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Clips from The Simpsons - Sunday, Cruddy Sunday (S10E10)

"Here comes our guide for the day, Postmaster Bill."
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"for all their ''postalistic'' needs."
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"But it's nine digits now. What's the point of these other four numbers?"
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"Well, children, any questions for Postmaster Bill?"
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"after a hard day of serving the public."
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"Bingo! Birthday card!"
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"- Graduation! - Ding-ding-ding! Wedding!"
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"A Val-U-Qual coupon book!"
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"See ya, kids. Me and my Val-U-Qual book are gonna paint the town red..."
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"- Um, Dad? - ##"
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"Oh, you betcha. Absolutely."
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"- No. - That tells me you need four new tires."
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"- No, boss, I swear. - That's it. You're fired!"
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"##"
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"Stem lube."
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"- Wally Kogen. - Hey, I know you."
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"Yeah. I'm getting tired of them pointing and laughing at us."
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"- I mean, when you think about it. - Football's so great."
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"a harrowing bye week that no one enjoys."
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"And now he's dead. Well, maybe they're a good thing."
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"The Atlanta Falcons."
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"Yeah, they're good, but I wouldn't count out the Denver Broncos."
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"Come on, Lenny. I need four more guys to fill my Super Bowl bus."
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"- Come on! - Nah."
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"I'm so happy you're going to the big game."
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"Wow. You've signed up quite a few people, Dad-"
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"the Sea Captain, Bumblebee Man, Comic Book Guy, the Squeaky-voiced Teen."
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"But what I lack in size I make up for in..."
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"##"
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"So, let's all enjoy it in moderation."
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"Now look what you've done."
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"I'm sorry."
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"- The guys made kind of a mess in your bathroom. - What bathroom?"
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"Uh, okay, fellas. Enjoy the pregame fun."
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"No problem. The N.F.L.'s got you covered."
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"Cool! The N.F.L.'s oldest surviving player."
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"Well, not my cup of-"
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"Sure you do. Everyone likes dune buggies."
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"Whoo-hoo! Homer Simpson with a pick!"
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"D'oh! My spine."
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"Okay, now we just have to stick the feet on."
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"Hmm. Lisa, I don't want to alarm you, but I'm not finding any."
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"Mom, this was made in 1 967. They're probably out of business."
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"Oh, Mr. Price. I loved you in The Abominable Doc-"
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"And now I must return to the sweet embrace of the crypt."
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"But I'll be back."
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"Springfield- ''Oh, hiya,'' Maude."
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"Come on in."
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"Hey, I'm just trying to make an honest buck."
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"My friends-"
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"Forget it. You'll just hurt me like all the others."
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"is they always have one phony bar for, like, emergencies."
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"Real. Real. Real. Real. Real."
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"And that was most definitely a safety."
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"Do you think you can bust old Wally and his pals outta the pokey?"
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"Well, I do have some of my extra-strength makeup remover."
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"See y'all!"
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"Where the hell's the game?"
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"Whoa!"
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"Hey!"
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"- Hey, somebody just scored. - Coming in a minute."
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"If you're Rupert Murdoch, prove it."
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"- ## - Hi, Rupert!"
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"Tell you what, Mr. Murdoch. Let's just split the difference."
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"Really? 'Cause I'm a travel agent and I've heard nothing but bad things."
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"Y'ello?"
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"Ow!"
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"All right, Lovejoy! You're gonna get it."
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"I'll probably give it to my wife. It's our anniversary today."
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"But this might be my last chance to win one."
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"All aboard, boys. I've been waiting for you."
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"I know. Just get on the bus."
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"D'oh!"
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"- No one? - I did until we came here last year."
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"Howdy, partners."
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"Welcome to your post office."
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"Wow! It's ours?"
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"This is the lobby where customers come..."
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"''Legends of comedy,'' my tuchus.!"
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"What has Fatty Arbuckle done that I haven't done?"
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"This machine reads zip codes."
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"These five digits tell us where to direct your mail."
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"Those are citizen relocation codes."
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"With any luck, we'll never need 'em."
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"- She's onto us. Should I flood the chamber? - Not yet. Let's get some lunch."
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"You ever gone on a killing spree?"
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"No, no. The day of the gun-toting, disgruntled postman..."
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"shooting up the place went out with the Macarena."
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"Well, I'm just glad I work at an elementary school."
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"I'm sure you all heard of the dead letter office."
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"you can each help yourself to one piece of undeliverable mail."
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"I'll take you."
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"A coupon book? What am I gonna do with this piece of junk?"
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"- Happy birthday, Dad. - Wow!"
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"Let's see. Ten percent off carpet cleaning. Ten!"
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"Two pizzas for the price of one at Doughy's!"
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"- Doughy's has terrible pizza. - Yeah, but there's two!"
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"Oh, free foot pain analysis."
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"I guess."
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"with savings!"
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"I'll start with a couple of pizzas, then a complimentary tango lesson."
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"And I'll cap it off with a smooth, refreshing colonic."
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"Now, this wheel balancing is free, right?"
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"Uh, oh, oh, wait a minute."
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"These tires won't take a balance."
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"- Really? - Yeah. Legally, I can't even let you drive out of here."
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"What's going on over here? You gonna let this man drive out of here on unsafe tires?"
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"No, wait. This is all my fault."
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"Oh, if I could only turn back the clock and buy four new tires."
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"Ooh, I know that look. You came in for the free wheel balance..."
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"- Six with the tip. - Hey, you got off easy."
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"I just came in to use the phone, and they got me for the whole Road King package-"
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"Even I didn't fall for that, although winter is coming."
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"Man, we are a couple of grade-A suckers."
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"We were in the same pyramid scheme."
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"Oh, don't remind me. Friends helping friends, my ass!"
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"Say, you wanna grab a beer while we're waiting?"
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"The road to the Super Bowl is long and pointless."
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"But now the two conference champs must survive..."
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"Bye weeks! Bronco Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks."
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