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Clips from The Office - The Target (S09E09)

"Not enough lobster. Side order."
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"How much wine do you have?"
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"I just gave her a cookie, and she called me an angel,"
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"so... yeah, we're good. Yeah."
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"We dodged a bullet, yes. Okay."
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"Yeah. Yeah, yeah-- well, I gotta go now, but--"
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"Nicely done. Very nicely done."
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"All right, this next one goes to Darryl"
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"Ooohh... you salty dog."
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"Well, yeah, what can I say, a player's gotta play."
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"There you go."
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"Actually, that was the sound of me eating spaghetti."
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"- Okay, I got this one. - Oh, be careful."
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"- Be careful, be careful. - No, I got it."
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"Easy does it, everyone."
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"Nobody even take a breath."
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"Kevin!"
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"What did I say?"
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"Hey, hey, hey, it's just a mistake."
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"Just a mistake. That's what this tower's all about--"
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"Okay, if you're afraid of screwing up,"
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"That's right. Nobody."
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"See that? Nobody. Okay?"
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"Come on, you in?"
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"Yeah. There we go. All right, let's do it."
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"it's really only two days, remember."
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"I mean, I'll be back in the office."
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"If you need me for an emergency, call me."
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"I don't know where the years went."
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"- Tell me about it. - Whose hands are these?"
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"They're not my hands. I don't know."
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"- Maybe we'll just-- - Uhh--"
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"Pretty soon, we're gonna be at the ceiling."
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"- What? - Oh, come on."
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"We could use a blank card."
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"- No! - That's cheating."
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"You? Little miss priss?"
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"No, I wouldn't."
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"I can't even relate to that impulse."
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"- Hmm. Yeah. - All right."
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"Yeah, go, Pam! Pam..."
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"What? Why did you call me out here?"
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"The target-- it's Oscar, isn't it?"
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"They flare like that every time you're engaging in deception."
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"Hello again, naughty nostrils."
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"Exactly, a friend."
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"Someone who sits next to you year after year,"
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"making chitchat and smiling,"
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"and all the while running behind your back"
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"But the first ones to break your marriage vows"
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"were you and me."
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"Well, you might be right, but it's too late now."
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"- What do you mean? - He's here."
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"No! No, no!"
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"Oscar. Oscar. Good. Listen."
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"- Hey, come with me. - What?"
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"- Come-- come with me. - What are you doing?"
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"There are a bunch of construction workers"
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"in the warehouse without their trousers,"
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"drinking diet sodas."
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"Yahtzee."
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"No, not him, not him. Outside."
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"Outside."
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"Don't be pushy, Jim. It's tacky."
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"Phyllis, that's-- that's decorative."
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"No, there's wine in here."
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"No. Maybe stop with the--"
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"- Ha ha! - Phyllis!"
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"Wow."
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"- Bring it over. - Got it."
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"Okay, actually, there is time to explain."
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"When Angela found out that you seduced her husband,"
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"we hired a guy to break your kneecaps."
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"Oh, my God! What is wrong with you?"
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"in the Scranton Wilkes-Barre area,"
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"and you choose the man who's the father of her child?"
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"those precious knees you're always bragging about."
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"Now, let's get out of here. He could be right behind us."
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"Aah! Actually, he's right in front of us."
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"He's a Dunder Mifflin man. He's my tribe."
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"I'm sorry, Dwight, but for once in my stupid,"
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"all right? I have masculinity issues--"
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"- Stop! No! - I got it."
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"- Disarm! - You don't--"
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"And disarm now!"
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"No, Oscar, no. No, he's a friend."
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"He's a friend."
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"They're family-owned, but don't let that take away your edge!"
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"Hello, this is Pam Halpert."
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"Yes, your paper provider."
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"people yell, "hey, kool-aid.""
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"- Did she buy it? - Did they say anything?"
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"I don't know. I couldn't tell. I don't--"
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"Were they angry?"
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"I-- I felt like they were confused, at least."
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"I will make sure that goes on file."
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"Nice. Nice."
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"- Got it? Good-bye, my friend."
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"- What the hell, Dwight? - I'll see you later, Trevor."
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"You are incorrigible!"
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"I just saved your life. You're welcome!"
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"You hired someone to hit me with a pipe!"
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"You deserved every bit of it!"
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"You made my husband gay."
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"What-- what I did was wrong,"
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"and I have to live with that every day."
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"But your husband is gay. He was gay when you married him!"
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"- No. No. - Angela, until you face that,"
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"you're gonna be confused and angry for all the wrong reasons."
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"But if you want to blame me for the whole thing,"
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"go ahead-- I won't stop you."
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"Well, are you gonna let go of it?"
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"Because part of the blame is definitely on you."
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"Angela, it's a lead freaking pipe."
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"- God! - Aah!"
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"You were supposed to be my friend."
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"- I'm so sorry. Angela-- - Oscar."
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"For insulting a client's recently deceased mother."
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"Well, a woman who struggled with obesity all her life."
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