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Clips from The Office - The Target (S09E09)

"So I just have to wait and see."
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"Good morning."
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"Yes."
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"get someone to fix it."
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"I'll just go downstairs."
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"- Thank you. - No, thank you, Angela."
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"She doesn't know."
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"This is a woman who married a man"
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"I guess the universe rewards true love."
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"Well, well, well, it's finally happened--"
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"I am really gonna start painting"
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"the warehouse mural today."
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"Queen of the primer, that one."
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"You got this, Beesley."
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"and help you get started?"
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"Are you avoiding your phone call?"
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"What? No. Yeah, right."
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"As if."
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"Today, I will be asking David Wallace"
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"if I can start working part-time,"
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"I could have prevented that."
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"So I have to talk to Wallace."
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"Tell them your opening line."
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"Hey, David, how would you like a guy who's not here as much,"
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"gets paid the same amount of salary,"
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"and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?"
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"This is gonna be awful."
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"And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards."
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"But the information's already on the computer, so..."
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"why am I filling out the card?"
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"and then went away on a big long boat ride."
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"So here we are."
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"because I will build a little paper house."
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"I need you."
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"Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting."
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"Put your clothes back on."
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"That's not why I'm naked."
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"Just put them on! Put on your clothes."
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"I need your help."
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"- Ugh. - Oh, I'm sorry,"
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"your vigilante privileges ended when you broke up with me."
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"If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes."
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"Why don't you ask your husband?"
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"I don't know who I can trust."
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"I need someone to be there for me."
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"All right, what are we talking?"
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"- Surveillance, wire-tapping? - Something like that."
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"- I'm gonna use SMS text. - Okay."
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"- Text went through. - Okay."
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"All we can do is sit and wait."
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"I mean, I can handle any client issues from Philly."
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"If there's a crisis-- the more I think about it--"
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"Oh, well, Phyllis and Stanley have agreed to cover for me"
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"Oh, okay. Well, that is different."
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"In that case, yes-- maybe this can work."
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"Because we're friends."
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"I don't know, because we're not friends."
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"How about this--"
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"you let me take you to lunch,"
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"That's the idea."
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"before I can go higher."
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"Make it go wider... up!"
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"Will do."
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"What are y'all doing?"
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"Cool. It should be taller, though, right?"
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"Obviously."
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"He's a sweet kid, Darryl,"
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"but he's not the sharpest guy in the drawer."
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"Kevin, I can hear you."
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"Huh?"
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"Ow! Dwight! Ow!"
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"- Get in the van. - God!"
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"Is it safe to talk?"
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"Well, this documentary crew has been following"
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"So what are your credentials?"
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"I started following people around to get exercise."
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"You tell me."
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"It's the receipt for my gun."
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"You don't carry it with you?"
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"That's a $300 gun. Someone could steal it."
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"Trevor's had stolen from him?"
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"- Mm-hmm. Good safe? - Oh, you tell me."
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"I guess if I make a mistake,"
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"I can just paint over it with a shrub or something."
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"It's just I think less of paintings"
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"You paint wall now?"
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"Yeah. Painting now."
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"I just want to make sure that..."
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"You paint now."
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"It's probably gonna be a few minutes."
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"So you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing."
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"thanks to Meredith Palmer,"
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"who called Eastern Pennsylvania Seminary"
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"Oh-ooooh!"
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"- Boom! - Bang!"
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"- Yep, yep, yep. - All right."
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"You get half now, and you get half"
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"- And that's all off the books? - Obviously."
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"Okay, that's the big one. That's the big M."
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"You can't have someone murdered!"
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"What if they deserved it?"
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"What did they do to you, Angela?"
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"- This seems a little crazy. - Yes. Crazy."
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"- No! No! - Thank you."
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"to get revenge."
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"I've had great success by defecating"
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"in a paper bag, put it on the porch--"
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"I've been on the receiving end of that quite a few times."
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"- It's devastating. - No, no, no."
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"It has to be physical. I want this person to suffer."
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"What about a knee-capping?"
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"No! You're not helping, Trevor!"
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"No. Angela! What are you saying?"
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"You said you would be there for me."
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"I'm trying, but what you're asking is--"
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"It's the only thing that will make this right."
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"One knee-capping."
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"accepting calls from my clients while I'm gone."
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"- Morning, folks. - I'll have the surf and turf"
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"Actually, the surf and turf does come with lob--"
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