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Clips from Veep - Debate (S03E03)

"we can make it an affair to remember."
Veep
"I got a whole new rush of blood to my new head."
Veep
"Well, if Thornhill strayed once, there might be others."
Veep
"Call me naive, but isn't that unethical?"
Veep
"Sorry to interrupt, but I need these looked at, stat."
Veep
"I just can't seem to get him out of my hair."
Veep
"- You have a new haircut. - Yeah."
Veep
"- And a twitch. - What?"
Veep
"I thought I was just feeling it. You actually saw it?"
Veep
"- It's really, really, really tiny. - You've seen it?"
Veep
"When you feel it happening, maybe you smile through it."
Veep
"- Oh. - Oh, there. Aha!"
Veep
"the uninterruptability of this meeting."
Veep
"Well, maybe I should get my mother to sign these papers."
Veep
"Sue, do not test me. I do not want to have a scene here."
Veep
"Somebody should check if they're having makeup sex."
Veep
"- Gary. Gary! - What do you think of the new cut, huh?"
Veep
"- Do you like it? - Of course I don't fucking like it, Gary."
Veep
"It's the worst use of scissors since my failed vasectomy."
Veep
"The elfin look is in right now. I was reading about it."
Veep
"People don't elect elves, okay?"
Veep
"They put them to work in grottos"
Veep
"or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them."
Veep
"- Okay, that's dwarfs. - It doesn't matter."
Veep
"Do you really think it's too short?"
Veep
"Yeah. She looks like k.d. lang."
Veep
"Think of all the lesbian jokes we're gonna have to suffer."
Veep
"- "fingering the dyke." - Oh, Mike. Why are you so angry?"
Veep
"Because you have created a fuckload of work for me."
Veep
"- You're married to one. - A blind woman?"
Veep
"Okay, do you think we could add extensions or something?"
Veep
"Yeah, well, then we use the drawdown-lockdown."
Veep
"- Right. - Fuck-what which-way?"
Veep
"Draw down troops abroad, lock down the budget at home."
Veep
"- No. - Okay, so what am I attacking Chung with?"
Veep
"- HA-HA. - What, are you laughing at us, "Pee-wee Sperman"?"
Veep
""Health care, air pollution, high salaries, and Afghanistan.""
Veep
"Position on immigration."
Veep
"Okay, well, my position"
Veep
"has always been clear on immigration."
Veep
"Um... oh, God, what the fuck is that thing?"
Veep
"- The three Rs. - Oh, the three Rs."
Veep
"Okay, yeah. I like them, then. I like 'em."
Veep
"harmed the "special relationship"?"
Veep
"Absolutely not. We still have a very special relationship"
Veep
"I think we're gonna leave it there today."
Veep
"Well, ma'am, I hope your meeting went well,"
Veep
"because the rest of your day is a logistical hell."
Veep
"She can't practice not having the twitch."
Veep
"She can practice that."
Veep
"We're getting ready for showtime."
Veep
"- How are you feeling? - It's hot. It feels hot in here."
Veep
"Yes, it's fine. Thank you very much."
Veep
"- Welcome to the University of New Hampshire. - Thank you."
Veep
"It's like being dropped into enemy territory unarmed."
Veep
"Hope you're not feeling too... well, I guess you are feeling a little nervous."
Veep
"Sir, might I say, you look very presidential."
Veep
"You gonna hit one out of the park, "Shoeless Joe"?"
Veep
"- Well, I'm gonna try, ma'am. - Maybe we're gonna be surprised"
Veep
"- by our "pinch hitter" over here. - You never know."
Veep
"My parents did not allow me to play sports"
Veep
"That's a shame."
Veep
"- Do you think that would be a good idea? - Good idea."
Veep
"I have a much better camera."
Veep
"All right, say who's gonna be president!"
Veep
"- No, no. - No."
Veep
"It's so smooth, it's amazing."
Veep
"It's like touching a child's face. Here, try it."
Veep
"I don't enjoy touching children's faces."
Veep
"Hey, "Dan Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.""
Veep
"How's it going, buddy? You gonna self-harm?"
Veep
"Can I live stream it?"
Veep
"How are you gonna manage all this craziness?"
Veep
"Well, I don't just manage, ma'am, I coach."
Veep
"And I'm gonna coach America."
Veep
"Okay. But I mean, if it doesn't pan out,"
Veep
"well, I guess you'll just have happy memories"
Veep
"to bring home to... where is it?"
Veep
"- Oh, okay. - Sorry to interrupt, ma'am."
Veep
"that you had all the numbers on the "sanctuary states.""
Veep
"Oh... oh, yes. Yes, I do. Yes."
Veep
"Because you need them all. Otherwise you'd be screwed."
Veep
"That's cute, little mind games."
Veep
"The twitch is back, yeah. I cannot believe it."
Veep
"No, that's in the past and you have to go forward."
Veep
"Oh, my God. Twitchy is back."
Veep
"Don't sweat it."
Veep
"- "Reform, reaffirm, renew." - No, "renew.""
Veep
"That's what I just said, renew."
Veep
"Maybe a fourth R? Maybe just "relax.""
Veep
"the candidates for tonight's debate."
Veep
"Joe Thornhill."
Veep
"Vice Preside Selina Meyer."
Veep
"Here's my favorite part, where they all pretend like they like each other."
Veep
"Governor Danny Chung."
Veep
"Fuck Broadway. This is real acting."
Veep
"- Let's get started. - Now he spills his water!"
Veep
"I swear, this kid is literally gonna shit himself."
Veep
"Joe Thornhill, you're an ex-baseball coach."
Veep
"People say you're way out of your league, literally."
Veep
"- Shouldn't you get off the field? - You know, ma'am..."
Veep
"and I live in the real America."
Veep
"I'll give you that. But you know what?"
Veep
"What you need is some coaching."
Veep
"And I want to be your coach."
Veep
"I want to coach America."
Veep
"And if you'll have me,"
Veep
"Thornhill's dial tests are off the dial."
Veep
"The public will vote for anybody they recognize."
Veep
"We could lose to the whale from "Free Willy.""
Veep
"And my record clearly shows"
Veep
"that unlike some of us, I have been tested."
Veep
"from a burning tank..."
Veep
"He should have been there when the tank was on fire."
Veep
"God, how does this kid feed himself?"
Veep
"Mike, you said Wendy would be here. Where is she?"
Veep
"She's not my dog, Amy... who actually isn't very well at the moment."
Veep
"I don't care, Mike. Just get Wendy here, okay?"
Veep
"She's got a problem with an anal gland."
Veep
"I'm talking about the dog."
Veep
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