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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Ebony Falcon (S01E01)

[both laugh]

"[both laugh]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It would've been eight

"It would've been eight"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[sighs] two things.

"[sighs] two things."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

First, this gym's wipe-down policy is criminally lax.

"First, this gym's wipe-down policy is criminally lax."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Second, I lowered the temperature

"Second, I lowered the temperature"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Still waiting on feedback,

"Still waiting on feedback,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, according to my new cloud-based scheduling system,

"Well, according to my new cloud-based scheduling system,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know the best way to deal with psychos.

"You know the best way to deal with psychos."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The silent treatment. We should draw him out by not engaging.

"The silent treatment. We should draw him out by not engaging."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Can you go any faster?

"Can you go any faster?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We don't want to jump the gun and spook him.

"We don't want to jump the gun and spook him."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nypd, hands on your head! My god, you're gigantic.

"Nypd, hands on your head! My god, you're gigantic."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And what does the ebony falcon do?

"And what does the ebony falcon do?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're talking right now!

"You're talking right now!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, tell me about that new system you set up at the gym

"Hey, tell me about that new system you set up at the gym"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

For scheduling appointments.

"For scheduling appointments."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

(holt) detectives.

"(holt) detectives."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

(holt) why do you think gina hired that p.I.?

"(holt) why do you think gina hired that p.I.?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

To mock us.

"To mock us."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes.

"Yes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A.K.A. Me, here at 10:00.

"A.K.A. Me, here at 10:00."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Always happen to the best people?

"Always happen to the best people?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Really?

"Really?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And as a token of my appreciation,

"And as a token of my appreciation,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The cool thing is you can eat whatever you want.

"The cool thing is you can eat whatever you want."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The ebony falcon. No.

"The ebony falcon. No."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The ebony falcon had no fear.

"The ebony falcon had no fear."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I left one for you.

"I left one for you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Such as my grandma's jewelry, some cash,

"Such as my grandma's jewelry, some cash,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Belonging to mario lopez.

"Belonging to mario lopez."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay.

"Okay."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

(brandon) whew!

"(brandon) whew!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right. We should set up a tactical team and hit the gym.

"All right. We should set up a tactical team and hit the gym."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But let's just sit down and talk about it.

"But let's just sit down and talk about it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah. That's me. I'll be right there.

"Yeah. That's me. I'll be right there."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[chuckles]

"[chuckles]"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Talking about nothing. And everything.

"Talking about nothing. And everything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

If he finds out we're worried about him,

"If he finds out we're worried about him,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's probably my greatest accomplishment ever.

"It's probably my greatest accomplishment ever."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

How do you know if your husband's a murderer?

"How do you know if your husband's a murderer?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Great.

"Great."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake, I promise. I'm good.

"Jake, I promise. I'm good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We good.

"We good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I would like to give you...

"I would like to give you..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So the longer this interrogation goes the better.

"So the longer this interrogation goes the better."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Trainer and known hemophiliac, so be careful.

"Trainer and known hemophiliac, so be careful."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

(amy) I need some afternoon coffee.

"(amy) I need some afternoon coffee."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're following up on this lead.

"We're following up on this lead."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Let's play "wife or dog."

"Let's play "wife or dog.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's a major operation.

"It's a major operation."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Of you a lot.

"Of you a lot."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What do you do at the park with kelly?

"What do you do at the park with kelly?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Fell asleep watching tv.

"Fell asleep watching tv."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's no one else I can turn to to solve this crime.

"There's no one else I can turn to to solve this crime."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

His feathers are muscles.

"His feathers are muscles."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here we go.

"Here we go."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Socially acceptable for you to roll around on a scooter.

"Socially acceptable for you to roll around on a scooter."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No. Just getting me the newspaper.

"No. Just getting me the newspaper."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I think the bigger issue is the complaint I received

"I think the bigger issue is the complaint I received"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm sensing from your tone it's that one.

"I'm sensing from your tone it's that one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Damn it.

"Damn it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It was a hypothetical question.

"It was a hypothetical question."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Aside from the cucumber water at the front desk,

"Aside from the cucumber water at the front desk,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thanks, boyle.

"Thanks, boyle."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, but just remember.

"Okay, but just remember."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm getting the manager! Get the hell away from me!

"I'm getting the manager! Get the hell away from me!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I hope you're on every case with me for the rest of my career.

"I hope you're on every case with me for the rest of my career."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I will say she makes a wonderful rye.

"I will say she makes a wonderful rye."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You bet. Mm-hmm.

"You bet. Mm-hmm."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why is everyone so worried about the sarge?

"Why is everyone so worried about the sarge?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So, kelly. Is that scully's wife or his dog?

"So, kelly. Is that scully's wife or his dog?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, lay out the steroids case.

"All right, lay out the steroids case."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"♪"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So we want to bring in the sarge.

"So we want to bring in the sarge."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Less talky-talk, more solvey-solve.

"Less talky-talk, more solvey-solve."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We need an itemized list of everything that was stolen.

"We need an itemized list of everything that was stolen."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He is so strong but so gentle.

"He is so strong but so gentle."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't know, I guess I just hadn't seen his kids in so long

"I don't know, I guess I just hadn't seen his kids in so long"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is a classy tepee.

"This is a classy tepee."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Is gonna buy you as a trainer.

"Is gonna buy you as a trainer."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Boom!

"Boom!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just out of curiosity, how did you find out about this?

"Just out of curiosity, how did you find out about this?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'd be skiing.

"I'd be skiing."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So we good?

"So we good?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's the ebony antelope now.

"He's the ebony antelope now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And you'll be happy to know

"And you'll be happy to know"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So I rewrote it.

"So I rewrote it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And this very fancy gown with, like, a magic eye print.

"And this very fancy gown with, like, a magic eye print."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Do you have any connections in the fbi or cia?

"Do you have any connections in the fbi or cia?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine