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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary (S03E03)

"I use them. I don't like them."
The Big Bang Theory
"Okay. Puppies. Where do you stand on puppies?"
The Big Bang Theory
"A puppy once bit my face."
The Big Bang Theory
"Of course it did."
The Big Bang Theory
"- How about that? Einstein was wrong. - What?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- Are you going to answer it? - I'm torn."
The Big Bang Theory
"She might be dying and, you know, wouldn't want to miss that."
The Big Bang Theory
"On other hand, if let it go to voicemail, I could play it over and over."
The Big Bang Theory
"I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy."
The Big Bang Theory
"Yeah? Does your mother call you every day at work..."
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"...to see if you've had a healthy lunch?"
The Big Bang Theory
"My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement."
The Big Bang Theory
"Okay, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...like you're 9 years old?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- You live with your mother? - No. That's the sad part."
The Big Bang Theory
"Rough. Okay, check this out."
The Big Bang Theory
"My mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children."
The Big Bang Theory
"That's nothing. I couldn't ride a bicycle..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity."
The Big Bang Theory
"Oh, wow, you didn't, did you?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Not on a bicycle. In a Camry."
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"A Corolla."
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"- More wine? - I'd love some."
The Big Bang Theory
"Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime."
The Big Bang Theory
"Why?"
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"A Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for."
The Big Bang Theory
"Okay, but only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yarmulke."
The Big Bang Theory
"It's a date."
The Big Bang Theory
"Am I a matchmaker or what?"
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"Lava Serpent."
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"Nest of Snakes."
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"- Underworld Guardian. - Underworld Guardian."
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"We skirmish to the death."
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"- Invisibility Spell. - Luminescence Spell."
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"- Two-headed tiger. - Three-headed lion."
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"- Sulfur. - Brimstone."
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"Problem, Wil Wheaton?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Hang on."
The Big Bang Theory
"You're holding two moderate spell cards, a Small Rock and a Potion of Zancor..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...which will be as much help as an air conditioner on the ice planet Hoth."
The Big Bang Theory
"...and two moves later, the game."
The Big Bang Theory
"- I think he's got me. - The year was 1995."
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"The place, Jackson, Mississippi."
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"Having spent 10 hours on a bus..."
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"...during which I had to twice violate my personal rule..."
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"...against relieving myself onboard a moving vehicle..."
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"...I finally arrived at the Fourth Annual Dixie Trek Convention..."
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"...only to find that my idol, Wil Wheaton..."
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"...decided he had better things to do than show up and sign my action figure."
The Big Bang Theory
"What?"
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"You betrayed me, Wil Wheaton."
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"Now I have my revenge."
The Big Bang Theory
"You went to the '95 Dixie Trek?"
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"Your memaw died?"
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"That's terrible."
The Big Bang Theory
"Yeah. It was."
The Big Bang Theory
"But I'm really sorry that I disappointed you."
The Big Bang Theory
"No, no, I understand."
The Big Bang Theory
"If anything happened to my memaw, I'd be one inconsolable Moon Pie."
The Big Bang Theory
"I should clarify that statement by explaining that she calls me Moon Pie."
The Big Bang Theory
"It's a special relationship, isn't it? Between a boy and his grandmother."
The Big Bang Theory
"Okay, great, everybody loves their grandmas."
The Big Bang Theory
"Now, come on, Sheldon, finish him off."
The Big Bang Theory
"Yeah. It's okay, Sheldon. I let you down."
The Big Bang Theory
"I deserve it."
The Big Bang Theory
"What are you waiting for?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Kill Wil Wheaton. From hell's heart, stab at him."
The Big Bang Theory
"- I can't. - Sure you can. Do it. Do it."
The Big Bang Theory
"No."
The Big Bang Theory
"I came here to defeat Wil Wheaton, the man who destroyed my dreams."
The Big Bang Theory
"But I can't defeat Wil Wheaton, the man who loved his memaw."
The Big Bang Theory
"- Enchanted Bunny. - No!"
The Big Bang Theory
"Not Enchanted Bunny!"
The Big Bang Theory
"I call my memaw "nana.""
The Big Bang Theory
"And she's gonna be very happy to hear..."
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"...that my Small Rock kills your Enchanted Bunny."
The Big Bang Theory
"Game over, Moon Pie."
The Big Bang Theory
"I don't understand. Your grandmother's alive?"
The Big Bang Theory
"Oh, you catch on quick."
The Big Bang Theory
"That was fun."
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"Wheaton!"
The Big Bang Theory
"Choke on that, sucker."
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"Well, I sure as hell wasn't gonna bring it up before sex."
The Big Bang Theory
"Potion of Zancor."
The Big Bang Theory
"Yeah, he lives around here. Big gamer."
The Big Bang Theory
"Although advertised to appear, he did not show up."
The Big Bang Theory