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Clips from Son of Zorn - Defender of Teen Love (S01E01)

"All right. Well, I got some cold stuff in the toilet."
Son of Zorn
"Eh, you know what? Doesn't matter."
Son of Zorn
"Uh, what'd you want to talk about?"
Son of Zorn
"I just, uh... So that-that Corn Nuts thing worked."
Son of Zorn
"- How did you know that? - Like I said,"
Son of Zorn
"I'm no stranger to feminality, okay?"
Son of Zorn
"I just understand women on a deeper level than most men."
Son of Zorn
"I listen. You know, that's really a big part of it."
Son of Zorn
"You just got to listen. No, I'm kidding!"
Son of Zorn
"I'm... I'm screwing with you."
Son of Zorn
"No, I use the Stone of Sight."
Son of Zorn
"ALAN: What is that, like, a... is that a Web site?"
Son of Zorn
"Okay, all right, what you want to do,"
Son of Zorn
"now hold it there, you want to keep it"
Son of Zorn
"- straight there, just so can... - Like this?"
Son of Zorn
"Okay, now, you want to look through here."
Son of Zorn
"All right, good. Now repeat after me."
Son of Zorn
"- Show me... - Show me..."
Son of Zorn
"the elfish, waifish Asian maiden."
Son of Zorn
"- Nancy? What is this? - Come on, just say it."
Son of Zorn
"(sighs, grunts)"
Son of Zorn
"Show me Nancy."
Son of Zorn
"(lightning zapping, thunder crashing)"
Son of Zorn
"Guys, I have your salmon right here."
Son of Zorn
"- (gasps loudly) - Pretty cool, right? Hmm? Yeah?"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, and just so you know, it's dangerous in the hands of evil."
Son of Zorn
"ALAN: You stalking her."
Son of Zorn
"I-I'm just watching her every move."
Son of Zorn
"- That's stalking! - What?"
Son of Zorn
"I'm just trying to help you so that"
Son of Zorn
"you'll think I'm an awesome dad and then,"
Son of Zorn
"I don't know, we'll sneak into a ball game together"
Son of Zorn
"and dump beer on people's heads and fight the security."
Son of Zorn
"- I mean, is that a crime? - Yes, those are all crimes."
Son of Zorn
"Excuse me for not knowing all the crimes"
Son of Zorn
"in all the world, okay?"
Son of Zorn
"All right, so you don't want to know"
Son of Zorn
"that her favorite movie is Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
Son of Zorn
"Or that she prefers short hair on guys"
Son of Zorn
"and thinks that white V-neck T-shirts are crazy hot."
Son of Zorn
"- She said that? - Yeah. I mean, unless"
Son of Zorn
"she was lying to her best friend Shannon,"
Son of Zorn
"which I really don't think she would."
Son of Zorn
"Although, come to think about it,"
Son of Zorn
"when Shannon got home last night, she was talking"
Son of Zorn
"- I don't know her personally. - Like, pull your jeans up, lady."
Son of Zorn
"- Nobody needs to see that. - Okay."
Son of Zorn
"Let me just, like, think..."
Son of Zorn
"Okay, if I'm not aware of what you're doing,"
Son of Zorn
"- Mm-hmm. - Then it's just basically"
Son of Zorn
"like I... it's like I guessed."
Son of Zorn
"Sure. Yeah, no, rationalize away."
Son of Zorn
"As far as I'm concerned, I'm just getting pointers"
Son of Zorn
"from my dad on girls, right?"
Son of Zorn
"God, it's so cool when you can"
Son of Zorn
"really see yourself in your child."
Son of Zorn
"(grunting)"
Son of Zorn
"(creature grunting quietly)"
Son of Zorn
"- (exhaling sharply) - CREATURE: Ooh. Ooh."
Son of Zorn
"(creature growls)"
Son of Zorn
"ZORN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait."
Son of Zorn
"I'm not finished with that page yet. Don't... Aw."
Son of Zorn
"Likes... the way Rooney Mara wore it."
Son of Zorn
"Dislikes the way Khloe Kardashian..."
Son of Zorn
"Or however you spell that... Wore it. Okay."
Son of Zorn
"Man, I remember when stalking used to be fun."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, you know what? Show me the punk who stole my phone."
Son of Zorn
"(echoing): Man, what the...?"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, boy."
Son of Zorn
"Of course... It was in the coin pocket."
Son of Zorn
"I never use that little guy."
Son of Zorn
"Mm. Now I got to go back and apologize to that valet."
Son of Zorn
"Hey. (chuckles)"
Son of Zorn
"This is actually pretty cool. Can't believe I've never..."
Son of Zorn
"(sputters) You know what? Whatever."
Son of Zorn
"Like Craig doesn't have a bald spot."
Son of Zorn
"Show me Craig."
Son of Zorn
"ZORN: Oh, brother."
Son of Zorn
""Oh, look at me cycling with my fiancée."
Son of Zorn
""'Cause we're one of those couples that enjoy"
Son of Zorn
"spending time together." Give me a break."
Son of Zorn
"Todd! Hey! Can I ask you a question?"
Son of Zorn
"- Actually, I'm kind of in a... - Yeah. How do you make a sale?"
Son of Zorn
"Well, the easiest way is to start with someone you know."
Son of Zorn
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Uh, Todd! Todd!"
Son of Zorn
"Would you want to buy some soap dispensers?"
Son of Zorn
"Todd, wait!"
Son of Zorn
"♪ ♪"
Son of Zorn
"- Hey. - Huh?"
Son of Zorn
"What?!"
Son of Zorn
"- Do you shop here? - Here? Oh,"
Son of Zorn
"It's super funky, you know?"
Son of Zorn
"It's, like... I feel like vintage clothing"
Son of Zorn
"really has, like, a story to tell."
Son of Zorn
"I literally said the same thing this morning."
Son of Zorn
"Wow. Huh. Yeah, you know what, sometimes, uh,"
Son of Zorn
""life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop"
Son of Zorn
"and look around once in a while,"
Son of Zorn
"- you can miss it." - Ferris Bueller."
Son of Zorn
"Yeah. It's, like, my favorite movie."
Son of Zorn
"It's my favorite movie."
Son of Zorn
"No way!"
Son of Zorn
"- Crazy. - NANCY (laughs): Shannon,"
Son of Zorn
"This is Shannon, by the way."
Son of Zorn
""Creepy Alan"? With the psycho dad?"
Son of Zorn
"I'm gonna go see if any of the stuff from the '80s"
Son of Zorn
"still has coke in the pockets."
Son of Zorn
"You know, I, I on... I only just met her just now,"
Son of Zorn
"but I've seen her around school a bunch,"
Son of Zorn
"and she's, like, definitely changed a lot in the last year,"
Son of Zorn
"- you know what I'm saying? - Yeah."
Son of Zorn
"She was really into volleyball last year,"
Son of Zorn
"- but now she's... - Now she's like a total stoner."
Son of Zorn
"You know, it's, like, one beaded braid no make Dem"
Son of Zorn
"- a Rasta! - (laughs)"
Son of Zorn
"Hey, this is totally random, but, uh, next weekend"
Son of Zorn
"I have two tickets to see this band,"
Son of Zorn
"Pineapple Candy. I don't know if you're"
Son of Zorn
"(passing horn honks)"
Son of Zorn
"(quietly): Oh, you're kidding me."
Son of Zorn
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