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Clips from Silicon Valley - Maleant Data Systems Solutions (S03E03)

"Quite a plan you boys cooked up here."
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"that I have four employees"
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"I found out about it within 30 seconds."
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"with Maleant to buy the box."
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"There are maybe eight engineers on earth"
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"and three of them are here in this office right now."
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"of the conjoined triangles of success."
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"is we stand up the prototype, that's it."
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"the basic minimum requirement of the deal,"
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"So, what do you say to that action--"
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"Yeah, Richard, we have a deal."
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"I think you were right. The Havahart traps don't seem to be working."
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"It's funny, we're named Pied Piper, but we're beset with rats."
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"for 48 hours and I want to kill myself."
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"and want you to kill yourself."
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"- What? - I'm Dang."
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"Okay. Sure."
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"What we're doing here could actually save time."
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"Okay, if it was up to me, I wouldn't even have it in the first place."
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"where no one can see it except for a sad man named John with a ponytail."
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"Okay? Just make it a box."
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"And please turn off that fucking music."
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"Is this not my parking space?"
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"Beyond the freeway?"
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"There's a shuttle stop on the ground level."
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"Call Gavin Belson. Cell."
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"Gavin : Greetings, friend, I'm not available right now."
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"- Please leave a message after the beep."
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"Gilfoyle's preprocessor and my compressor"
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"No wonder our modules aren't running at the same speed."
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"- Why would you do that? - I tried to make it slow."
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"So I added a differencing library"
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"and then the whole thing just took off like a rocket."
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"- That's actually pretty cool. - Yeah, I thought so too."
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"All right, well, I guess I should just revert back."
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"Right? Slow my preprocessor way down."
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"Although, Richard, couldn't you just rewrite the compressor"
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"directly to the compressor seed functions."
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"That's not our box, is it?"
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"Is that, like, what you do?"
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"I mean, that's going to go in brochures, man, that's like an advertisement"
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"and give the bezel a little slam."
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"You should go do it, you know. Go and make the damn thing."
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"What the hell is all this shit?"
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"whose selves I could easily tell to go fuck..."
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"What the fuck are you doing here?"
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"Crazy, right?"
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"that we should spend less time together?"
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"Well, I have to say, this is a big relief."
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"You are ready, Chela, to stand on your own,"
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"I'm-- I'm sorry. Wait, what... what rumors?"
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"There is talk that in the face of a growing threat"
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"- that you have done nothing. - Well, yes, but--"
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"Wait, should... should I be worried about this?"
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"but far nonetheless."
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"and half the water evaporated overnight. It's crazy."
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"It's just this house has, like, nine bedrooms."
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"So I just wanted to have some roommates around,"
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"but, um, you know, I felt weird charging them rent, cause, you know."
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"You just admitted to starting a competing incubator."
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"All of you!"
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"What are we doing here?"
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"- Okay. - Attaboy."
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"All right, get it out of here!"
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"I just showed them the box, Jack's the one who made the deal."
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"Big Head? The guy you once called more useless"
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"than a bag of dicks without a handle?"
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, on to Pied Piper."
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"of the hardware requisition agreement"
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"Actually, I don't think I was CC'd on--"
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"I save your ass and you stab me in the back like this?"
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"to vote for the box. On the page,"
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"Well, she couldn't do a goddamn thing about it then."
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"I could do something to help?"
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"and call for a revote tomorrow,"
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"And if I could get a, uh, an email, be CC'd on the latest draft..."
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"Right, I saw this nature documentary where a bison fought a lion"
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"Obviously, you don't have your Hooli news alerts up to date."
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"Go to the site. I'll wait."
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"Um, it's an ad. Hold on."
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"Just wait four seconds and then you can click it."
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"is that I just closed a 250 million dollar deal"
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"Also, I invite you to click yes,"
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"- What is funny about this? - He's intoxicated."
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"- Holy shit. - I am so confused right now."
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"is objectively worth 250 million dollars."
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"Wait, okay. We are a middle-out compression platform company."
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"there's no reason to revote. We win."
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"- Is he okay? - He's going to be fine."
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"Does he really not remember us?"
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"I hope Jack doesn't cry."
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"I really hope he does."
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"- Fuck me sideways. - Indeed."
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"Quite a plan."
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"I'm not sure what upsets me more,"
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"that conspired to commit felony fraud,"
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"We got sales, manufacturing, design, assembly,"
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"logistics teams, they're all ready to go."
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"All of them on the payroll, all of them here"
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"to build me a box."
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"I have a deal, in principle,"
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"The second that we deliver a product that meets those specs, we are cashing checks!"
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"And you are the only four people in this building"
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"that are fighting me on it!"
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"claw back your options,"
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"make you unhireable all over town,"
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"one goddamn reason!"
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"- Because you can't. - Excuse me?"
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"to complete a working prototype before the deal expires."
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"proficient in middle-out compression."
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"Five of them work for Endframe, your competition,"
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"So if we're gone,"
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"What do you want?"
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"I want to build my platform. Now."
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"So, what I think maybe we should do is, um,"
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"and we, uh, compromise."
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"Compromise is the shared hypotenuse"
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"Mm-hmm, yep. So, uh... so, what I'm proposing"
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"We're not doing any custom features, no new versions, no maintenance, nothing."
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"Richard, the Maleant basement."
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