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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Hesitation Ramification (S07E07)

"I don't see why not."
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"I could set you up with my mom."
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"Why is that funny?"
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"That's just unhygienic."
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"It's a joke."
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"I don't think so."
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"I believe that a joke"
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"is a brief oral narrative"
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"with a climactic humorous twist."
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"See?"
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"The twist is that people don't usually change."
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"Hey, guys, don't forget,"
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"my episode's on TV tomorrow night."
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"We'll be there. Can we bring anything?"
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"Oh, that's so sweet of you,"
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"but I was gonna steal food from here."
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"Wait, if Howard's mother is coming,"
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"then you should also steal marbles."
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"Because she's obese,"
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"and hippos are obese,"
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"they eat marbles."
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"Maybe I need to dumb these down for you."
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"Do you?"
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"I think I'm hysterical."
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"I take it back."
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"That was funny."
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"The philosopher Henri Bergson"
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"says it's funny"
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"when a human being behaves like an object."
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"I bet that bit killed at The Chuckle Hut."
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"he was a philosopher."
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"You know, I think we're zeroing in on your problem."
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"developing a unified theory of comedy,"
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"'cause that's a tough crowd."
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"Are you set on people laughing with you?"
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"'Cause if you're cool with at you..."
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"to watch Penny's thing tonight,"
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"I didn't think you meant Stuart."
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"Really?"
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"I never for a second"
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"I almost met someone last night, but I blew it."
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"I was walking Cinnamon"
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"and this girl introduced herself,"
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"but she was so cute I panicked"
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"and said, "Wouldn't it be easier"
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"if instead of talking we could just sniff each other's butts?""
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"When I was a baby,"
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"my mother called me her little possum."
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"by talking to attractive girls,"
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"maybe you should practice"
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"Or maybe just stop talking."
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"I'm serious."
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"Go to the mall, talk to anybody,"
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"practice-- that way,"
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"when you eventually do talk to a cute girl,"
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"it won't be so scary."
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"Or just keep dating the possum."
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"I'm so proud of you."
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"We haven't even gotten to my scene yet."
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"I know, but you're going to be a TV star"
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"I don't know about you,"
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"but I'm very uncomfortable with all this."
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"Why? I've never seen this show before"
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"and now I'm starting with episode 246?"
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"It's unnatural."
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"Just think of the first 245 as the prequel."
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"All right."
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"What are you doing?"
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"I'm trying to make peace."
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"What's wrong?"
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"Where's my diner scene?"
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"Until I see the prequel, I'm lost."
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"but i-it's... gone."
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"They must've cut it."
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"I'm... I'm sorry."
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"I've been studying how to make people laugh."
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"is tragedy plus time."
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"Let's tickle some ribs."
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"I don't think they cut me out of the show"
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"because I was too pretty."
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"and kick Mark Harmon's ass."
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"How you doing?"
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"Ugh, this is such a disaster."
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"They got one of those six-foot sandwiches,"
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"...now he's missing"
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"So humiliating."
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"You still got the part."
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"Yeah, but this was supposed to be my break, okay?"
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"People were gonna see me in this show"
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"and it was gonna lead to bigger things."
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"Now none of that's gonna happen."
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"That wasn't gonna happen anyway."
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"Then what did you mean? I don't..."
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"always have to mean things."
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"that you don't believe in me. Nope."
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"but I know that I didn't mean that."
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"Not this guy. Oh, no way."
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"to give me your 100% honest opinion. Right."
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"to really make it as an actress?"
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"How could you say that?"
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"Of course I do."
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"All right, look... we'll come back to that."
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"Tell me how I'm gonna be a waitress"
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"for the rest of my life."
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"I truly do."
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"But this is an incredibly hard thing"
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"that you're shooting for."
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"I mean, the odds"
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"of anyone becoming a successful actor"
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"Wow, thank you."
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"Should've let Sheldon come."
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"is the element of surprise."
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"The prefrontal cortex"
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"and patients with brain lesions on their..."
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"Sheldon, you scared me."
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"That wasn't funny."
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"Or maybe you have a stick"
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"up your prefrontal cortex."
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"you can read a few books and come up with"
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"a definitive theory of comedy is absurd."
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