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Clips from The Office - New Girl (S01E01)

"I was just thinking, ''Will there ever be a boy born"
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"All right?"
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"- Brilliant. - Sorry I'm late."
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"You know... Girlfriend happens to be a boy."
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"The point is, if I did stay at Dawn's..."
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"Apart from all the sex, but we'll do it at your place next time so you don't have to worry."
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"Show's over. All right. Good. Well done. That's fine."
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"- Karen Roper. - Mr. Brent."
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"What is that?"
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"- Is that a philosopher? - Desree."
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"# I'm reaching out to a higher ground"
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"# To a warm and peaceful place"
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"- I don't think I... - # 'Cause we're living, we're living.."
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"They're going, ''Oh, cut back, lose staff. You know."
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"He probably does polish his own boots,"
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"but, you know, that doesn't mean..."
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"Curriculum vitae."
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"Desree?"
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"- I don't really know... - Let's put that down there."
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"Last year, I took a year out and I went travelling."
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"And Asia."
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"You've charmed me, yeah? You've got the job."
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"Out tonight celebrating, I suppose?"
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"No, come over. The drinks will be on me. In me!"
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"Efficient."
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"You embarrassed yourself and all, didn't you, um.. asking Dawn out."
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"Um..."
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"Yeah. There's gonna be a health and safety seminar later on,"
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"You know, I like to inject my own sense of fun into the proceedings."
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"Yeah. I just stayed in, had a big wank."
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"Despite having done it twice."
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"Sorry."
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"- Hi. - Hello. All right?"
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"- Yeah. I was just... - I've got to go in a sec."
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"So we should go for that drink."
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"- I can probably get someone to come along. So.. - Good."
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"All right. Now watch where I place this mug..."
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"in order to simulate where someone might put a mug in real life."
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"- Are you all right? - Eh?"
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"And bend your knees."
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"Good. One more time."
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"- Yes? - Where do I file these?"
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"So you won't fire them, as such?"
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"She's not a lesbian, Gareth."
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"He says to me, ''You look knackered.''"
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"I don't know where we're going tonight,"
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"Having said that, at Chasers,"
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"I don't know. It's exciting. I'm staying out of it."
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"You know what they say - one up the bum, no harm done."
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"All right? Especially for a soldier."
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"''Who's used all the penicillin?''"
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"Vodka and coke. Remembered."
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"And they're going, ''Don't put your neck on the line for us.'' And I'm going ''I will if I want to.''"
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"He's not even permanent member of staff. I'd have preferred if you slept with Gareth."
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"No, coz' he's a little weasel-faced arse."
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"Yeah, and from behind because your breath stinks of onions. Now I didn't tell you that, did I?"
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"''Their wives fri'zz out peroxide hair,"
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"''The cabbages are coming now."
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"I'm not thinking about it, I'm doing it."
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"I'm leaving to go back to university"
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"to learn about more than the price of opti-bright laser copy paper."
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"- 298 a gram. - 24O a gram. Check the list."
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"I thought you said something different. What are you gonna study?"
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"Psychology."
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"What do you want to be a psychiatrist for? They're all mad themselves aren't they?"
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"I want to be a psychologist."
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"Same difference. Allright Einstein. If you're so clever, what am I thinking about now?"
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"You're thinking, ''How could I kill a tiger armed only with a biro?''"
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"- No. - No."
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"You're thinking, ''If I crash land in a jungle, will I be able to eat my own shoes?''"
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"- No, and you can't. - What are you thinking, Gareth?"
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"''who can swim faster than a shark?''"
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"Oh, midday. Are you just getting in?"
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"No. I should be here in about an hour."
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"About an hour. You're already here."
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"Who am I, then, Dixon of Dock Green?"
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"- What? - Evening, all."
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"Not so worried about that, but while you're lodging with me,"
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"your parents have entrusted me with their most valuable possession - you."
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"Yeah?"
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"Ipso facto."
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"Trust received, responsibility given and taken. Yeah?"
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"I'm your guardian. You stayed out all night."
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"Ok. You stayed with a friend, that's fine. I'm a little bit annoyed that her parents were not calling me."
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"- His parents weren't in. - His parents. It's a bloke, so what?"
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"Come on. God. Chill out, shall we, please?"
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"- I could stay at Dawn's... - No, you couldn't."
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"Well I could if I got off with...at the wrong... Got off at the wrong bus stop."
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"- I could, you know. I'd be on the floor... - Yeah we spent some time on the floor."
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"For a good reason, probably."
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"More room."
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"Just go free. Come on. Jesus."
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"- But if I did stay at Dawn's... - Which you couldn't."
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"- You could stay at mine if you wanted. - I don't want to stay at yours."
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"there'd be no funny business. There was no funny business, fine..."
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"Was it no...wasn't anyone in the office, was it?"
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"It was actually. I slept with someone in the office, everybody!"
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"Don't even... It's not that..."
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"Oh..."
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"Oh..."
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"I'd let you stay at mine."
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"Um.. I'm getting a secretary because I need one. So..."
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"The lucky contestants are..."
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"All right?"
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"- This is Stuart Foot. - Hello, Stuart."
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"I don't know a Mr. Brent. David."
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"She'll brighten up the place, won't she?"
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"If she gets the job. So will you. If he gets it coz' you're both equal."
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"No foregone conclusion. Based on interview...and merit."
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"I mean it is up to me, ultimately, but good luck."
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"You'll do well to impress me. So uh.. Nurse, the Polaroid!"
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"Just for um..."
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"Just for er... Sit down. To take a snapshot."
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"Just for the files. Just to keep on record. I'll do it. I'll do it."
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"Let's get that lovely smile on..."
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"I'll come down here."
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"That's nice. Oh, the hair all..."
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"Lovely. That looks nice. Lovely blue eyes."
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"OK. Big smile."
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"We'll have a look at that. Do one of you as well."
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