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Clips from Shameless - It's Time to Kill the Turtle (S01E01)

"He's done this once before."
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"We gotta help Daddy stay busy and keep"
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"his mind off of drinking, so he can make $3,000."
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"Hey, everybody, come here. Gather round."
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"I haven't been the most exemplary father"
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"for the past three or 15 years."
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"But now I'm gonna need your help to get through this."
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"From this point forward,"
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"we're going to be a family again."
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"What the hell is that?"
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"Spin, Ethel, two times! Under the shovel!"
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"You only spun... you only spun her two times!"
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"Here comes Carl!"
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"Under the shovel!"
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"Hey! The piano."
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"I didn't know Frank played the piano."
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"Neither did I."
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"♪ Just turn around now ♪"
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"♪ 'Cause you're not welcome anymore ♪"
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"♪ Did you think I'd lay down and die? ♪"
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"♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪"
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"I can't believe you guys are buying"
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"into all his bullshit."
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"Come on. I'll walk you home, Karen."
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"What difference does it make?"
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"He'll be drinking again by tomorrow, anyway."
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"That from Steve?"
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"Said he works with her."
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"Don't know if I believe him."
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""Carry Me Home on the Cross?""
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"Yeah, with no sauce."
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"I'm hanging by a thread."
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"You're talking to someone who's renting a kid for money."
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"I gotta find something more permanent."
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"Like what?"
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"Could take a PowerPoint class."
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"Maybe Frank will stay sober and get the cash."
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"Maybe I'll win the lottery."
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"Hey, you think Steve's lying?"
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"Probably."
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"If I find out he is, I'm done with him."
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"Steve. He's getting text messages"
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"Candace?"
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"Uh-oh, that sounds like a woman you have an affair with."
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"It does? It does?"
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"Did you ask him if he was?"
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"Yeah. He said he wasn't."
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"Well, then you have two choices: believe him or don't."
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"Or you could let your suspicions grow"
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"until you turn into"
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"until he starts sending anonymous threatening notes,"
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"and you have to report his ass to the po-po."
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"Brian, Joey, Michael."
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"you cut and run."
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"Maybe it's time you tried something new."
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"Damn, baby, that was good!"
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"I have no idea what PowerPoint is, but you're smart."
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"Anybody here?"
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"I'm home."
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"Little brother!"
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"Flight from Detroit okay?"
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"How's school? Ah, piece of cake so far."
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"Well, that's what you get for going to Michigan instead of Harvard."
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"Oh! You set me up for that, huh?"
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"Huh? Huh? You didn't see that coming."
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"Nah. How's the practice? Busy."
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"Thank God for fast food and stress."
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"It's like a platinum Amex for cardiologists."
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"Hey, you. Hey."
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"I missed you."
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"We're all in the kitchen having tea."
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"I'll tell your mother."
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"I mean, I got three fucking kids at home,"
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"and you're going balls-deep in that?"
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"Hit 22 pubs before I hurled."
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"Got right back on the horse."
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"Hit ten more. Hurled again."
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"That's how I got the nickname "Boot and Rally.""
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"Cool!"
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"Anyone seen the laptop?"
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"What's going on in here?"
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"Are you serious? Mm-hmm."
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"What'd I tell you?"
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"If I ever drink again."
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"Java's my vice now."
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"Yeah, well, drunk or sober, you're still an asshole."
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"Lip!"
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"It's okay, Deb. Everybody's got a right to"
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"his opinion. That's what makes this country of ours so great."
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"You want orange juice? Ooh, yeah, yum."
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"Where'd you get all this stuff to make breakfast?"
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"Traded some old Hustler magazines with Rusty the Drunk."
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"He's working as a dishwasher"
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"at the Denny's over on West 95th Street."
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"You want some OJ? No."
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"Oh! Found it. I'm taking this"
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"to the job center for a few hours."
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"Yeah, come on, Debs, Carl. Grab your coats."
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"Told Kev we'd be over there in five minutes."
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"Does that weird girl have to come with us?"
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"Where you going? Bowling. Lip knows"
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"a kid who can get us in for free."
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"Wanna come? No, Debs, I don't think he can..."
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"Hey, I'd love to come! Just let me clean this place up first."
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"Okay? Excuse me? What?"
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"Hey, the Gallaghers invited us to go bowling."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Said she would help me with mine next week. No."
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"What?"
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"Put that down. Put that down. Look,"
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"I know the Bible says you get closer to God and crap"
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"but this is just wrong. It's Saturday!"
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"And in my house, the way to get closer"
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"to God on Saturday is to play."
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"Is that in Ezekiel?"
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"Yeah, the updated version."
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"Now go change out of that Laura Ingalls dress."
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"And don't call me "sir.""
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"We are gonna have so much fun!"
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"Hey, Ethel, let's get a move on, huh?"
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