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Clips from NewsRadio - Assistant (S05E05)

"What was that sound?"
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"What up?"
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"Matthew!"
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"Did you go to the bathroom in there?!"
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"I thought we had an unspoken agreement."
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"I've been using the ladies' room."
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"Yeah, me too."
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"I didn't go to the bathroom. I just...christened it."
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"You ruined the whole damn thing!"
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"actually, do you mind if we talk just before we go?"
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"I guess it goes without saying that I'm really, really enjoying"
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"this, uh... This instant rapport that we've--"
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"We've...found here."
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"And, uh, I could honestly... [SIGHS]"
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"...stare into your eyes for all eternity."
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"But we should try to cool it around the office"
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"for a little while, okay? Why?"
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"Well, it's Joe, you see. He's a friend of mine."
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"And... And I think he's feeling a little hurt."
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"Well, he'll get over it."
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"Sure. In the due course of time, he will."
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"Well, how can you be so sure?"
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"That's very kind of you."
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"I'm attracted to you too. Uh-huh."
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"Brains and...brawn."
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"So you want to date both of us?"
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"Look, I just want to have a little fun, okay? Yeah."
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"I just got out of a serious relationship with three men."
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"Dave...we are all mature adults here."
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"I don't think I am."
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"Joe, can you come in here, please?"
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"Are you serious?"
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"I couldn't do that."
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"[SIGHS] Well...I have to say I'm..."
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"I'm a little disappointed in both of you."
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"how to put that brain..."
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"in this body..."
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"All right. Then I guess you owe me a T-shirt."
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"One that says "Dave's girlfriend wanted to do me.""
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"Joe, I'm afraid I could never take"
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"that T-shirt away from my father."
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"Just thought I'd enjoy the place while it's still here."
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"Yes. Apparently Matthew was going to the bathroom in here."
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"But the cognac's still good."
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"Ah."
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"Matthew sat in that chair naked."
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"Thank you."
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"Uh, Foxy quit, by the way."
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"Mm-hm. Well, sorry to hear it."
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"It's okay. I didn't have that much for her to do."
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"That's all right. I mean,"
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"Yes, as we've proven at least twice."
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"Mm-hm."
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"Here's to the disaster of office romances."
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"Yeah. Cheers."
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"So, uh..."
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"you wanna lock the door and walk around naked?"
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"Not a chance."
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"Well... Just putting it out there."
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"Well, you better just..."
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"put it right back in."
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"[♪]"
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"Max, you didn't actually go into the ladies' room, did you?"
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"You ever try taking a nap in a urinal?"
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"I hadn't thought about that. Now that you mention--"
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"Uh, you probably forgot that you don't have an assistant."
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"which the company will pay for."
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"Uh, excuse me. Is there a Lisa Miller here?"
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"No, it's, uh-- It's nothing like that."
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"Okay. Ladies and gents. Boys and girls. Children of all ages."
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"It's a love seat. [LAUGHS]"
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"men's room."
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"I gotta go to another floor to use the bathroom."
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"[HUMS]"
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"dirty words in Italian."
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"Yeah. Mm."
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"Hm."
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"Ta."
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"Oh. P-p--"
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"No. Why is that?"
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"Members only."
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"No, thanks. I'm not hungry."
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"So...where else have you traveled, huh?"
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"Seems a little puffy, you know?"
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"I'm hungry. Do you want to get something to eat?"
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"You lead the way, all right. Thanks."
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"FOXY: Hey, Lis."
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"Dave."
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"Yeah."
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"Yeah. No problem."
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"Hey, Joe."
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"You wouldn't be interested in helping me"
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"Just putting it out there. You'd be doing me a real favor."
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"to this candidate's qualifications."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Oh, no, no. Relax, fellow club members."
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"Sure. What about?"
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"Let's talk to Joe, okay?"
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"Mmm. No, no. Just two equally good men."
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"office romances never do work out, do they?"
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"in the break room."
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"Dave. I don't believe this. You're as bad as Joe."
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"Oh, this is nice. Mm-hm."
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"No. No."
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"There you go. Thank you."
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"Oh, no. All over my shirt."
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"Please. I am serious."
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"[♪]"
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"I don't know her. I called my college alumni placement center"
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"[CHUCKLES]"
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"Oh. We ought to get along great."
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"Listen, by the way, um,"
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"it was nothing, really."
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"This is the men's restroom."
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"Ah, this is sweet."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Is this true?"
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"And...I'm just not ready for a commitment right now."
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"Ah. So, here."
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"No. No."
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