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Clips from The Office - Livin' the Dream (S09E09)

"and died quietly from a heart attack?"
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"Could Andy make it as an entertainer?"
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"You know who's really funny?"
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"This bird in the park that can't fly right."
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"But I don't have to, 'cause the park is free."
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"- Hyuh! Hyah! - Hyuh! Hyah!"
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"I will now perform the ceremonial changing of the belts."
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"[Shouting] He will now perform the ceremonial changing of the belts."
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"It's not a large room. I think they heard me."
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"Take my belt, master."
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"That's really okay."
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"Just slip it off my-- slip it off my hips."
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"Take a step back."
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"Okay, okay, I can't--"
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"I can't do this if you're gonna be thrusting like that, okay?"
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"I think we're gonna have to cut this off."
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"He will now perform the ceremonial cutting off of the belt."
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"He-- oh."
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"[Sighs]"
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"Hyah!"
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"Dwight has been practicing karate for years."
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"When we were dating,"
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"He would strap me to his chest"
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"in a Baby Bjorn made for fat children"
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"and do lunges across the farm."
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"I felt like I was flying."
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"- Congratulations. - We did it, we did it."
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"- I love you. - Okay."
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"Thanks."
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"[Clears throat]"
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"- You're going to watch me, right? - Yes, I will."
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"[Shouting]"
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"- Sensei, you're not watching. - Yeah, I'm watching."
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"Just do it."
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"[Shouting]"
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"[Exhales]"
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"Ho! Ha!"
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"Watch this part, okay?"
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"- Ha, ha, whoo. - Oh!"
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"Sensei, do you generally do house calls like this?"
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"And no. No, but Dwight insisted."
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"He wanted to receive his black belt in the place he loves most in the world."
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"He said that?"
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"[Dwight continues karate shouts]"
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"But I've got to hand it to him,"
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"he is one of the most tenacious and determined men I've ever met."
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"Hyuah! Hah!"
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"Hut!"
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"Ha-- ah!"
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"Unh! Kyah!"
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"[Growls softly]"
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"Ha! Ahah! Aah!"
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"[Applause]"
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"Oh!"
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"And-- and nothing is worth that."
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"Well, I tell you, Jim, a lot of guys in my circle?"
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"They wouldn't even change their golf schedule"
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"Dude, there is no way that Jim is just back here to "hang out with Pam.""
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"[Scoffs]"
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"You don't know Pam. She is really cool."
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"All I'm saying is, forget about my chair."
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"He wants the manager's chair."
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"And I thought you wanted that job."
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"Yeah, I did. But..."
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"It's out of my reach now."
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"Besides, I think Jim would be a fine manager."
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"I'd be happy to see Jim as manager."
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"So the reason I called you in here is because Andy is moving on."
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"Again."
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"Again. [Chuckles]"
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"And I'm looking for a new manager."
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"Am I crazy?"
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"Not at all."
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"It should be Dwight."
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"You sure?"
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"You're going to want to invest in a lot more liability insurance,"
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"Hey, if there's someone who loves paper more than Dwight,"
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"I definitely don't want to meet that person."
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"Andy, we just wondered if we could have a word."
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"It's now or never."
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"Well, we just had a quick question about this decision of yours."
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"You know, to leave a stable job"
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"and pursue a career in the entertainment business"
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"in your late 30s"
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"with no savings to fall back on"
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"Yeah, sure. What's your question?"
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"Our question is--"
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"it seems dumb."
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"Of course."
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"But what if you were to stay here,"
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"you know, and"
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""full-ass" it?"
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"Be the greatest manager in the history of this branch"
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"and in that way,"
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"achieve the fame and immortality that you seek?"
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"Hmm?"
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"Nah. I like my plan better."
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"Well, Andy, your plan sucks, okay?"
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"Nobody is going to hire you ever."
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"You're too character-y to be a lead,"
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"and you're not fat enough to be a great character actor."
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"What?"
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"No, I don't think he can make it as an actor."
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"But he also can't make it as an employee in an office, so,"
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"you know, why not go nuts with it?"
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"Hey, are you still in charge of office supplies?"
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"I seem to have a sticky note emergency,"
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"where I grab it on the wrong end,"
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"If you could help me out, that would be--"
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"I could give you some beginner stickies?"
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"- Anything would help. Thank you. - Okay."
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"- Here you go. - Oh, also, while you're at it,"
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"if you did have a salt packet, three tacks, and some aspirin, that'd be great."
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"- Wow, that's-- - It's all yours."
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"- You come so prepared. - [Chuckles]"
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"If you want to get rid of a headache, you sit on something sharp."
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"Any sensei will tell you that."
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"It's really great."
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"Thank you."
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"So I saw you talking to Wallace earlier."
The Office
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