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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Rudolf Nureyev (S02E02)

"he is creative, he is artistic."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, no, it's OK. He phoned in, he's running a little bit late."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh! Thank goodness."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Now, remember, when Mr. Nureyev arrives,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"we must be dignified, we must be respectful."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Ah! - I'm here."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Not for long, you are not."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"We are waiting for Mr. Nureyev."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Hey... - I'll handle this."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Get out of here, you freak. You hippie! You weirdo, get out!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Move, move! Get a haircut!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Who do these punk kids think they are?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That one thinks he's Rudolph Nureyev."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What? - [stammers] That was Rudolph Nureyev."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What have I done? [gasps]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I think I'll go out and introduce something cultural."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[groans]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, uh, now in keeping with our tone"
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"of culture and classicism,"
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"we proudly present the love duet"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"from the third act of The Barber of Die Fliedremaus."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, by Giusseppe Vagner..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"...or Giusseppe Wagner."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Um... whatever."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ duet from Don Giovanni]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[singing in Italian]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[singing in Italian]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[crashing]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- [magnet humming] - [both screaming]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yep, and that was nothing like it!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Mr. Nureyev, will you ever forgive me?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What? - I just talked to him."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He isn't angry, he's putting on his costume"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- for his big ballet number. - Oh! Bless you, frog."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, thank you for these glad tidings."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And what ballet, may I ask,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"is the incomparable Mr. Nureyev going to perform?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, Swine Lake."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh... Swine Lake?!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, ladies and gentlemen,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"in the classic ballet Swine Lake,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"a beautiful princess has been turned into a pig"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, unfortunately, the handsome prince,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"there's a handsome prince, too,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the handsome prince hasn't heard about the change."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Here, then, the very princely, Mr. Rudolph Nureyev."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[applause]"
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"- [music ends] - [audience applauds]"
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"[up-tempo music plays]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And four toes on each foot ♪"
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"♪ I've got six days in my week ♪"
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"♪ And up with this I will not put ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I'm a bath without a plug and I'm a handle with no jug ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I'm a kiss without a hug unless you're near me ♪"
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"♪ I've got three strings on my violin and I'm an only twin ♪"
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"♪ Something's... ♪"
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"♪ Now, my cat has only got eight lives ♪"
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"♪ He chases two blind mice ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ On my birthday when I get three cheers ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ They only cheer me twice ♪"
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"♪ I'm an oil well with no oil ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And I'm a plant that has no soil ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I'm a kettle that won't boil unless you're near me ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Two and two make three when I add ♪"
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"♪ You're an orphan says my dad ♪"
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"♪ Something's missing something's missing ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Something's... ♪"
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"♪ But whenever you come close to me my life is all complete ♪"
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"♪ For no longer do I have four toes, no longer two left feet ♪"
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"♪ I'm a playground full of swings ♪"
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"♪ And I'm an eagle with his wings ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ I'm a nightingale that sings because you're near me ♪"
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"♪ Now, my love I beg you stay ♪"
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"♪ 'Cause when you stay then I can say ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[both] ♪ Nothing's missing Nothing's missing ♪"
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"♪ Nothing's miss... ♪"
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"♪ ...ing ♪"
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"[man] And now, Veterinarian's Hospital."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"our quack who has gone to the dogs"
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"Prithee, nurse, who beith our next patient?"
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"Why, this little piglet, sire."
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"Not piglet, Hamlet."
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"Remember, we're doing Shakespeare."
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"Hmm, sounds more like bacon."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Say, this patient needs a transfusion."
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"What's his blood type?"
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"Well, make up your mind, Two-B or not Two-B."
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"Gadzooks, they have no shame."
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"- Zounds. - Zounds what?"
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"Zounds terrible."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That frog wanted Shakespeare, he's getting Shakespeare."
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"But you're a doctor, first."
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"Right, doctor first, Richard the second, Henry the fourth."
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"Methinks we should take our leave."
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"- Why? - Look at the time."
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"- Are you calling me a shrew? - If the shrew fits..."
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"[man] So we leave Veterinarian's Hospital-on-Avon."
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"Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr. Bob say,"
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"Alas, poor pork, I knew thee well."
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"Now that really offended me."
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"I'm a student of Shakespeare."
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"[scoffs] You were a student with Shakespeare."
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"- [clears throat] Kermie? - Uh, yes, Miss Piggy."
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"May I speak with you about our duet?"
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"What? Is something wrong with it?"
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"Wrong? Why it's wonderful!"
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"Oh, at last, a mature and passionate love duet"
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"between me and my Kermie."
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"Ah, well, you're not doing it with me."
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"No, you're gonna do it with Rudolph Nureyev."
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"Coming Rudy!"
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"My Uncle Kermit can't make the next introduction,"
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"he's trying to get the spiked heel marks off his throat."
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"So, I guess I'll fill in."
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"Here, once again, the multi-talented Rudolph Nureyev."
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"Holy maracas!"
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"Uh, don't you, uh, talk to strangers?"
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"Depends on how strange the stranger is."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[laughing] Oh, what a wonderful sense of humor you have."
The Muppet Show (1976)
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