a fellow with a social disease *"
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"( Theme music playing )"
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"If Sammi doesn't want to take clarinet anymore, she doesn't want to."
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"- I don't wanna push her. - You're the one who pushed it, not me."
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"- God, where's the tissues? - I don't know."
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"I'm having an allergy attack."
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"What is this?"
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"What is this, Jeff? Whose panties are these?"
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"- Uh... - what the fuck is this?"
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"It's your car. What are these doing in there?"
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"All right, pull the fuck over."
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"Pull over."
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"I really hate shopping for pants."
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"- Seriously, what's worse than trying on pants? - Exactly."
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"- All right. - ( Alarm blaring )"
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"What the hell's going... What's... what's this?"
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"Jesus."
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"Hey, what's going on?"
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"Fire alarm."
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"- Is that your name? - Yeah."
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"- Krupke? - Mm-hmm."
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"- Really? - Yeah, Matt krupke."
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"- You're officer krupke. - I am."
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"Familiar with "West Side story"?"
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"- No, sir. - What?"
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"- Okay. - You're officer krupke."
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"- You never heard the song? - No, sir."
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"* oh, officer krupke, what are we to do? *"
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"* gee, officer krupke, krup you. *"
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"- you never heard that? - No."
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"- No? - No."
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"But in the '50s on Broadway,"
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"sondheim, he couldn't write "fuck you.""
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"So "krup you" is a substitute for "fuck you.""
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"Mmm. - Has anybody ever said "krup you"?"
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"- No. - Huh."
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"Some guy told me to go fuck my face once."
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"Okay."
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"How much longer?"
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"- An hour, maybe two. - Really?"
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"Are you kidding? I'm not gonna wait that long."
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"- Okay, thank you. - Thank you."
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"* dear kindly sergeant krupke, you gotta understand *"
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"* it's just our bringin' upke that gets us outta hand *"
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"* our mothers all are junkies, our fathers all are drunks *"
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"* golly, Moses, naturally we're punks *"
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"* gee, officer krupke, we're very upset... *"
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"( whispering ) hold on, hold on."
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"Come here. Come here, shh."
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"I need your help so bad."
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"She found a pair of panties"
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"in my glove compartment."
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"- No, I am not kidding you. - How the hell did you do that?"
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"I forget they were even in there. I forgot..."
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"I told her they were your panties."
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"I told her you like wearing women's panties."
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"Where the fuck did you come up with that? What does that mean?"
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"I think it's pretty brilliant, actually."
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"You're gonna cover for me, right?"
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"They're your panties, right?"
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"- Why not? - I'm embarrassed."
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"- Nothing to be embarrassed about. - I've got panties on."
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"- Only she knows. - How am I supposed to act now?"
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"Normal. Panties up here, not..."
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"You just know you've got them on"
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"and maybe you're a little more comfortable than normal."
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"A little more at ease. Maybe a little... little kinder."
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"Odd yet brilliant."
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"My best one ever maybe."
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"- All right. - You're a friend."
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"You're a fucking friend."
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"Thank you. Oh, thank you. Come on."
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"Susie: God."
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"- Larry: Hi, hey. - Dennis: Hello hello hello."
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"Hey, Virginia, hi."
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"- Dennis, hello. - It's nice to see you. It's a pleasure."
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"- How's the golf game? - Good good, yeah."
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"Larry, you have a security tag on your pants."
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"- Oh, yeah. - ( Virginia laughs )"
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"That's weird. Why?"
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