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Clips from Silicon Valley - To Build a Better Beta (S03E03)

"by the quality of your initial release, you've released too late."
Silicon Valley
"Where's Gilfoyle?"
Silicon Valley
"I need to borrow your fella here for a second."
Silicon Valley
"Richard..."
Silicon Valley
"He rented that cannon?"
Silicon Valley
"Nelson is not the only one who should be worried."
Silicon Valley
"But shuttering a company in the tech world"
Silicon Valley
"At first, it's ugly and embarrassing"
Silicon Valley
"in the larger scheme of things, you realize it's really..."
Silicon Valley
"and we're gonna keep it small and secure,"
Silicon Valley
"and, uh, people that I know I can trust."
Silicon Valley
"You know, Jared, you can have all ten of Gilfoyle's invites."
Silicon Valley
"Great. I promise I'll find something terrible to say."
Silicon Valley
"Now, that's the bad news."
Silicon Valley
"- Is there good news? - Well, it's unclear."
Silicon Valley
"uh, to see where all of the money went,"
Silicon Valley
"and apart from the party expenses,"
Silicon Valley
"Well, that is the six-million-dollar question."
Silicon Valley
"You, the man who spent $20,000"
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, right. Sorry. - Thank you."
Silicon Valley
"I have people calling me 40 times a day asking for their money."
Silicon Valley
"we're gonna take our little show on the road,"
Silicon Valley
"that wasn't exactly conventional."
Silicon Valley
"- Sorry. Sorry. - No, you did good."
Silicon Valley
"What's up?"
Silicon Valley
"who just got invited to Pied Piper's beta."
Silicon Valley
"Shit. They're already in beta?"
Silicon Valley
"You know, it makes you wonder if the word Hooli"
Silicon Valley
"Get me a look at that Pied Piper beta."
Silicon Valley
"- Hey, thanks for the lift, Kevin. - Yeah, no worries."
Silicon Valley
"Catch ya later, my friend."
Silicon Valley
"He also said there was a bug on the landing page."
Silicon Valley
"- Well, how severe is it? - Not bad."
Silicon Valley
"Guys, uh, you might as well hear this from me."
Silicon Valley
"Why did you send it to him? He hates everything."
Silicon Valley
"our beta was the best beta he's ever seen."
Silicon Valley
"but we may have a healthy brood on our hands."
Silicon Valley
"I'm getting the same reaction."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, a few bugs here and there,"
Silicon Valley
"I mean, just trying to make sense of all the feedback."
Silicon Valley
"- It's great. People love it. - Really?"
Silicon Valley
"Do you have any issues with the interface?"
Silicon Valley
"I... I haven't actually had a chance to look at it yet."
Silicon Valley
"He says, I heard the beta's awesome. Can I get a look?"
Silicon Valley
"Guys, I think we're starting to get some buzz."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, do... do you think you can set the meeting?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, Richard, um, if your friend Max Karnow"
Silicon Valley
"Just shoot me his email."
Silicon Valley
"was lying to us and funneling our money to said other clients,"
Silicon Valley
"therein, fucking us."
Silicon Valley
"Wait, it's not an uncommon...? So then it..."
Silicon Valley
"Mr. Bachmann,"
Silicon Valley
"the money is gone, unless you win a court order"
Silicon Valley
"Yes, and how do you see that playing to people who are being priced out"
Silicon Valley
"who lucked into more money than most people see in five lifetimes,"
Silicon Valley
"or I assure you, that, I will prosecute."
Silicon Valley
"I'm just calling everybody that was on the beta and saying hi"
Silicon Valley
"and a quick thank you, and then a... just a couple of follow-up questions."
Silicon Valley
"They're, like, snowboarding in Tahoe"
Silicon Valley
"- Buzz-kill. - Wait. Your boys are where?"
Silicon Valley
"Actually, we can."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, that is very cool. Nice work, Gilfoyle."
Silicon Valley
"And we can isolate each of our users."
Silicon Valley
"Dinesh's, for example..."
Silicon Valley
"When I was little,"
Silicon Valley
"and why are they at the Hooli campus?"
Silicon Valley
"What? Did you give the beta to someone at fucking Hooli?"
Silicon Valley
"- That's incredible. - Yes, well, it is my craft."
Silicon Valley
"Wow, um, clearly we're dealing with a Hooli spy here."
Silicon Valley
"So what do we do?"
Silicon Valley
"Look at their compression ratios."
Silicon Valley
"And even if we did, our platform isn't designed to accommodate it."
Silicon Valley
"That's impossible."
Silicon Valley
"It looks like a zip bomb. They must know it's us."
Silicon Valley
"Shit. It could fry the entire system."
Silicon Valley
"It's isolated to your user account,"
Silicon Valley
"It has no impact on the rest of the network."
Silicon Valley
"You don't know that. You don't know shit. None of you do!"
Silicon Valley
"when we have a totally open and hedonistic relationship"
Silicon Valley
"The history of humanity is a book written in blood."
Silicon Valley
"No, Gavin, you have a deadline."
Silicon Valley
"Steve's place is pretty far away from everything,"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Hold on. CJ called."
Silicon Valley
"It's a cautionary tale of two young entrepreneurs"
Silicon Valley
"And Jian-Yang..."
Silicon Valley
"- Sorry. - What the fuck?"
Silicon Valley
"- Richard... - No, it's okay."
Silicon Valley
"so I don't know."
Silicon Valley
"Turns out the answer is it's a three billion dollar company."
Silicon Valley
"And unfortunately, with Pied Piper, it's me."
Silicon Valley
"Um, a week ago,"
Silicon Valley
"Yes. Tuesday, 9:00 a.m."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, T minus five minutes."
Silicon Valley
"This isn't easy for me to do."
Silicon Valley
"But we're transferring to AWS now,"
Silicon Valley
"and I'm afraid you can't come."
Silicon Valley
"I'd rather have a bunch of fake friends"
Silicon Valley
"Erlich Bachmann,"
Silicon Valley
"Jobs and Woz, Woz and Jobs."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, well, get ready for your lives to change forever."
Silicon Valley
"Five..."
Silicon Valley
"No, Dinesh. We are not releasing the beta."
Silicon Valley
"We integrated the neural net a week ago. The platform is full of bugs."
Silicon Valley
"But that is what a beta is for."
Silicon Valley
"You give it to people in the real world, they use it,"
Silicon Valley
"and that is how we find the bugs."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, Reid Hoffman says if you're not mortally embarrassed"
Silicon Valley
"Okay. We already are mortally embarrassed."
Silicon Valley
"mainly because it was too expensive,"
Silicon Valley
"Any more bad word of mouth and we will be royally fucked."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, Gilfoyle, the deletion issue is ducking me again,"
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, hey, Richard. - Hi, Tara."
Silicon Valley
"can you let me know if there's something weird"
Silicon Valley
"that happens with the submit button?"
Silicon Valley
"It was a little weird when I was doing QA."
Silicon Valley
"- Yeah, okay. - Sorry, the... the settings view for...?"
Silicon Valley
"- The beta. - The beta for...?"
Silicon Valley
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