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Clips from The Simpsons - The Fool Monty (S22E22)

"♪ ♪"
The Simpsons
"the next phony baloney crisis"
The Simpsons
"Well, I think... NBC, you are here"
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"public health scare."
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"It's like the summer of the shark,"
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"Wow. Wow! Oh, yeah!"
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"Now we just have to blame it on something"
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"hypothetical outbreak pattern."
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"You know, I don't know when this was ever a good idea."
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"Hurry up, boy!"
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"We have to burn everything the cat touched,"
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"They have a vaccine!"
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"I don't even have a kid that I admit to having."
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"Why are you wearing that costume?"
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"Hooh! Hurry up and get in! I'll drive."
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"Come on! Like this!"
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"Gettin' healthy... and very sleepy."
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"and I'm afraid I've got a bit of hard news."
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"Eh, you certainly don't."
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"You see, I'm afraid you're dying."
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"whooping cough, hectic fever, cancrum otis,"
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"Whew! I will have to hand-crank my wiener warmer."
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"Melt his ice sculpture!"
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"♪ La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la... ♪"
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"Why does everyone hate me?"
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"Anthill, wasp nest, moose poop, Mr. Burns..."
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"But which end?"
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"You my mommy-daddy-puppy?"
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"but my dad hates you more than celery,"
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"Bart, who are you talking to?"
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"Well, okay."
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"Okay, okay! I'll find you some food."
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"Because he would inject me with coffee at 6:00 a.m."
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"in the back of the head."
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"A philanthropist, a humanitarian, a man of peace..."
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"did nothing to lessen the salivary salvos."
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"It's not up to you."
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"We're going to take him to our moral and civic leaders."
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"They'll know the right thing to do."
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"Boo!"
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"but, uh, you take what you can get. Whoa!"
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"Okay, Burnsie, follow the carrot!"
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"Ow!"
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"Okay, here's your choice:"
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"I believe you want the assistant manager, sir."
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"What was that? Ice skating?"
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"What do you do?"
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"It's 2:00, which makes him my Uncle Ed for an hour."
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"What did you do with him?"
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"Already?"
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"I thought, after all you went through,"
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"you just might want to spend an hour"
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"Actually, sir, the man who lived here didn't have many friends."
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"And they can also bloody well change back!"
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"Smithers!"
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"Mr. Burns! You're alive!"
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"Oh, Mr. Vice President..."
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"I... I am."
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"I just need to erase your memory."
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"It's been done!"
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"a cube of bulletproof plexiglas?!"
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"Uh, it's pretty much the same thing."
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"although that never seems to occur to anybody."
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"Set 'er down, Smithers."
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"You were given six weeks to live,"
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"was that for once in your life you were helping other people."
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"Could it be?"
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"It wasn't kindness that was keeping me alive,"
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"Loathing is my life blood, and rage my royal jelly!"
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"Oh! Preposterous!"
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"I need someone to cheer me on in the school play."
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"And it's gonna be you,"
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"♪ The Simpsons 22x06 ♪ The Fool Monty Original Air Date on November 21, 2010"
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"PILOT We're unbalanced!"
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"It's not fair!"
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"I'd like to call to order this secret conclave"
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"of America's media empires."
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"We are here to come up with"
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"to put Americans back where they belong--"
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"in dark rooms, glued to their televisions,"
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"too terrified to skip the commercials."
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"to listen and not speak!"
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"I think we should go with a good old-fashioned"
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"A new disease! No one's immune!"
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"except instead of a shark, it's an epidemic..."
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"and instead of summer, it's all the time!"
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"That is smokin'!"
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"Now I hate to be the guy who derails"
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"what everybody else loves..."
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"He loves being that guy."
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"But, Janice, we do have standards."
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"This can't be a made-up disease."
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"The only moral thing to do"
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"is release a deadly virus into the general public."
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"We do have something we've been holding onto,"
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"but it hasn't been tested."
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"Get over here, NBC."
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"Well, we certainly believe in testing,"
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"but I... Oh!"
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"So, we've got our deadly disease."
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"that's in every household..."
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"something that people are a little bit afraid of already."
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"Housecat Flu is coming, people!"
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"The Center for Disease Disinformation predicts"
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"with some degree of probability"
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"that the Housecat Flu might spread in the following"
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"So petter beware, that warm body on your lap just might be"
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"ready to destroy your tender vittles."
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"Springfielders are advised to stay tuned for more information"
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"if they experience any of the following symptoms:"
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"mild thirst, occasional hunger, tiredness at night..."
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"before the virus makes us paranoid!"
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"Stop burning!"
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"All right. We'll get the vaccine."
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"Homer, did you know he was in the pile?"
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"I thought he was an old clump of rags."
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"Don't worry, people."
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"We have enough vaccines for..."
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"one child per family."
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"Please use your time in line wisely"
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