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Clips from Family Guy - April in Quahog (S08E08)

"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker."
Family Guy
"Tricia Takanawa has the story."
Family Guy
"who knows math better than me."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"They have summoned me."
Family Guy
"Ah, the amused laughter of the envious."
Family Guy
"Yeah, they do."
Family Guy
"I have been entrusted to pass judgment upon others."
Family Guy
"and Daniel Day Lewis."
Family Guy
"So then, I'm not special?"
Family Guy
"Everyone's special, Peter."
Family Guy
"Hey, and you know what else is cool?"
Family Guy
"And the worst part is, they try and trick you"
Family Guy
"there was fecal matter involved?"
Family Guy
"That and the armed guards at the zoo."
Family Guy
"I don't care, jury duty sounds boring."
Family Guy
"Just like I got kicked out of Coldplay."
Family Guy
"you feel the court should know of?"
Family Guy
"Yes, you sir."
Family Guy
"So, if this is an ant trial, forget it."
Family Guy
"No way I'm gonna be fair."
Family Guy
"Moving around all single file and stupid."
Family Guy
"All ganging up and walking my pie off the picnic blanket."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"? A well-a-bird-bird-bird ?"
Family Guy
"items pertinent to this case"
Family Guy
"Oh!"
Family Guy
"And these socks you really need."
Family Guy
"Aw, hey, you know how the judge told us"
Family Guy
"Oh, stop it, you're the one with the sick abs."
Family Guy
"and scientists estimate that the event horizon"
Family Guy
"That's right, Tom."
Family Guy
"Which means th all life on Earth"
Family Guy
"Holy crap!"
Family Guy
"with less than 19 hours to go before our planet"
Family Guy
"As Americans everywhere face their last day on Earth,"
Family Guy
"one can only imagine how they're spending it."
Family Guy
"the only way to avert this disaster"
Family Guy
"All you are is a failed production company."
Family Guy
"You got to help me get laid!"
Family Guy
"You're a good man, Joe Swanson."
Family Guy
"Let's dial that number, shall we?"
Family Guy
"I will kill you."
Family Guy
"Look, since these are our final hours,"
Family Guy
"I don't know, but from the look in a stray cat's eyes"
Family Guy
"It was a goof! I was goofing on you!"
Family Guy
"Peter, what the hell?!"
Family Guy
"Peter, get off the lion."
Family Guy
"Lois, a day ago, I was stuck on jury duty."
Family Guy
"I feel like an old guy"
Family Guy
"Oh, sonny, those were crazy times."
Family Guy
"Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa."
Family Guy
"What the hell are you doing with a musket?"
Family Guy
"from rapacious cavalrymen."
Family Guy
"even though it's a Tuesday,"
Family Guy
"Peter, where are you going?"
Family Guy
"Last day on Earth, last chance to do this."
Family Guy
"into the gaping maw of the black hole."
Family Guy
"All right, Hastings!"
Family Guy
"Ah, I could get used to this."
Family Guy
"This is what I want our empire to be about."
Family Guy
"The first television broadcast."
Family Guy
"Mom, where's Dad?!"
Family Guy
"Peter, where have you been?!"
Family Guy
"I promise!"
Family Guy
"What?!"
Family Guy
"since we're gonna die."
Family Guy
"...three, two, one."
Family Guy
"April Fools!"
Family Guy
"Wait, what did Dad just say?"
Family Guy
"We at Channel Five News concocted"
Family Guy
"And with only 87 suicides and widespread looting,"
Family Guy
"we think this was a pretty successful practical joke."
Family Guy
"We're gonna live!"
Family Guy
"Let's get outta here."
Family Guy
"Peter, what did you mean?"
Family Guy
"They're your kids!"
Family Guy
"Get outta here!"
Family Guy
"Listen to you!"
Family Guy
"You don't know who my friends are."
Family Guy
"Um, Chandler..."
Family Guy
"You got lucky, Dad."
Family Guy
"Come on, guys. Let's go eat in the living room."
Family Guy
"'Cause sometimes I can suck 'em back up."
Family Guy
"Peter, they heard you say you hate being around them."
Family Guy
"in getting to know them."
Family Guy
"You gotta spend time with them"
Family Guy
"I'm always screwin' up."
Family Guy
"Hey, buddy."
Family Guy
"What?!"
Family Guy
"I'm just trying"
Family Guy
"My period's not an interest."
Family Guy
"that I cannot control."
Family Guy
"Gross."
Family Guy
"All right, I'm gonna go talk to Chris."
Family Guy
"Hello... Peter."
Family Guy
"when I was your age, my Uncle Roy shared a beer with me."
Family Guy
"And I know nowadays things are different..."
Family Guy
"so I got some crystal meth."
Family Guy
"You sure that stuff is okay?"
Family Guy
"All I know is the guys who made it are dead."
Family Guy
"And that's a Care Bear."
Family Guy
"No, we're working out a land deal."
Family Guy
"Trapjaw is trying to get a variance"
Family Guy
"of Optimus Prime's property line."
Family Guy
"with your dad right now,"
Family Guy
"this would be like the worst table at the wedding."
Family Guy
"Well, then how come you said you hated spending time with us?"
Family Guy
"Me neither."
Family Guy
"you let an owl in."
Family Guy
"Who wants a brand new Xbox?"
Family Guy
"Well, I guess if you can't earn your kids' respect,"
Family Guy
"Damn it! Ah, crap."
Family Guy
"I'm not a douchebag. I'm new."
Family Guy
"Moron! You suck!"
Family Guy
"Our top story tonight, scientists at NASA"
Family Guy
"have made a fascinating new discovery:"
Family Guy
"the first directly observable instance of a black hole,"
Family Guy
"which appears to be located just outside our solar system."
Family Guy
"Tom, I'm standing here with Stephen Hawking,"
Family Guy
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