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Clips from Shameless - It's Time to Kill the Turtle (S01E01)

"I might hit some rough patches over the next few weeks,"
Shameless
"so I'd like you all to commit to not drinking, too,"
Shameless
"in solidarity."
Shameless
"Like schoolchildren,"
Shameless
"when they shave their head for the cancer kid."
Shameless
"So what say you all?"
Shameless
"for the next two weeks?!"
Shameless
"Fine."
Shameless
"Hope you all get AIDS."
Shameless
"Hi, girl."
Shameless
"Here for your check? Yeah."
Shameless
"Hi, Liam. Thanks, Gisela."
Shameless
"Fiona... I can't find it. What job did you do?"
Shameless
"Auto show last week."
Shameless
"Ah, shit. What?"
Shameless
"the time cards late."
Shameless
"Checks won't be in till next Friday."
Shameless
"Are you serious? Sorry about that."
Shameless
"Can I go pick it up?"
Shameless
"Payroll doesn't release funds early."
Shameless
"I won't make it till next week."
Shameless
"Sticks and Skates Sports Bar"
Shameless
"They still make you wear those uniforms?"
Shameless
"Yeah."
Shameless
"Might as well put a mirrored stage"
Shameless
"and a stripper pole in that place."
Shameless
"I'm teaching a free PowerPoint class"
Shameless
"for the next four Saturdays."
Shameless
"Could get you an office job once you're certified."
Shameless
"Starting pay is $20 an hour."
Shameless
"Hey, Sheila, Karen already leave for school?"
Shameless
"No. Have you seen Frank?"
Shameless
"What, he hasn't been here?"
Shameless
"Not in a few days. I'm rather worried about him."
Shameless
"I'm sure he's just on a bender."
Shameless
"dragging my ass out to the University of Chicago."
Shameless
"You're planning on going to college?"
Shameless
"Fuck, no. I thought we'd check it out though,"
Shameless
"Okay."
Shameless
"Hey, Ethel, Veronica's setting up a space for you in the living room."
Shameless
"In the meantime, pick your poison."
Shameless
"Parcheesi? Monopoly?"
Shameless
"Clue? No? Yes? Maybe?"
Shameless
"I haven't done my chores today."
Shameless
"Como se huh?"
Shameless
"No. Like what?"
Shameless
"Scrubbing floors. Washing dishes."
Shameless
"Hemming. Pickling. Canning."
Shameless
"Laundry."
Shameless
"Let's go grab a burger."
Shameless
"or burgers."
Shameless
"What?"
Shameless
"The Bible says that chores keep the soul pure."
Shameless
"It does?"
Shameless
"Sorry we can't fool around."
Shameless
"It's cool. I get it."
Shameless
"A woman's fertile for five days."
Shameless
"Linda looked it up online."
Shameless
"Oh, yeah?"
Shameless
"Is everything okay with you?"
Shameless
"Totally."
Shameless
"It's her."
Shameless
"She's ripe."
Shameless
"I got to go."
Shameless
"I guess I'll see you later?"
Shameless
"Yeah."
Shameless
"Mother!"
Shameless
"Frank!"
Shameless
"Oh!"
Shameless
"Frank!"
Shameless
"Frank!"
Shameless
"Oh, I am worried about you."
Shameless
"Where have you been? Are you all right?"
Shameless
"No, I'm not all right. No?"
Shameless
"I've got to stay sober for two weeks."
Shameless
"I'm not gonna make it."
Shameless
"Frank, I'm... I'm so proud of you."
Shameless
"Don't be proud. It's only been an hour."
Shameless
"Oh! You gotta help me."
Shameless
"Keep me busy. Entertain me."
Shameless
"All right, Frankie. Okay."
Shameless
"♪ Boom... ♪ That's good, Sheils."
Shameless
"♪ Bum-bitty, yum-bum, bum-bitty, yum-bum... ♪"
Shameless
"SAT's a side gig."
Shameless
"Pays for my boat."
Shameless
"Which gets you laid, I'm guessing."
Shameless
"No, the beard gets me laid. Chicks dig a beard."
Shameless
"You planning on going to college?"
Shameless
"I think he is, too."
Shameless
"That's cute."
Shameless
"I'd like you to attend the university next semester."
Shameless
"I can't. I still have a year and a half of high school left."
Shameless
"Well, test out. You know you're capable."
Shameless
"And pay for it with what?"
Shameless
"Beard get me money, too?"
Shameless
"There's grants you can apply for."
Shameless
"There's loans that will pay for the school"
Shameless
"and the dorm and your meal card."
Shameless
"And then I end up owing like a half million bucks, right?"
Shameless
"Well, you're a clever kid."
Shameless
"You'll figure out a way to stiff Uncle Sam."
Shameless
"And what's that? Well..."
Shameless
"That girl that you're with..."
Shameless
"Uh-huh."
Shameless
"...you'll knock her up, or someone like her."
Shameless
"But you'll always wonder if it happened accidentally on purpose."
Shameless
"You'll get a job at Best Buy."
Shameless
"And with luck,"
Shameless
"you'll make assistant manager by the time you're 30."
Shameless
"Unless, of course, the anger that you've suppressed"
Shameless
"finally bubbles over and you mouth off to the wrong person"
Shameless
"and you get your ass fired."
Shameless
"And from that point on, you won't be able to hold a job very long"
Shameless
"And what's that?"
Shameless
"That you never lived up to your potential."
Shameless
"And the only way to numb the pain of underachieving"
Shameless
"is with booze and with meth."
Shameless
"The old philosophical-professor..."
Shameless
"who's-gonna-set-the-troubled- teen-on-the-right-track?"
Shameless
"It's a little trite, don't you think?"
Shameless
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