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Clips from Shameless - It's Time to Kill the Turtle (S01E01)

"Holy fuck!"
Shameless
"I'm ready for you, sir."
Shameless
"What are you doing? Clyde usually had me on Tuesdays,"
Shameless
"but if you want me on Saturdays..."
Shameless
"No, I don't want you on Saturdays,"
Shameless
"- Hey, Kev, we're all ready to... - Whoa."
Shameless
"Uh..."
Shameless
"No, Lip. Lip, wait!"
Shameless
"So it's "with Max and me?""
Shameless
"Yep. Sounds weird."
Shameless
"Douchebags."
Shameless
"Assface."
Shameless
"Hold the handle down when you flush."
Shameless
"Okay."
Shameless
"Hey."
Shameless
"You want a pizza bagel?"
Shameless
"Sure."
Shameless
"Show of hands: how many of you know Word?"
Shameless
"Take a moment now to use the toolbar and experiment"
Shameless
"For you! For you! I love you! Yeah!"
Shameless
"Did you see that? Yeah! Go, Dad!"
Shameless
"Guys, don't... get too used to this, okay?"
Shameless
"What?"
Shameless
"Well, Dad's not always going to be so nice."
Shameless
"No. Not when he starts drinking again, okay?"
Shameless
"He'll go back to his old ways"
Shameless
"and I don't want you two getting hurt."
Shameless
"Hurt?"
Shameless
"All right, Deb, here's the spare!"
Shameless
"Yeah!"
Shameless
"Um, remember that turtle you had last summer?"
Shameless
"Walter?"
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"Yeah, yeah. Walter."
Shameless
"And you guys were really, really into him for like, two weeks."
Shameless
"And you talked to him,"
Shameless
"and you fed him."
Shameless
"And you took him everywhere with you, right?"
Shameless
"But after a while,"
Shameless
"you know, you guys got busy with other things."
Shameless
"So... Walter's water never got changed,"
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"and nobody fed him."
Shameless
"he was all dried up and dead."
Shameless
"see, you guys are that turtle, okay?"
Shameless
"And Dad's you."
Shameless
"You get what I'm saying?"
Shameless
"No."
Shameless
"Don't worry, Lip. I get it."
Shameless
"Daddy's going to forget all about us"
Shameless
"when he starts drinking again."
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"It's okay. I don't mind."
Shameless
"I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts,"
Shameless
"if that's okay."
Shameless
"Yeah, sure, Debs. That's, um..."
Shameless
"that's a good plan."
Shameless
"Took you long enough."
Shameless
"Yeah. Your dad was in there forever."
Shameless
"Shove over, faggots."
Shameless
"Okay. That's, uh, 36 bucks."
Shameless
"I got it."
Shameless
"Thanks."
Shameless
"Whoo!"
Shameless
"Hey. Sorry I'm late."
Shameless
"No biggie."
Shameless
"Good news."
Shameless
"Linda's done with me this month."
Shameless
"Oh, yeah?"
Shameless
"Maybe we could, um..."
Shameless
"adjust the cameras, for old time's sake."
Shameless
""Then I hear it..."
Shameless
"Any chance of you getting a job, now that you're sober?"
Shameless
"Shh!"
Shameless
"We're getting to the part where Katniss"
Shameless
"releases the tracker jackers that kill Glimmer."
Shameless
"Dinner in the kitchen, if you want."
Shameless
""Then there's laughter,"
Shameless
"He I'm going out."
Shameless
"Hard day."
Shameless
"Why are you so upset with Dad?"
Shameless
"Fiona, we, uh... we've been through this before, remember?"
Shameless
"Last time Dad was sober?"
Shameless
"He, uh, he had a bet with some guy at the bar,"
Shameless
"and became the perfect dad."
Shameless
"I mean, it was the first time he ever came to"
Shameless
"And uh, I hit a double."
Shameless
"You knew he was going to go back to his regular shitty self."
Shameless
"No, that's, uh, that's the thing."
Shameless
"I didn't know."
Shameless
"Hi. What are you doing?"
Shameless
"Well, I was, uh, I was going to go back,"
Shameless
"Okay."
Shameless
"Why didn't you just go to the front door?"
Shameless
"This seemed more romantic."
Shameless
"Plus, I didn't know if you were up there with someone."
Shameless
"Jason snuck out an hour ago."
Shameless
"Jason Pierce?"
Shameless
"Maybe."
Shameless
"I'll be right down."
Shameless
"All right."
Shameless
"I'm not even in the mood, V."
Shameless
"What's up?"
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"You know what's up."
Shameless
"Is this about the kid?"
Shameless
"Yeah."
Shameless
"What now?"
Shameless
"You've made her do your chores."
Shameless
"And then you promised to do hers next week?"
Shameless
"So? You lied to her."
Shameless
"V, that girl needs us."
Shameless
"I mean, you heard that messed-up story of hers."
Shameless
"Not to mention, she thought I wanted"
Shameless
"to have sex with her today. What?"
Shameless
"A 13-year-old girl."
Shameless
"Who knows what crazy family she's going to get"
Shameless
"if we give her back?"
Shameless
"Kevin, we're not keeping her."
Shameless
"I think we should, until she gets a permanent home."
Shameless
"We can help her live like a normal child."
Shameless
"I signed on for the money."
Shameless
"Where are you going?"
Shameless
"I'm sleeping on the couch."
Shameless
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