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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Charlie Has Cancer (S01E01)

"- Yeah. - That's so sad."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Are you okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- [Mac] You did what? - I slept with her."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Charlie's been in love with that girl for months."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I know, man. I don't know what happened. I mentioned the cancer thing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- She instantly started comin' on to me. - Really?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Yeah. You were right about that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Cancer- gold mine."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- What-What are we gonna do? - Don't worry. I got a plan."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Bam."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Bam? What's that?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"$200."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Gross."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, Carmen!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Hey. - Charlie has cancer."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, my God!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"## [Rock]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, Dennis! Could you help me with this keg, please?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Uh, I slept a little funny on my neck."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, is your friend gonna be doin' stuff like this?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Um- - Hello."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Can I help you? - I'm Artemis."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"who moved to the big city with big dreams..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"just to find out..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"the only way to make it in the big city..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"is to shake it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Whispering] Shake it. Shake it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You wanna see me shake it?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Chuckles] Of course you do."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"They all do."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I shake it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Shake it. I shake it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I shake it. I shake it. I sha-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, you know what? This is so you. I tell you I need some help behind the bar."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I finally find someone who's perfect, and she'll practically work for free."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And just 'cause she doesn't have the right measurements or whatever, you freak out."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, you just want somebody to do all the grunt work for you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Shh! She's gonna hear you. - I don't care!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey-oh!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Uh, I might. - [Urinating]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. I think you do know. You talked to that waitress, right? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"It totally worked. It totally- I don't know what you said, but we went out on this date."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Sure, yeah. What things?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Well, you know, the... cancer. - [Urinating Stops]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Toilet Flushes]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Here's the thing though... about cancer."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Chuckling] Mom, I'm telling you, this girl's amazing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Yeah, I got butterflies in my stomach."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"There's one little issue. Yeah. Oh!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, my God! I think you broke my nose!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- That guy's beatin' on that chick! - [Carmen] Oh, my God!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, no. You know what? It's a dude. Yeah, she has a penis. So it's okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Dude, isn't that a hate crime? - Shit, yeah, it's a hate crime!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- How could you do this? - Oh, well, excuse me for bein'..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- the most terrible man on the planet! - I- I'm sorry."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, I'm a terrible man! - What are you doing? What is that?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Who's we? - Me and Mac and Sweet Dee."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, great! Great. I told you not to tell anyone!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Now I'm gonna have to go into remission or something so they don't think I was lying."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- You were lying! - Yeah. I lied to you, all right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Look. The girl- she wears a Lance Armstrong bracelet."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Okay? So I tell you that I have cancer, right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We're gonna start dating. And that's the way that life works, man!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- That was a horrible thing to do! - Well, I'm a bad guy then."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- You are a bad guy! You lied to us. - All right, look at this."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Sometimes you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- You gotta crack a couple eggs to make an omelet? - You gotta crack an egg."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Class is in session. The teacher's teachin' class now!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I'm crackin' eggs of wisdom. - Is that what you're doin'?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Let me crack one more egg for you and throw it in the omelet! - You got an egg?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- The waitress doesn't even like you. - Yeah?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Sex?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We didn't have sex."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Give me a second. Charlie was lying the whole time."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- that you paid her to have sex with me? - What?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You can't lie about having cancer! It's not something you do!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"These two guys started chasing me. Dee, get me a beer."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, what the hell do you guys want?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Uh, we paid you $250 to sleep with Charlie and-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And you never actually had sex with him."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So we were wondering if we could get the 250 bucks back."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Chuckling]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You know, it feels actually pretty good to get this off my chest, you know?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Keep- Keep your head up. You're gonna get through this. - Oh, yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- The boxes? That's what Charlie does. - Charlie's job, yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Carmen, you have the most amazing body. Are you bulimic, or what?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I like your bracelet. - Great."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- You must be a very compassionate person. - I'm not."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And you know what the thing that's so rad is?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I know that, man. You don't grab."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
""So you're new here, yeah? Who are you?""
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"End scene."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I won't be able to pay my bills!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Okay, well, I have a friend who would be absolutely perfect for it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, oh, no, no, no. You know what? I was gonna leave."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Gross."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, what do you wanna do?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Door Opens]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You cannot possibly have thought that this was gonna be a good idea."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Hey, buddy? - Dennis!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"That's great, man. That is terrific. It must really take your mind off things then, huh?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- We thought you were dying, Charlie. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- So you're throwing down life lessons now? - I'm throwin' down eggs!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Grunts]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey! Guess what, Dee. You're gonna love this. No, no, no."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- He doesn't have cancer. - Well, how could you not tell me..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Voices Speaking Backwards]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, I gotta get back to work."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
""Live Strong" kind of things."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And that's what I do..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You poor baby. I'll be right down."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You're never gonna believe what happened! I accidentally punched that tranny in the face."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Whimpering]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Artemis, that was amazing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Wow, dude! I thought my place looked like shit."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We can't just abandon him right now."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, no. I like it. [Chuckles]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, my God! Ow. [Sobbing] - Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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