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Clips from Family Guy - Roasted Guy (S13E13)

"Oh, I don't know about that, Jamie. Pigs eat slop, Lois only cooks it."
Family Guy
"What the hell? Peter, can I speak with you for a second?"
Family Guy
"Oh, hang on, guys, I got to talk to my dog."
Family Guy
"What the hell are you doing?"
Family Guy
"I'm just gabbing with the girls."
Family Guy
"You know our cycles have lined up?"
Family Guy
"You're saying horrible things about Lois."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah, it cracks up the ladies."
Family Guy
"Yesterday, Karen laughed so hard she popped a button on her jeans."
Family Guy
"And then she cried."
Family Guy
"Peter, Lois is your wife. You should be defending her,"
Family Guy
"not talking trash and gossiping behind her back"
Family Guy
"like some kind of Midwestern teenager."
Family Guy
"Did you gals hear about Allie Gallagher?"
Family Guy
"She let Alan Ackerman smack her in the back"
Family Guy
"What? Nobody here in Maryland understands a single word you're saying."
Family Guy
"You should move back to Minnesota."
Family Guy
"I can't go back. I Snapchatted Matt Gackerack a Kodak of my ass crack!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois?"
Family Guy
"I did something bad I need to tell you about."
Family Guy
"Peter, I know."
Family Guy
"No, no, no, no, that's not it."
Family Guy
"But did you put the ice cream where the guy said?"
Family Guy
"Because he will hurt your family."
Family Guy
"Look, the thing is, me and my new girlfriends,"
Family Guy
"we've kind of been talking trash about you and laughing behind your back."
Family Guy
"Peter, of course your new friends have been talking crap about me."
Family Guy
"That's what women do."
Family Guy
"What? So... you're not mad?"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm not thrilled, but I understand what it's like to be friends with women."
Family Guy
"I'm sure they talk trash about you behind your back."
Family Guy
"They most certainly do not!"
Family Guy
"I guarantee you that as soon as you leave the room, they tear you to shreds."
Family Guy
"Just like I figured out who was stealing my lunch at work."
Family Guy
"Please, you don't understand!"
Family Guy
"Oh, I understand. That lunch didn't have your name on it,"
Family Guy
"but this bullet does."
Family Guy
"Ugh, have you guys seen the new Jessica Biel movie?"
Family Guy
"I-I don't get what men see in her."
Family Guy
"Um, her dumper?"
Family Guy
"I just think she's really plain-looking."
Family Guy
"Yes! Uh, stunning."
Family Guy
"Yeah, uh... I-I think, um..."
Family Guy
"Um, I'm maybe gonna go use the restroom"
Family Guy
"and let you guys talk about whatever you're gonna talk about."
Family Guy
"Huh, I guess Peter made it to the bathroom, 'cause I can't feel him walking anymore."
Family Guy
"I know. "Fee-Fi-fo-fum!" Right?"
Family Guy
"And what about those drugstore glasses?"
Family Guy
"These aren't drugstore glasses, they came from a doctor Halloween costume."
Family Guy
"Lois was right."
Family Guy
"They are making fun of me behind my back."
Family Guy
"They're like a nasty wolf pack."
Family Guy
"Hey, man, just a heads-up: instead of howling at the moon tonight,"
Family Guy
"we're all gonna yell "cock-a-doodle-doo!""
Family Guy
"Really? That seems weird."
Family Guy
"I'm just trying to make sure you don't look silly."
Family Guy
"Cock-a-doodle-doo!"
Family Guy
"What an idiot! He actually believed me!"
Family Guy
"That's what a rooster says, not a wolf!"
Family Guy
"Hi, Daddy! How was howling at the moon?"
Family Guy
"Shut up! Why aren't you asleep? Why isn't he asleep?"
Family Guy
"Leave him alone! Have you been drinking again, Phil?"
Family Guy
"Hey, buddy, want to get high?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Phil?"
Family Guy
"Hey... Robert."
Family Guy
"Wow. Ah, hey, listen, man..."
Family Guy
"Cock-a-doodle-doo!"
Family Guy
""Cock-a-doodle-doo" is a passion project I'd been mulling over for years,"
Family Guy
"and when Family Guy gave me the opportunity to shoot it,"
Family Guy
"I knew there was only one actor who could portray Phil the Wolf: Glenn Quagmire."
Family Guy
"Peter gave me a beer that tasted funny, and when I woke up,"
Family Guy
"I was wearing lipstick and a wolf suit."
Family Guy
"Lois, you were right. Those women were talking about me."
Family Guy
"Oh, dear. What did they say?"
Family Guy
"I don't even remember, there was such a long cutaway,"
Family Guy
"but I know it was really mean."
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Peter."
Family Guy
"So what do I do now?"
Family Guy
"Confront them face-to-face and explain why I'm angry?"
Family Guy
"Of course not. Being friends with women is way more complex than that."
Family Guy
"You need to be more underhanded and vicious."
Family Guy
"Really? We'll-we'll do it together?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, it'll be fun."
Family Guy
"Like when we watched Battlestar Galactica together."
Family Guy
"Now, which Cylon is that?"
Family Guy
"Ah, I-I don't know. I think it's Number Six."
Family Guy
"Wait, i-is that the same Number Six that had sex with Dr. Baltar?"
Family Guy
"the same exact amount of time you have, Lois."
Family Guy
"I don't know anything you don't."
Family Guy
"How in God's name would I know that?! I don't know!"
Family Guy
"It's green, so it probably makes something go."
Family Guy
"Hello? Peter, where are you?"
Family Guy
"Way ahead of you, Lois. I just cut her brakes."
Family Guy
"What?! Don't you think that's a little dangerous?"
Family Guy
"Hey, you're the one who said we should try to ruin her marriage."
Family Guy
"She bangs up her car, her husband's gonna be furious."
Family Guy
"What was that?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I-I just ran a red light."
Family Guy
"My car won't slow down for some reason."
Family Guy
"Anyway, this is gonna be awesome."
Family Guy
"Geez, I'm going, like, 95."
Family Guy
"Peter, are you sure you didn't cut your brakes?"
Family Guy
"That's ridiculous. Why would I cut my own..."
Family Guy
"Kids, get out of the way! I can't stop!"
Family Guy
"All right, Peter, next is Jamie."
Family Guy
"Now, what's the most important thing in her life?"
Family Guy
"Oh, that's easy. Her daughter Emily is a competitive diver."
Family Guy
"The whole family's dream is that she gets a spot on the U.S. Olympic Team."
Family Guy
"Okay, so get a lead pipe and bust this girl's kneecaps."
Family Guy
"No, no, no, Lois. That's not how we're gonna do this."
Family Guy
"* Tightened our belts *"
Family Guy
"* Round and round *"
Family Guy
"* With love we'll find a way *"
Family Guy
"* Just give it time *"
Family Guy
"* Yeah *"
Family Guy
"That's how we're gonna do this."
Family Guy
"Okay, next is Karen."
Family Guy
"Now, she's been planning her daughter's wedding for a year."
Family Guy
"If it doesn't go perfectly, she'll be crushed."
Family Guy
"Already on it, Lois. I bribed one of the busboys."
Family Guy
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